I'm in hell

[Laura20]

Not feeling good due to fires around me Having asthma issues & bad HA sore throat. Stuck in house & all I can think about is pills .Can someone help me please before I blow my taper?

[GoingToMakeIt]

I am not sure why there are even pills there to think about. If you can, get rid of the temptation and flush them. Or just set your mind against them forever. Taking them is not an option! I did this, but most need the pills gone from their home.

[faith_hope_love]

Hi Laura, I am sorry you are struggling..been there done that and the depression can be the worst at times BUT it does get better and you will get better.  Are you taking anything for the depression like the amino's they mention in the health pages?  Like the 5htp or samE?  I have been off lortabs for a little over 2 months and a couple of weeks ago I started getting depressed and feeling those emotions of "will I alway's feel like this?, am I ever going to be normal?" and then I realized that I needed to start taking the 5htp again so I did, the first and second day I took 2, one in the morning, one in the evening and then from there on out I am taking 1 per day and it is amazing how much this helped and helped almost immediately too.  You can't take the 5htp or samE if you are already on depressants though.  Anyhow, this is my first time back to the forum in a while so not sure if you knew about the amino's but wanted to mention it to you just in case.

I will say a prayer for you shortly.  Don't give up, you can do this and one thing that helped me was remembering that I went 35 years without taking a pill and was just fine.  Your life will return to normal again, it just takes time.  Lyn

[joann1975]

I agree with everyone... if you did give in then what? Your addiction gets worse and worse and worse.... my tolerance was double yours.... and it did not go well when I didn't have enough to get through the days I didn't have that many! I was unbearable, mean and grouchy. You can't stay on them forever and you have come this far....DON'T GO BACK IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!

It does get better....there wouldn't be so many of us here clean if it didn't!

[dominosarah]

read and reread what theeagle just said.  

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Man - clean anything you can find - stay busy and distracted so you dont dwell on another dose ... the user never wins this one....a whole bottle of pills might make a 2 hour difference - and set you back 2 weeks - F*** the pain - it just reminds you that you are still alive and in the game.... you are stronger than a pill - reach down and grab that strength and dump this habit - - - you will feel better and you wont be numb........

[dominosarah]

The pain will still be there no matter what.  The pills will only make it worse.  Can you get out and take a walk or anything?  That always helps me.  Keep talking to us.

[Laura20]

Cleaned bathrooms yest Lol Its just the depression is getting to me. Feels like I will never feel good again. Have'nt been happy in soo long! Just keeps getting worse.Just feel like taking whole bottle of pills! Anything to numb pain!

[worried878]

It wont be easy if u give up girl...think about it...this addiction just gets worse and worse..what if u have trouble getting the pills u need as ur tolerence grows and grows until u need 15 pills a day just to function...and working while u are not feeling weel when u run out and stuff....this cycle just never ends...giving up will not make it easy in the long run...are u taking the amino acids and stuff or an AD?   i am wishing u the strength to be able to do this and stick to ur plan

[dominosarah]

Yes it does get easier.  Stay busy as that helps.  Please dont give up.  You are stronger than those pills.  Your mind is playing games with you.  Dont give in to this.  Hang in there and keep telling yourself you can do this.   keep posting and read.   sara

[Laura20]

Hanging in so far. Crying now. Does this ever get easier? I am so tired of not feeling well. I keep telling myself if I screw up today can always start again tomm but thats just sick thinking.I just have too much time right now. Really doubting I can do this. It would be so easy to give up!

[cathy5841]

think how guilty you will feel if you swallow that pill.  and whats one gonna do anyway.  then think how good you will feel when you dont take it and you beat the addiction.  come on girl you can be strong and get through this.  you know a dang lil pill is not stronger than you......suck it up dig deep and do something to get your mind off the pills....scrub the tub and toilet.....lol

[dominosarah]

Please hang in there.  One more pill wont help.  Dig deep and keep fighting.  You can do this.  We are here for you so keep talking to us.                 sara

[GoingToMakeIt]

Oh and a piece of really dark chocolate, at least 70% cocoa does wonders for cravings and mood.

[worried878]

Girl..wishing u luck..there is a article in the health pages called "Intervention for Cravings" that is really good....just remember the reasons u want to quit..write them down if it would help..taking another pill is really not oing to help things much...cept make u feel like u r weak and cant stick to ur taper...it is 99% mental...gotta stick to ur plan..keep moving forward and try not to move backwards..prayers are with u

[GoingToMakeIt]

Hang in there. I know you feel like they will help, but they really don't help you at all.

[Laura20]

ncalif Maybe if I just take 1 more pill. I guess I'm not that strong. I am ready to give up.

[broknbck]

what part of cal. are you in? is it near Yorbalinda?