Methadone Withdrawal at home 10mg started!

[BamaIndian]

I want to start off saying "Hello!". I've spent the last 72 hours reading this website. I've combed through countless threads (old & new), looking to see if my topic has been covered or answered. Either I haven't found it or it's never been posted.

It's taking a lot of guts for me to be honest, I mean - a lot. No one knows I'm on methadone. I have self medicated from a recovery off of pain pills. The semantics of how many pills, what kind - these no longer matter as methadone is what I'm dealing with. Of course, hindsight is that I should have toughed / braved the withdrawl from pills but, I was not ready to make the mental recovery. I am now.

I self medicated myself at 10mgs (wafer) in the AM, every day for 1 year. I'm done. I've moved to another state and again, no one knows. I have zero plans to get into the system here. We all have things we could lose so I won't go into some tirade how I'm more special than others. I'm not. We are all equal here. Regardless, my choice is a home detox. There is no chance for subs or bus. This is it folks.

I took my last 10mg wafer on Weds. It's now edging on Friday AM. I slept great of course Weds night, although I have strep and I'm not feeling over all great. I doubt I have symptoms of W/D now although I do hurt all over (like a body flu) and I'm having the shivers and chills. Again, it could be the flu but I've felt W/D before. I feel "gritty" all over and just achy. I didn't have this with my sore throat. I also am starting to feel "out of body". Nothing alarming. Nothing that's upsetting, if anything it's a relief in a sense because if I'm headed for anything I've read- I know these hours or this day is a precious rarity. I'm also due to get my monthly (Oh, I'm female) so that should add in a decent amount of pain. I swear, I picked the WORST time to cut myself off. Oh well. Is there ever a perfect time in ones life? Hardly.

Since I became sick 3 days before detoxing, it's already in the mindset of family that I'm "ill". I should be able to pass this one off. I work at home, although I'm a single mother. The kids are in school all day (and self sufficient too), I have nothing planned till next week (and it's nothing I can't cancel if need be.). What I didn't find much of an answer to, and while I know that you can't predict how bad it will be ; how bad is this going to be? ;)  Here's my "health" background.

33. No diseases, illness to report (other than being sick at the throat).  110 lbs, 5 ft 7

No depression other than general laziness from methadone. Wait, did anyone else become highly agitated while on it and anti social? Good god! Anyway..

Single (no one at home other than kids.)

work from home.

NO INSURANCE.

Here's my detox

As of right this second, I'm around 36 hours sober.

I was on 10mgs wafter of methadone (NOTHING ELSE)

I have no xanax etc here and personally I won't take it.

Going through this withdrawal I will only have my inner strength, imodium, Tylenol PM and vitamins. I've taken my vitamins, cut out red meat but ate well (I do anyway these days). I have bad back cramps from my period so that should be expected.

I feel:

1. Cold toes but warm hands and body

2. Constant chills

3. body aches (like the flu starting)

4.Oily in the face and skin (I've already taken a shower)

5. No hunger

I know that the average "kick in" time for w/d is 5 days. Is that expected too because of the 10mgs / 1 year?  As far as pain is concerned, I've read it's more depression and upset (plus body aches). Is this true? I found it so hard to find answers that would be near mine, everyone that I had read had the option of sub's, bus or began taking xanax etc/ heroin and I don't / won't have those options. This is it. I have the mentality of being "done" and while comfort meds are a god send, they aren't an option. The most I would accept would be something for anxiety as I'm prone to it and blood pressure meds. Again, neither are even close to optional. I don't have the reserve (funds) nor insurance at the moment. I just relocated and this is seriously it. How long will I be ready to rip out my hair? I don't have vital things to do but I'm staying busy and keep up with the house work while I can. I'm active as a parent so my days of being in bed or in a shower for long periods are rather limited. I did work out today (again, trying to get in while I can) and did some minor work.

Any advice, help or kind words are so badly needed. I've never told anyone other than my done suplier about this. It's very private for me and I want to come to terms with it too, not just w/d and bury the issue. I know what made me an addict and I will fight this temptation as long as I live. I'm not blind to this fact. My goal is to not waste anymore time or stall time I should say. I did live while on methadone and I did work on me. Everything is in the right place. I want to meet people now. I want to meet someone. I didn't want to do those things before, mostly because this issue is private and I didn't want to pull someone in on this. They wouldn't get "me" they would get a very hurt woman who's being dishonest. That isn't fair.

Just losing one dose has made my mood much more "even" and I'm definitely nicer. I don't feel good (being sick and w/d fear) but I'm not confused feeling or even preoccupied. It's nice although I'd like to feel together not w/d + sick with strep.

