Detoxing...Day 1

[Digityz]

Hey guys,
Came across this forum and really has been helping me through my min. to min struggle im going through. I again find myself going through this BS... I have been prescribed 40mg OC's back in 2005 for a car accident... This was the downfall of my life. Since then I have been struggling with this addiction, even kicked cold turkey... IN JAIL! Lol Then went right back...

Currently I am on day 1 of detoxing from at least 300mg of OC a day... This is what ive cut it down to at least... I have finally had enough. My friends are all dead or in jail, my family knows im an addict and does not trust me... Rightfully so. My girl left me... Thats prob a good thing ;-) (At least I still got a sense of humor :-P) I decided about a week ago I was done. I am going to document my detox.

About a month ago I was laid off from my job in IT so I fortunately... or unfortunately (to early to tell) do not have much to do right now. Good thing cuz this takes time, bad thing cuz I sit around all day. Anyways...Yesterday my last dose was at 8pm 60OC of OC IR Here is what im armed with: (5) Sub 8MG strips, (6) 2MG xanax, (8) ativan, (10) soma, multivitamins, a whole lot of pepto.

I plan to do 4 day detox using the suboxone to taper today I waited as long as I could... Which was 1:30pm... About an hour after taking the sub, I started to feel a bit better. The profuse sweating stopped and my legs calmed down a bit from the soma. Luckily I am still constipated from the OC so looks like tomorrow should be fun...

I am writing this mainly to get some support from the internet community. I know many ppl have been through my struggle and have made it out to live very successful lives. I have been very successful in my addiction so I can only imagine where I can go with the drugs! Pls feel free to share any experience strength hope or advice you got, cuz lord knows I need it! Ways to keep myself busy without exerting to much energy... U know whatever :-P Thanks for reading... Im out.

[Digityz]

Keep it up brother! We CAN do this, only thing holding us back is ourselves. Keep it positive as possible, and stay as busy as possible I know it ***** but nothing is permanent! This too will pass.

[abmetalman]

Great job! I have a post going as well. I am in day two but was not as deep in or as long but I still can relate. Remember these posts help you but they help other as well. Just reading them helps me; makes me feel if you can do this so can I. Great work keep it going.

[Digityz]

Hey guys sorry I was keeping busy last night! I went and got a 2 hour massage, with all kinds of healing crystals and sage scrubbing... I got to say it made me feel amazing. Its weird but I could actually feel the bad coming out. Wild stuff. I dig it. Anything that can give me relief at this point that is not in pill form I am on board with.

Day 8! Cant believe I have made it this far, still so much to go. My body feels pretty decent, most likely due to the massage :-D, but I still have 0 energy. I need to do some cleaning but im fighting it. Any ideas on natural energy aides? Drum circle tonight. Keeping busy!

[donewitis]

I feel ya!

Keep comin' back,it works if you work it so work it, your worth it.

[Digityz]

I guess when you're trying just to endure battle after battle you forget that there's a damn war, a war to be won. Ya feel me? :-P

[donewitis]

You sound really good, that's great that a friend stayed with you. Keep it up, it will soon be over..and you can get your life back..better yet, start anew.

[Digityz]

Day 6.... My legs hurt. My eyes are watery. My stomach is wrong. Other than that... Not to bad. lol Ive only been able to eat waffles... No butter or syrup... Just waffles. Only thing I can force myself to eat along with my amino acids and vitimans. Im hanging in there and fighting the good fight!

Sleep again was terrible and my friend stayed over to make sure I didnt do anything stupid. She has been such a god send for so many reasons I dont know how I would have got this far if it wasnt for her. She has been thru it all already so she knows just what to do. Anyways dont think she got to much sleep cuz I certainly didnt. I had one valium 10 left and I was hoping it would be enough because the xanax actually makes my restlessness worse until it finally knocks me out.

I just keep telling myself nothing is permanent these feelings will pass this is temporary. They may take forever but hey thats what I get for abusing this ish for the last 6 years! My body is mad at me. My nose hates me. My sinus... Dont get me started. It would feel great to get punched in the face right now... I know right... Im serious. Off the the tub, rocking some Bob Marley today, keep the spirits up and such. Music has been so important in this too.

[Digityz]

Day 5!!! Still not feeling great but I feel great about where im at and how far ive come! I am planning on taking no suboxone today, honestly right now I could prob use it but im going to be strong on this one. As gnarly has pointed out twice subs do come with their own detox as well. Nothing like the full agnostic opiates though. Suboxone is a partial agnostic leaving it a much longer half-life (why it last longer and such) and the naltrexone or however its spelled just blocks any other opi's from hitting your receptors, so even if you wanted to you cant really get high.... Believe it or not this causes a lot of OD's, user does not to try and get the desired effect.... The dope is still doing its thing its just stopped by a bouncer at your brain, so that being said I see both sides of the coin on this one. Ive been on long term sub... I dont recommend it.

