Lost the battle

[Nez37]

I've posted a few times recently to say how hard i've been finding it to reduce my morphine. Well today I had to phone my doctor & explain how i've been feeling since I was told to reduce my morphine from 240mg in pills in the morning to 180mg instead. I also take oramorph 20ml & 4 other very strong painkillers every 4 hours. He said to go back onto the 240mg for a week & we'll try to cut down by 30mg instead. I feel like a loser & have suddenly realised how hard its going to be to get off all the strong pills i've been prescribed for the last 5 years. Big respect to anyone whos managed to w/d & stay clean.

[Nez37]

well i haven't been here for a long time but feel i would try again to join a support group. i am still taking very high doses of morphine (150mg in tablets twice a day ) + 20ml oramorph every 4 hours. i also take 2 tramadol twice a day, 2 dihydrocodeine four times a day, 2 paracetamol twice a day, 1 arthrotec twice a day, 1 baclofen four times a day, these are all for severe back pain and i have been taking this amount for about 5 years.i had surgery ( spinal fusion, 2 years ago ), but no better. i also have osteoporosis now and take a calcium tablet ( chewable ) twice a day. on two seperate occassions i have been to the hospital complaining of a worse pain higher up in my back and after mri scans and x-rays i have been told that i have fractured my vertebraes. this has been with no trauma at all and i've been told that with my level of osteoporosis i could easily fracture my back by miss judging or slipping off the kerb as i walk down the road. also i have high blood pressure and take 5mg ramipril tablet once a day. i decided a couple of months ago that i want to get off all this medication and approached my doctor. i was sent to a pain specialist who said that he would support me for an application to go to london and be treated as an in-patient for a 5-7 day detox followed by 4-5 weeks rehabilitation to treat all my problems and help me to continue my life without drugs and be able to cope. i had to go to my doctor who has had to apply to the local council for funding. it has taken 3 months but i finally heard last week that they have approved my funding to go and have the initial appointment in london. i am now worrying about the after effects on my psychological wellbeing. what will i do? every article i read says that morphine has the highest relapse rate of all substances. i'm not being negative but i just dont know what i would do if this happened to me as all my addiction medication is prescribed by my doctor and if i relapse the doctor would not prescribe me anything. well its been good to get back on here and i wait for any comments or advice. hope all are coping and remember " a day at a time "

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

There are several ways to look at your situation.....it would help a great deal to know what your other strong pain meds are for and what they are. And what is the prognosis? That information has the opportunity to change or alter any advice that you might currently receive. And it could change the diagnosis, prognosis, and therapy as indicated.  Morphine is a nasty withdrawal - - but it is doable and isnt even as hard as fentanyl nor as chronologicaly challenging as methadone or sub......Some new schools of thought propose that the total amount of challenges involved with withdrawals is the same within limits with all narcotic drugs...... but the chronology (time / length) may well be different - from an accomplished  oxy user or fentanyl abuser........ the withdrawals are much shorter than many other wd's - - but they are brutal. Ferocity they call it.  Then with someone quiting methadone or sub the withdrawals are not nearly as fierce - - but they make up for it by sticking around for 5 or 6 months of less fierce but "uncomfortable" withdrawals.  I suppose that its similar to band aid removal - - - do you rip the thing off and get it over with? Or do you slowly and painfully remove it a 1/4 inch at a time for hours?  Similar analogy to your situation. It will take those 18 months to detox with the Doc - - - and I am sorry, but you will probably still have those "walking wounded" withdrawals regardless of which method that you plan on employing.......  It depends upon which way that you approach things - - - I would cold turkey the mess and get it done - - - but that depends a lot upon which other conditions that you are medicating for and what the prognosis is for your situation. Quiting narcotics isnt always the answer for everything.  But if you do get into recovery and things you will need to watch hydration very closely...... its a thing that happens with morphine more so than most other narcotic solutions.  If you hit serious dehydration / loose stools : vomiting : alligator skin: things like that- - - you will need to take measures about the hydration and you would need to do it rapidly....... it doesnt really hurt or feel too badly to become unconscious and then die from dehydration related circumstances - - - craziest things that I ever ran into!  I would suggest having the Doc show you how to check for dehydration - - its easy and it never hurts to know one more thing about health care............

[Nez37]

Thanks for the wise words. I've been told that it's going to take about 18months to 2 years to get completely clean & to think i'll feel like that for that length of time is a worry. I was sweating, not sleeping or eating, ratty & moody, sick, headaches & generally not very good. Maybe a 5 day detox would be a better way.

[Jen629]

oh my, you are on very strong meds, take it slow.

[desperatetostop]

I wouldn't say you lost at all...you are a winner my friend! you know you want to get off these pills and you are doing with the assistance of your doctor...THAT is a winning recipe for getting clean!

Congrats to you! I am amazed and like Avisg, I commend you!!!

(((hugs)))

~Amber

[febninthgirl]

Hey u can do this. Taper down slowly. You will get there. listen to your body not your mind

[avisg]

You are really on some strong meds little steps down sounds like a good idea .I commend you so much for trying it does not mean U wont get there either you are just going to need to take smaller steps .