Okay, that's it. That's my novel. I'll check this frequently while I detox. I chose to sign up not just for selfish reasons but also so this thread will exist. If anyone ever is in my place, this will exist. They aren't alone.

[petroglyph54]

The first part that looked like a question to me was " is it true about the pain being mostly depression, plus body aches. I don't know why but I never was depressed? The pain part, I used methadone, up to 80mg's a day for pain before being switched to oxy. So my pain part was not just in the spine, but entire body. I was also on a much higher dose. It seems to me that you have your mind in a very good place to get this done. Drink lots of fluids to help flush the toxins out of you. Also, on the wd part, I think you'll be mostly over the tough detoxing by day 5. By then you'll definately notice some improvement. Can I ask why you were medicating with methadone? Just for fun, or pain management or to quit something else. My question is, you're just dealing with the methadone 10mg, for one year, not coming off something else with the methadone? Keep posting and good luck

[gnarly_1]

HI.....WELL 10MG of methadone is higher then I like to see people jump from but it is doable
your symptoms are typical and will last a 7day week and some will gointo 2 weeks the biggy with methadone is the inability to sleep and then the energy crash....post withdrawal is harder then the actual physical withdrawal it can take a wile to feel better exercise will help you probably dont feel like getting up off the couch but force yourself....get up to walmart and pick up some whey protein shake mix....it comes in 2lb cans and is loaded with amino acids vitamins as well as the protein all of witcch the brain needs to heal the chocolate flavor is good its 15 bucksa can you just mix it with milk drink 2 a day it will speed your recovery as for sleep the sleepytime tea seamed to work the best for me just a cup 1/2 b/4 bed....expect some sleepless nights ...sleep is always the last thing to return hot baths help with the aches and pains
keep posting for support I went threw a methadone detox....I was on 150mg and tapered my way down...all I remember about it was it being miserable hang in there good luck and God bless.....Gnarly  

[t_nuh_had_nuf]

Congrats on getting off that stuff...I was on it for 5yrs  up to 100mgs a day. tapered down to about 10 mg then stopped without any other drugs for help. almost 8 wks clean. IT can be done.  Listen to GNARLY he knows his stuff. Protein shakes, bananas, bathes. Sounds like you are really ready to do this. Keep posting, many are here to encourage and help. GOOD luck. TEENA

[t_nuh_had_nuf]

oh.. i forgot to mention. I stopped right before my monthly too! It was not the best time to stop but it had to end sometime. Goodluck

[BamaIndian]

@Petro , all your questions are answered in my original post :)  To everyone else, thank you. I know it's not recommended at 10mgs to go CT but, again - I had no choice. It's a bit late now so here we are. I'm vegan so there's tons of protein shakes and supplements here. I am taking care of myself in the best way possible. At least under the circumstances.

I went to bed last night and all was fine till an hour later. I woke up with a racing heart. It felt euphoric. A very happy adrenaline high then this strange pain around my left kidney that would hit then go away. I say strange because it came from no where and went away. I had the chills at an intense level (not comfortable) and suddenly a cramping stomach. I started focusing on numbers. As strange as it sounds, I just began counting backwards from 80. I visualized the numbers coming towards me and then away. I fell back asleep around the number 60. I would wake up here and there but I slept solid and deep. Of course I'm just now at 48+ hours (maybe 50). From my understanding it's not even peaking yet. All I can hope is that those strange pains that flirted with me in the middle of the night, that they aren't what I'll be dealing with. I feel zapped of energy, dirty and sweat did get into my eye. It stings like hell (and I have no idea why.). I do feel better from my sore throat so that's a relief. I could NOT handle (but I'd have to) the racing heart and that pain. I felt like I could vibrate off my bed! I've had children and back pain was what i dealt with in delivery. No fun! I've slept most of the day whether I wanted to or not .I have nothing of importance to do and I rather get rest in while I can. I forced myself asleep last night around 11pm and back to sleep after I woke up. The dreams are amazing to say the least.

I'll post later tonight but I feel rather euphoric with a headache that I'm managing through IB. PS I get those headaches terribly bad and treat them with caffeine. Obviously that's not the best thing right now. Oh, my eyes are watering like crazy too.

[BamaIndian]

Oh I did mean to formally ask, when does the withdrawal symptoms start? I know I'm having some but I read everywhere that it's not the real deal till 5 days!

