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Making Progess - Day 3
Hi Everyone,
I wanted to come back and give a brief update. I am on day 3 and doing well. I take one 8mg tablet of Suboxone in the morning and it seems to carry me through the day. Lately my focus has been on mending relatationships with family and extended family members. What was so obvious to so many of my loved ones, but not to me, was my personality change and how they saw something different, but I did not detect a thing. After taking time to appologize to them and sharing with them what I am doing to heal, many have said "I thought something was wrong, it just was not the same Mike". Well, I had no idea and thought I was the same guy, just alittle more fun....when actually, it was the other way around...lol. Wow, the things we learn.
Anyway, I'm seeking counseling once a week beginning today and more if necessary. Right now just trying to lay low, working on improving some relationships and getting thigs in order.
I'll touch base soon and give another update.
If anyone out there has come to this site seeking help. You have come to the right place. Take time to chat with some people here and they'll share with you on how to start getting your life back in order. I did that very thing on Friday of last week and within 5 days, I am 3 days off of taking 300mg of hydrocodone a day. smiling with my wife and looking forward to a much brighter future. If I can help anyone with questons, please look up my profile and email. I'll be happy to help if I can.
talk with you again soon.
Mike With Family
I wanted to come back and give a brief update. I am on day 3 and doing well. I take one 8mg tablet of Suboxone in the morning and it seems to carry me through the day. Lately my focus has been on mending relatationships with family and extended family members. What was so obvious to so many of my loved ones, but not to me, was my personality change and how they saw something different, but I did not detect a thing. After taking time to appologize to them and sharing with them what I am doing to heal, many have said "I thought something was wrong, it just was not the same Mike". Well, I had no idea and thought I was the same guy, just alittle more fun....when actually, it was the other way around...lol. Wow, the things we learn.
Anyway, I'm seeking counseling once a week beginning today and more if necessary. Right now just trying to lay low, working on improving some relationships and getting thigs in order.
I'll touch base soon and give another update.
If anyone out there has come to this site seeking help. You have come to the right place. Take time to chat with some people here and they'll share with you on how to start getting your life back in order. I did that very thing on Friday of last week and within 5 days, I am 3 days off of taking 300mg of hydrocodone a day. smiling with my wife and looking forward to a much brighter future. If I can help anyone with questons, please look up my profile and email. I'll be happy to help if I can.
talk with you again soon.
Mike With Family
Thank you for kind words, they are very encouraging to me and certainly affirms that I am heading in the right direction.
Regarding the Suboxone, I don't know how long. My doctor told me his goal is to get me off it as soon as possible; but it will ultimately be up to me to decide. I have never had to go through this, so not sure what to expect. As of right now, I think it will be for a long time. I am determined never to let this happen to me again. I need to re-develop those positive habits and learn how to be around my family again in a sober state of mind. One of the triggers for me was the contant battling I had with my wife. I do not blame her, and I do not want her to blame herself either. All I want is for both of us to examine how we handle disagreements and develop a more civil method of handling ourselves; instead of the battling of wills and egos. To be totally honest, it seemed all to important to her that she was right. Its like she had/had a phobia of saying, "I'm sorry" or changing her perception on things. Not that I was asking her too everytime because when I was wrong, I admitted it and had no probelm going over to her side and agreeing with her. She is an identical twin; often times, she and her twin discuss things; they also typically like to have the same opinion so that may be one of the hurdles as well; she does not want to change her view because her TWIN sees it opposite of me as well. I guess I sometimes feel like I play second fiddle. But thats my issue to get over......So, to try and shorten the answer...lol - That may take a while to do so as long as we have that issue on the table, I will remain on the Suboxone. One of my other triggers was the stress I always felt with my son; who is ADHD,, and ODD. ODD is Opposition Defiant Disorder...not a fun thing to live with. As difficult as it is for him to live with it, (I hope not to sound selfish), its extremely difficult for us to endure the behavior and deal with a 13 year old that LOVES/LIVES to argue. There are other triggers too, but those are something that shouldn't require me to use Suboxone any longer than these triggers.
Since I'm here, I would love to give another update. I want to surround myself around positive things and people, and hear words of encouragement everyday (because I know I will need it) so I have decided to make this site part of my recovery process; to post an update each day. Its so theraputic for me to share the success that it spawns more motivation in me.
Day 3 went great; except around 5 pm I started having "urges" so (as my doctor told me too) I took 1/2 a Suboxon Tablet and that seemed to help. Today is Day 4 and its around 3:45. At 45 minutes ago, I started to feel an urge so I took another 1/2 tablet. Worries me a bit to experience these, and had me wondering how the next few days are going to play out because these "urges" are coming on a little earlier each day. Oh well, I guess it really does not change anything if you think about it. In the end, I don't want to use again and I found telling myself that seems to help. Oh, by the way, You're not going to believe what came in the mail at my office today...yup. 90 Norco pills. This is an order that I put in a couple of weeks ago and not that I forgot about it, but just thought it was not going to be delivered. Anyway, thats probably why that urge occured earlier than yesterday. Anyway, I immediately called my wife and told her about it, that there were 90 pills in the bottle and that I was bringing them home tonight after work. I also called my doctors office and told his nurse. I figure the more people I tell, the more peeople I will have to answer too if I do something stupid. I have no intention what so ever right now, I just don't know whats going to happen 2 or 3 hours from now...I have never gone through this so telling everyone that should be told seemed like the best thing I could do for myself.
