I was a pill popping junky for 6 years. Goin on 3+ years 100% clean. I'm sorry but I can't in good concision give you the 'words of encouragement' that you're looking for. I won't even give you the 'u can have ur life back' speech because it's obvious you don't want to get clean. Reread what you wrote and tell me i'm wrong. The whole post is one EXCUSE after another. Don't feel too bad though...when i was poppin off 25-30 Norco all day every day I ALWAYS had a good enough reason to pop off. I also had a good enough reason to steal from my family and friends to pay for it, a good enough reason to stop payin bills, good enough reason to destroy relationships, and when the GF who loved me more than anything and stood by me through rehab and 2 relapses started an argument I wasn't about to hear my doped out brain even came up with a good enough reason to cover half her body in bruises for it. If you're looking for motivation feel free to use mine. Lost almost all my friends, my job, and then the only thing in the world i EVER loved...my GF. I lost all those things because I refused to stop making excuses and start taking responsibility. When you lose the only thing that matters to you 2 choices lay ahead. You can either keep goin down the road you're on and eventually you'll probably end up dead, or your life won't be worth living anyway so it's really the same thing. Or you can do what I did. Finish reading this, go take your stash, flush it all, and punish yourself for the misery you're causing yourself and everyone around you with your CHOICE to be a junky by going through 5-7 days of severe withdrawals then never look back. Like I said...3 years clean and haven't thought about gettin doped up since the day I dragged myself off the puke coverd floor I spent about a week layin on cold, sick, and utterly alone suffering through the worst pain I've ever known just like I deserved to after the destruction and pain I had caused. I really hope you, and any other opiate junky reading this, stop making childlike excuses for yourself, act like the grown up you are, then man up and drop that ****
Hi and welcome to the forum~~
I would work on getting rid of the mood altering drugs first. Get used to being clean and then work on the cigarettes. You have to really want this and be willing to do whatever it takes to get and stay clean. What are your plans with the family member you get this from? Have you thought about going to NA or seeing a therapist? You can get your life back. You dont have to be a prisoner to these drugs anymore~~~sara