[BamaIndian]

I am on day 3 and ended up in the er. I couldn't stop moving my legs and the anxiety was insane. I didn't get much sleep either. The er dr was not only understanding but he hugged me and congratulated me then said he wished he could treat me because I can do it and he'd like to help see me there as encourg

[BamaIndian]

Sorry im on my iPhone and pressed enter. I was given ambien, buspar and clondine

[gnarly_1]

HI  te next few days will be a little ruff....the energy crash can be debilitating in it self it hangs around a wile for some a month...I delt with it for 3 mo ....the meds the doctor gave you will help some try some highlands restful legs you canget it at walmart and its homeopathic so you cant O/D on it.....a good hot soak is still the best treatment for methadone withdrawals....look up the amino acid protacal on the lower right of the screen under the health pages ....im suprized your sleeping at all the clondine helps with that as well as the creepy crawly feelings
it tuff to know how long this is going to last methadone recovery is notoriously slow hang in there if you believe in God pray it helps keep posting for support I know exactly what it feel like to be where your at and it su cks good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[BamaIndian]

Gnarly thank you! I feel like a stone today, just dead weight. The clodine is awesome but I'm not sleeping. I'll get 10 min but that's it. The ambien did nothing at all :( I'm at day 4! I just want to get to day 5. I'm fixated on it. Does it get better at day 5? I'm confused because I read that, that's when it hits!

[bigz2011]

well done your doing well f*** the system. They forget to tell us that these prescribed medicines are just as bad and try control you so good your detox.

if you have the strength find a natural food shop that sells supplements. You can get some valerian tea. helps to keep you calm and sleep. combine that with sleeping tablets but consult with shop assistant which sleeping aid tablets can combine.

for muscular pain get some glucosamine gel or equivalent which you can rub over your body after warm bath to help with muscle pain. Combine this with pills to be taken once a day with food which are fever few tablets.

lastly get something for stomach upset.

remember to drink plenty of fluids. i agree not the best time as your pmt cycle is soon. However the power is in the moment . Keep it up. Try for natural products as they work wonders my girlfriend also detoxe from methhadone. Go for a 10 min walk, warm baths. Try stay busy.

It will be worth it good luck

[BamaIndian]

7 days! I feel better. I slept 4.5 hours and had a nap prior to that. Ambien doesn't work still but last night I felt calm after taking it and Ive also tapered down the buspar and clodine too. I woke up around 4am and just began my day. I got dressed (in sweats lol) but for 6 days I've been in tank tops and shorts, I was burning up. I have the heat on now, it's 40 outside so apparently I'm adjusting. I've not taken my clodine today. I'm going to wait it out till I need it. It makes me feel so heavy! I weight 105 lbs and I swear it makes me feel 1 ton! My back hurts but I assume that's from laying and twisting for 6 days. I've not had any energy to even walk past the bathroom. Just showering left me winded and I don't smoke, and I was (until detox) rather active.

So, conclusion. 6 days of moderate hell. Days 2-4 the WORST but I ended up in the ER due to agitation. Get your meds up front, be honest with your DR and you can do this. Seriously, you don't need the ER if you have a DR. I didn't get the barfs and only had the runs 3x's, which didn't hit till day 5. I was only sleeping at most 30 minutes a day. Sleep is the worst because you are so worn out. I've been up 4.5 hours and I'm worn out now but if I force myself to move (you have to physically force yourself) I'll catch a brief second wind.

I showered 3x's a day. It made me do something but I've not had "pain" honestly. Just really anxious and the stupid cold/hot flashes and insomnia. Clodine saved me, big time. Without a doubt I would have been in the psych ward had I not caved and went to the ER for it. Seriously people, I can't stress it enough. No restless leg, you feel calm and while you won't have energy - in hindsight, it was a great trade off.

I'm not out of the woods at all but the fact that I have clothing on, I have been up and playing with the dog - cleaning the house (slowly) and had the kids up and going = BIG difference from 2 days ago.

Yep, I raised 2 kids without any help during my entire detox people. No support group minus this, as I told no one. I didn't push myself but there were 3 solid days I was so miserable and so upset that I couldn't make sure dinner was ready or the cat box cleaned. When you have 2 kids you can't just "let it go". I managed a system and so far it worked. Appetite started back yesterday but I have a feeling I'll eat something real today. I ate 4 bites of ramen and a box of nila wafers yesterday :) LOADS of popsicles. Sugar + water = some hydration and energy boost I needed it. I'm without coffee for 7 days too and that's a big deal for me. I was a heavy coffee drinker.

I also began detox during strep throat (the worst case ever, in my life) but my period is MIA. I assume this is all due to the detox (no way I could be pregnant). I made the 7 day slump. It was long! But in actuality it was 4-5 days since the half life of Methadone keeps you pretty sane for 36 - 48 hours. Oh and get this, I thought I jumped at 10mgs I jumped at 22mgs.