Sleeping was horrible last night.... I was feeling really tired so I tried not to take anything, couldnt fall asleep, took a few Tylonal PM, same.... Then I took some soma and finally fell asleep. My legs were super restless, tossing and turning.... You know the drill.

Anyways dont really have much of any plans today...Got to keep myself busy. For now Sublime with Rome and a nice hot shower :-)

[Digityz]

Dude more power to you! I wish the best to you! You CAN do this, the only thing thats holding you back is you!!! Rememeber that. The very best of luck to you man. We are through the worst of it for sure, also keep that in mind!

Rehabs are great but just make sure they dont put u on suboxone or methadone maint man. Then you are just a slave to that... I'll be it much better then doing dope and stuff but still... You will eventually need to detox from that ish then too! Vicious circle.

[nephesh]

Your post has been such a lifesaver! Day 5 for me and it is the worst as I've only got (2) 5mg Valium left. Leaving for rehab tmrow. Dont even know what to expect but Im sooo gonna miss reading your posts. Hope when I come back after 4 weeks that you would be 4 weeks clean and "NORMAL" praying that sanity would return to our minds and healing to our bodies. God bless you man-and super good luck for the rest of the detox and re building your life after all this and yes thumbs up to the one thats giving you all those head massages(she is great)

[gnarly_1]

HI welcome to the forum.....well detoxing off 300+ oxy habit ant going to be pritty .....I would loose the sub the only thing a 4 day detox is going to do is postpone your withdrawals
pick up a case of gatoraid and start forcing the fluids when the symptoms hit a hot soak will help the most get comfortable with the saying...''you just gto to be ok without being ok for a wile'' this is truly a battle one or last in ones own mind....it is 1/3 physical and 2/3 mental be ready to fight on both fronts the one thing you can bring to the table is a positive attitude it willl help more then any single thing it makes the difference between suffering and discomfort this is never any fun for anybody but you can make the best out of it you got to go threw it ether way you may want to pick up some movies for late at night sleep is almost impossible keep us posted on how your doing we all want to see you succeed good luck and God bless.......Gnarly      

[donewitis]

"Anything that can make you this sick when you dont have it is pure evil"

that's exactly what we are dealing with...God help us.

[Digityz]

Well day 4 coming to a close... My eyes are super watery and ive been living in the bathroom most of the day but thats the hell we put our bodies through I guess. This is just a great reminder how bad it actually is for you... Anything that can make you this sick when you dont have it is pure evil.

Havnt took and sub since this morning... I still have a bit left but im trying to take as little as possible so down goes the valium. Im out day 5 here I come.

[cirene]

Dude, you're an inspiration.  I've never seen someone detox with such a positive attitude.  And exercising???  I was bedbound, crying in the fetal position!

Best of luck to you.  Hang in there and hang on!  :-)

[Digityz]

Thats awesome! Keep it going man! It takes changing your life not just not using. I cut out all my friends, changed my #, you got to go full force. Then once the withdrawls are over the real work begins... Crappy I know but we do it to ourselves is the sad truth. Keep fighting the good fight dude cuz as you say it will pass!

[donewitis]

I have been following your posts. I cannot advise but I'm glad you're sticking it out. Like you said, "I can't let it define me." Congrats Day 4!
I continue to say to myself, :"This too shall pass"

[Digityz]

Wow... Day 4.... Stomach pains, diarea, throwing up.... Not a fun morning. Thank god for the herb! I finally smoked a bit which calmed the nausea, and took a bunch of pepto which seems to be helping a bit. I forces down a peice of toast.... I want nothing to do with eating right now. I took about 1MG of sub this morning which is pretty much nothing but it seems to be doing the trick for now. Plan is to do another 1mg tonight, nothing tomorrow then reassess. I have built up a good little support system and am ready to be in the world as a
"normal". Lol I know I know whats normal anyways. Ill tell you normal isnt shooting dope and pills every day.... I will not let that define me.

Music has been my savior! I think it may be my new drug of choice. Trevor Hall is saving my life right now. :-) Updating coming soon.. Keep the comments coming pls.

