I know exactly how you feel. I was there and terrified to quit. It was my one and only friend that made me feel better no matter what I did. Eventually, I saw I was losing everything around me and everyone knew. I got arrested and after that we moved and got clean.
Good luck to you. I hope you find your inner strength.
Ok I just sent it! Thank you.
Can I send you a private message?
Helping you helps me so even if you don't or didn't take my advice in the past or anyone elses that is your perogative but know that I benefit from supporting you just as you'll benefit from supporting others. You aren't the first person who couldn't divy up her meds - LOTS of people will tell you they couldn't taper, if they had pills they were eating pills. What works for some doesn't work for others - the great thing is that you realize it and realizing it is half the battle - NOW what are you gonna do about it? Can your husband dose them out to you? CT is the only way for some.
Chasing the high will eventually become unattainable unless you escalate to other stuff or more and more. For me the high lasted not long at all after I would take it and then I was just a lazy slug who never wanted to do anything.
Honey you can do this, you can - it is all about setting yourself up to not be able to con everyone. If you can stop yourself from certain actions be honest with your husband if you can - reach out to him to assist you. Getting a new script is up to you but if you truly want off - you know what to do.
We all get there in our own time......
Also I have tried tapering and I never can. I'm guessing I'm really sick if I can't even divy them out.
Thanks Iwilldothis. I think everyone on this board has given me advice. I don't want anyone to feel they wasted their time because I so appreciate every single comment. This is going to sound tertible but I'm afraid I will chasr the vicodin energy the rest of my life. I'm supposed to go to the Doctor Monday to get a new script
I'm a very sick woman :( thank u again iwilldothis...I really really really need someone to talk to..nobody and I mean nobody knows.unless everyone is talking behind my back :(
If you want it to get better, it will. I promise you that. Attitude isn't everything as sometimes we still relapse no matter how susie sunshine we try to be but attitude is a big factor. If you feel defeated before you even try that is usually what you will end up with.
I know it's hard and it doesn't matter if you've been here under a different name. The important thing is you are back and wanting to try again. Stick around, don't be ashamed - we've all been there or have a great potential to be there again.
You CAN do this.
I have nothing to lose here. I changed my screen name I have been here before. Ashamed to come back I always say I going to stop I do for a little while amd can't stand the withdrawl when I say I haven't gone three days I have but just not with my doc.maybe ill take a tylenol 3 that day. I feel like I'm completely brain washed and its never going to get better.
I have nothing to lose here. I changed my screen name I have been here before. Ashamed to come back I always say I going to stop I do for a little while amd can't stand the withdrawl when I say I haven't gone three days I have but just not with my doc.maybe ill take a tylenol 3 that day. I feel like I'm completely brain washed and its never going to get better.
BB - Welcome and don't be ashamed - you have done nothing wrong.
Many of us in chronic pain got started like this and when you take opiates it is inevitable that you become physically dependent on them. Once that happens fear of getting off, fear of being in pain, the habit of reaching for a pill all these things kick the mental part into high gear.
I'm just like you. I was taking as prescribed 4-6 10/350 Hydros per day. I had gotten myself down to 4 in the last few months but I knew because I would eagleeye the clock waiting for my next dose, I would panic if I left home without them. It had defintiely moved beyond physical dependence without me really even knowing it.
So here I am 60 days later and so happy to be off. I wasn't easy, detoxing was no fun but it can be done. I'll be here to support you as will others but most of all STOP beating yourself up - it is counterproductive.
I tapered myself down until I hit 1 pill for a few days then I stopped. The fear of withdrawal can be much worse than just dealing with it. So here are some tips: Just tell yourself you have the worst flu ever, IF you did there is nothing you can do but endure it - right?
Get yourself: Immodium (lots of it and take it aggressively to manage the trots), Gatorade, juice and hydrate with lots of water. Get yourself some potassium, magnesium, zinc, SuperB. Bananas for added potassium to help with RLS. Lots of hot showers, every hour if you need to (and your water heater will let you).
Hunker down and endure it. The worst is usually from 2-4 days. On day 4 force yourself up and about, take a short walk to get that blood pumping.
Once you get through the withdrawals then the mental stuff can kick in. I felt pretty lousy for a couple of weeks but could have been functional about day 5. For me I really turned a corner about day 40-45 and started feeling much much better.
My pain levels weren't bad when I initially came off, then they spiked with rebound pain for a few weeks which did pass. I recommend starting to educate yourself about alternate ways to manage your pain because without a plan or a new "go to" method going back to pills is easier. Chronic pain is NO fun. I just started a journal entry with what I'm doing to manage my pain for those who are seeking new outlets also. Click on my name and view any of my journals - hope it helps.
Above all stick around, keep posting. This is a wonderful community of caring people who will offer words of advice, caring support and never judge you. PLEASE stop being ashamed and know there are so many of us. We care. Take care of yourself and treat yourself gently right now.