Well, I have great encouragement at home, I also have lots of positive things going on here on the website so I"m doing good. Hope all is going well for everyone else too. If there is anyone out there, who needs some help, I will be happy to help in any way I can. I am new to this, but will be happy to share what I have experienced so far. Perhaps it will help you. I know talking to some a few people last Friday helped me. Anyway, best to you and I'll talk again soon.
mhackett @ grar . com
Mike with Family
Regarding the Suboxone, I don't know how long. My doctor told me his goal is to get me off it as soon as possible; but it will ultimately be up to me to decide. I have never had to go through this, so not sure what to expect. As of right now, I think it will be for a long time. I am determined never to let this happen to me again. I need to re-develop those positive habits and learn how to be around my family again in a sober state of mind. One of the triggers for me was the contant battling I had with my wife. I do not blame her, and I do not want her to blame herself either. All I want is for both of us to examine how we handle disagreements and develop a more civil method of handling ourselves; instead of the battling of wills and egos. To be totally honest, it seemed all to important to her that she was right. Its like she had/had a phobia of saying, "I'm sorry" or changing her perception on things. Not that I was asking her too everytime because when I was wrong, I admitted it and had no probelm going over to her side and agreeing with her. She is an identical twin; often times, she and her twin discuss things; they also typically like to have the same opinion so that may be one of the hurdles as well; she does not want to change her view because her TWIN sees it opposite of me as well. I guess I sometimes feel like I play second fiddle. But thats my issue to get over......So, to try and shorten the answer...lol - That may take a while to do so as long as we have that issue on the table, I will remain on the Suboxone. One of my other triggers was the stress I always felt with my son; who is ADHD,, and ODD. ODD is Opposition Defiant Disorder...not a fun thing to live with. As difficult as it is for him to live with it, (I hope not to sound selfish), its extremely difficult for us to endure the behavior and deal with a 13 year old that LOVES/LIVES to argue. There are other triggers too, but those are something that shouldn't require me to use Suboxone any longer than these triggers.
Since I'm here, I would love to give another update. I want to surround myself around positive things and people, and hear words of encouragement everyday (because I know I will need it) so I have decided to make this site part of my recovery process; to post an update each day. Its so theraputic for me to share the success that it spawns more motivation in me.
Day 3 went great; except around 5 pm I started having "urges" so (as my doctor told me too) I took 1/2 a Suboxon Tablet and that seemed to help. Today is Day 4 and its around 3:45. At 45 minutes ago, I started to feel an urge so I took another 1/2 tablet. Worries me a bit to experience these, and had me wondering how the next few days are going to play out because these "urges" are coming on a little earlier each day. Oh well, I guess it really does not change anything if you think about it. In the end, I don't want to use again and I found telling myself that seems to help. Oh, by the way, You're not going to believe what came in the mail at my office today...yup. 90 Norco pills. This is an order that I put in a couple of weeks ago and not that I forgot about it, but just thought it was not going to be delivered. Anyway, thats probably why that urge occured earlier than yesterday. Anyway, I immediately called my wife and told her about it, that there were 90 pills in the bottle and that I was bringing them home tonight after work. I also called my doctors office and told his nurse. I figure the more people I tell, the more peeople I will have to answer too if I do something stupid. I have no intention what so ever right now, I just don't know whats going to happen 2 or 3 hours from now...I have never gone through this so telling everyone that should be told seemed like the best thing I could do for myself.
Well, I have great encouragement at home, I also have lots of positive things going on here on the website so I"m doing good. Hope all is going well for everyone else too. If there is anyone out there, who needs some help, I will be happy to help in any way I can. I am new to this, but will be happy to share what I have experienced so far. Perhaps it will help you. I know talking to some a few people last Friday helped me. Anyway, best to you and I'll talk again soon.
mhackett @ grar . com
Mike with Family
I'll agree with everyone else! It's really nice to see your progress. It's refreshing to read posts such as yours. Congrats on getting things in order! I bet your family is REALLY glad to have their dad back. I know mine was. If you don't mind me asking.... how long do you intend on using the suboxone and how is it working for you? Again, nice work and keep it up! :)
Trout
Trout
Mike, what a wonderful post!!!
I am so happy to hear about your progress. That is the way to go.
So many folks simply stop and do not work on the problems that caused them to sue in the first place, or they don't work on getting their lives back in order. It causes many a relapse.
You are so on the right track and an inspriration!!!!
I am so happy to hear about your progress. That is the way to go.
So many folks simply stop and do not work on the problems that caused them to sue in the first place, or they don't work on getting their lives back in order. It causes many a relapse.
You are so on the right track and an inspriration!!!!
What a wonderful post. Put a smile on my face. It is funny how you think you are better with the pills, but everyone sees different. I was so surprized at that.
Great for you for mending your relationships. I am still working on it( day 19).
You are so right about this forum too. It has saved me.
Keep up the great work!
Great for you for mending your relationships. I am still working on it( day 19).
You are so right about this forum too. It has saved me.
Keep up the great work!
Hi MIke,
sounds fabulous! Congratulations. I used the same DOC but wasnt up to 300 mg YET. Im sure that is where I'd be in the next few months.
I'm so happy to hear how well you are doing and I hear you on the comments from people close to you once they see the change. I never had any idea I was so bad off with so many things because I never let myself "feel" anything and if I did, I ran for a pill!~
Keep up the good work! I agree about this site. I found it and lurked here for a few weeks before I stopped c/t. (only coz I sucked at tapering) ROFL
Peace.
sounds fabulous! Congratulations. I used the same DOC but wasnt up to 300 mg YET. Im sure that is where I'd be in the next few months.
I'm so happy to hear how well you are doing and I hear you on the comments from people close to you once they see the change. I never had any idea I was so bad off with so many things because I never let myself "feel" anything and if I did, I ran for a pill!~
Keep up the good work! I agree about this site. I found it and lurked here for a few weeks before I stopped c/t. (only coz I sucked at tapering) ROFL
Peace.
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