[Digityz]

I know the subs cause withdrawl too, I am just detoxing myself like any rehab would. Ive kept my taper breif for this simple fact. But heres the thing, it helps me to get acclimated back into not putting things in my nose everyday (also part of the addiction), and also causes me to be just a little bit sick instead of the full blown. I know its a bunch of excuses but look what the options are:

Methadone.... Heck to the no wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy worse withdrawls
Cold Turkey.... Im not strong enough for that...
Suboxone is at this point the lesser evil. Yes it does cause withdrawls but from  my experience they are NOTHING near as bad as oxy, But that is just me. Everyone is different and effected different, thats why there is nothing that is successful for everyone. The most important part you hit right on the head though man, attitude. It is such a mental f***.  

[nephesh]

Sooo true that people that got no addiction problems and never had to go through withdrawal dont understand s***! So irritated , feels like I've become some evil something while detoxing. Also day 4 now and valium supply getting low. Ur right-would be fun when the diarea starts! Thanks for all your updates  and also the support from your side in just letting us know we are not alone. Good luck and true-if u can try just stick to the valium. One more thing , true that it is 2/3  psych  but isnt that exactly the biggest problem cause the mental addiction is indeed far worse than anything and true we are not all equally strong. Not an excuse-just saying if we were we would not have ended up here to begin with.

[gnarly_1]

USEIN sub fro a week will only prolong your withdrawals we have had several members try it and it disent work 3 days after your off the sud the oxy withdrawals hit so pull the plug and get it over with as fare as everything else your doing its fine just stay hydrated lots of hot baths to ez the mussel aches this is all about attitude it is truly a battle one or lost in ones own mind keep in mind this is 1/3 physical 2/3 mental be ready to fight on both fronts
get comfortable with the saying ''' you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile'' you will get threw it but there are no short cuts I have been on this foum close to 2 ys and have seen every thing tryed to beat withdrawals non work there is no get out of jail free card keep posting for support get that sub out of your system and lets get this over with god luck and God bless......Gnarly

[Digityz]

Thank you guys for your words I am diggin this whole concept. Sooooo pretty much I feel like ***.... I felt great after my first post today my friend came over who is a few months clean and gave me an amazing massage.... Amazing. Then I actually ventured out of the house! Went to a friends to go swimming and hot tubbing... Awesome idea. He also had a few more soma and valium for me. Though I did not take to many val's cuz the withdrawl from them is way worse than anything....and it last over 20 days! But I do need to sleep....

Anyways after we got home I started feeling terrible again, leg spazums, sweats, got super hot, So I took 2mg of suboxone and got head message (she is awesome right!) An hour later im feeling better. I find it is sooooooo much easier when you have someone to talk to about it and understands how you feel cuz they have been there. Ppl who have never been through the WD has no idea.

My stomach still feels crappy, prob becuz the sub still has me backed up. I know as soon as I stop the sub the diarea will follow.... yeahhhh. lol All and all I feel really good about where im at... Keep the comments coming guys! Valium kicking in... Im dust,

[Digityz]

Dude I feel your pain man. Here's the thing if you have TRULY and wholeheartedly had enough then you will do what needs to be done. Yours and my families think like that because I dont know about you but I have thought I truly surrendered plenty of times, Flopping like a fish out of water on a prison floor.... I thought I saw the light... And I did for about a year. But I got to comfortable. Addiction IS a disease there unfortunately is no cure for. It takes constant work, honestly (with others but mainly yourself) cut through your own BS man. I know thats my down fall. I can trick myself into thinking snatching up some oxy or dope so quick. Its all about not putting yourself in a situation where it could actually happen, cuz cravings are always going to be there... Always. The opi's change your brain chemistry... Legit.

[nephesh]

You are doing great! Specialy your mental state. I would wanna kill for something now but holding off on taking my next Valium. That and a bit of codien is all I armed myself with. Besides the shakes,the sweats, nerve twitches,cramps and vomiting the headache realy bad.feels like a giant clamp around the head and just goes on and on and on.way worse than any migrain. Tell me honestly, If I have truly decided to stop is rehab gonna help or is it just a way to keep busy and my mind off the drugs? Family feels its a waste of time and I will just relapse but Im losing all and what and whom I got left I must keep. My partner very resentful - understandably -but I must try to save what I can. Also take alot of water, energy drinks to replace the electrolites and something for the liver, with added vitamins. Good luck for tonight man and day 4.

[lululuv995]

weldone man ur doing so good, i hope to be following shortly. I relapsed and now have a habit again, i hate being chained to opies, like being in an invisable self made prison of our own sick creation lol. Feel like i cant live with them and now need help in learning how to live with out them!
Good luck, keep posting will be following ur progress, and will keep journal of my own when i start detox.