Me and my family need

[murmac]

This letter is meant to serve three purposes.The first is to allow everyone to understand my feelings about my past, current and ongoing situation in dealing with chronic pain. The second is to provide written documentation to support my request to end my doctor/patient relationship . The final purpose is to request that Dr. P be the primary and only physician to manage my care and prescribe my medications.

I went to see Dr. P without an appointment yesterday as I had run out of narcotics early. The short version of what happened during the appointment is that Dr. P would not prescribe oxycontin for me any longer. He said he would prescribe me enough percocet to wean me off all narcotics in one month. This was done without any consultation with Dr. Po. The idea of this is unbelieveably terrifying for me. I have undergone three back surgeries in the last four years. I have permanent nerve damage resulting in chronic neuropathic pain. I have been asking Dr. P on each visit over the past four months to please increase the dosage of my oxycontin to the dosage I was taking prior to any surgeries. At that point I was taking 140mg twice a day. He has been increasing it by small increments which has still not been enough to cover my pain. This has resulted in me having to go to see him early each month to request more narcotics.  My pain is real. Without adequate narcotics to manage it I would not be able to get out of bed in the mornings. I would not be able to cope with the pain. The thought of it makes me feel incredibly scared. I feel like I've had the rug pulled out from under me. I feel this is a gross mismanagement of my care. I have been on large doses of various narcotics for more than five years now. To be weaned off them in one month is both dangerous and unrealistic. I am barely able to function and cope with my pain on narcotics. I take my meds, I take five to six hot baths a day, I live a sedentary life because the idea of doing anything that would increase my level of pain is simply not an option. Now I'm told that the only thing that gives me any ability to exist, not even live, just exist, is going to be taken away. All I want is to be properly managed and medicated. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with the idea that I will need life long narcotic therapy. I have undergone each surgery with the hope that it would be my salvation. That I would be cured. That I could play with my children without it resulting in me in tears and vomitting from the pain. I am not a junkie. I understand that I am addicted to narcotics but I am not a junkie. I am someone who had life altering work related injuries. My life will never be the same. Is that not punishment enough?

Dr. P made comments to me along the line that he has gotten into "trouble" before for being in this type of situation and that he's not going to put himself in that situation again. I can only assume that Dr. P had a patient in the past who abused his trust in prescribing narcotics. I have never done this. Dr. P and Dr. Po are the only doctors that I go to for meds.  All I am asking for is help. Help from someone who understands chronic pain and how to properly manage it.

Right now what I need is for Dr. Po to manage my care. I want the dorsal column stimulator that I had implanted at the Montreal Neurological Institute removed as it has not provided me with any relief from my pain. This decision in itself has been very difficult and terrifying to make. My surgeries have been hell and the idea of undergoing another is something that I can barely cope with.

When my wife got home from work yesterday I lost it. What had happened at my appointment with Dr. P had come from so far out of left field that I didn't know what to do. My wife and I have been together for ten years. In that time she has never seen me be aggresive or violent. She saw it yesterday. I felt out of control at the idea of having to try to cope with my pain without meds. I don't want to take narcotics. I want my life back. I take narcotics because I have to. I have no ill feelings towards Dr. P but I really feel like I've been hung out to dry.

I have undergone countless therapies for my back, Everything from cortisone injections, epidural injections, physio, meds, surgeries, accupuncture, all with minimal or no relief of my pain. My pain is not merely annoying or uncomfortable. It is all consuming. If I were put in a situation where I was without my meds to manage my pain I would kill myself. My pain has never improved, it has actually gotten worse with each subsequent surgery. I live each day just holding it together. I need help. Properly managed medical help so that I can see my boys grow up. I have so many feelings going through me right now. I'm angry, scared. I have done everything that I have been told to do. Followed every medical recommendation. The only thing that has helped is narcotics or smoking marijuana. If I was able to smoke medical marijuana I might not need narcotics at all.

I am a thirty three year old man who pisses his pants because of lack of bladder control related to my surgeries, pain, nerve damage, etc. Yesterdays appointment with Dr. P has put me and my family in crisis. If I could find an alternative therapy to narcotics that would manage my pain believe me I would do it. I have tried everything.


Respectfully,

[lifesaride]

wow, powerful, you really are having a tough time. well from experience in pain i have taking the suboxone route.i was doing 8) 80 oc's 3 weeks ago friday. on saturday i started the subs. it has some painreliever in it, do a lil investagating, google it and see if its for you, i checked it out for a month before i jumped into it. i'm thinking if i were in your shoes what i would do?........1st id find a real pain management dr. get all your records together and go hunting for a good dr. 2nd if i had extreeme pain now  id go to the hospital now.get a shot of something. 3rd take a deep breath sit with your family and come up with a plan. its hard to think clearly being medicated or in pain.so keep an open mind to sugestions. if there is anything you need just ask. someone here will help. alot of people here have experience same as yours. best wishes to you. Teddy

[malenurse57]

The kind of pain you are descibing I cannot relate to. However there are some other alternitives to pain mgmt. You need to see a specialist in that field and be straight forward honest with them. Narcotics after awhile begin to cause our bodies to lie to us also telling us we are in more pain than we really are, hence more pills, more pills more pain and so on. I am sure you are legitamitley in pain but the question now becomes how much is truly caused by injury and how much from the narcs lying to you?
Good luck and God bless