[t_nuh_had_nuf]

Congrats.. You doing it!!! Sleep is overrated anyway!lol. im 8 wks off methadone and still not sleeping right. It takes time. GOOD LUCK Teena

[BamaIndian]

I managed to vaccum the floors, disinfect the tile in the kitchen and dust. I didn't lose energy and had to fix the vaccum too. I'm freezing though and I'm pretty sure it's not the house, it's me. I just took a clodine and 1/2 of a buspar. My feet are SO cold. After 6 hours I'm and the heat at 80, I think it's safe to say my blood pressure is all kinds of messed up still. I had this issue for years so it's nothing alarming. Clodine is annoying (although totally beneficial) as it makes me so freaking lifeless and I can barely stand up :( I'm only taking .1 mg at this point although I'm following the schedule as per Dr's orders so today i should be at 2 a day (the most on day 3,4). I'm very emotional (crying but happy) and feeling the guilt. I know it's all part of the process so I'm not over analyzing the situation. When I'm able bodied, I will be attending therapy.

So, the house is clean - I'm going to finally wash this hair. I couldn't since day 2, it's too long and it being wet bothered me. Now I'm eager for 2 weeks!

Thank you everyone for your well wishes and to those doing this too, keep it up!! I'll post as often as I can. When I was researching I couldn't find the info I needed, I hope this provides something.

[t_nuh_had_nuf]

when i was on methadone i stayed hot- sweated all the time. since detoxing-I'm cold always- many say they have cold feet too. good goin on the cleaning and the washing of the hair-got to feel better huh. Take it easy don't over do.and don't be surprised if this energy is not there tomorrow. It comes and goes for a while. Crying is completely natural. Music has helped be so much. try it! TEENA

[gnarly_1]

HI coming off methadone can be pritty ruff......it is very cyclic you get lots of ups and downs
hang in there you will go threw stages of withdrawal the crying is normal im a dude and cryed like a baby at anything sad....the energy thing is not as much from the clondine but part of the methadone withdrawal  depending on how long and how hi a dose will determine how long it will last ....get to walmart and pick up some stuff called whey protein shake mix its loaded with essential amino acids as well as vitamins and protein ....all of witch the brain needs to heal the chocolate flavor is good drink 2 a day,.....I only wish I had found out about it sooner...it no quick cure but it gives you the building blocks to heal other then that its up to God and time
hang in there good luck and God bless........Gnarly  

[BamaIndian]

Im taking vitamins but I just moved here from NYC and do not have a car (didn't need one there). I'm purchasing one though as soon as I don't feel like poo. I've been up since 4am. I did color my hair (washed it), ran out of hot water though grrr. I cannot nap, my back is killing me. This is the first time I've had severe back pain. Now, I do notice when I take clodine it goes away- why? It's strange.

T, I had super cold feet the entire time I used opiates. Poor circulation *****. My feet are physically hurting from being so cold. I over did it today but I don't regret it because I was so sick of doing nothing. It was great for my headspace. Also again, music saves. Bowie/Sonic Youth/ Placebo constantly. Plus chatting with friends (who have no idea, they just think I'm really sick) keeps me happy. I'm looking forward to traveling back to NYC in 2 weeks and such. I should be "travel stable" by May 20th right?

[t_nuh_had_nuf]

You should be physically ok by the 20th. Be careful going back to places. if you were using in NYC it might be a hard mental trigger. Just watch it and stay determined.  As soon as you can get it I really would use the protein powder- the amino acids help your brain heal. I have been taking since day 2 and thought i could stop 4 days ago and I really felt worse so I'm back on them. -- Ya went -from NYC to IND- what a change! TEENA

[BamaIndian]

Thanks Teena. Yes it's a change (I hate it). I'm from here and have family there. I was living in both NYC/Chicago for the last 14 years though. Chicago is where I used, I hate that place. NY was salvation to me. I'm busy, happy and on the go. Chicago was upsetting (no idea really why). I have no need or want to use. Even in the throws of pain right now, I don't care. I'm rather stubborn and sometimes (like now) it works well for me. I still have my apt in NYC and someone I just recently began seeing (sober, I've never dated an addict), I'm ready to go HOME. I'm bored in Indiana and I've only been here exactly 1 month. It feels like a detox center to me at this point.

Last night, no rest. Well, 2.5 hours on 20mgs of ambien. I flushed my ambien today. I'm done. It doesn't work, it doesn't shut my brain off - it makes me feel even worse because I don't sleep enough and I'm scared I'll have some sort of break down and down the bottle (in some attempt to sleep) Okay I don't think I would but I'm that delirious it could happen. I rather just not worry about it. My turning point and thinking I could do something stupid while on ambien, was waking up this AM at 1 and finding cookie doh and feeling confused on where I was. I didn't think I lived here. I was that messed up on ambien.

I did try tylenol pm and it throws me into day 3 withdrawals. Anyone else experience this? Second time its happened, so I'm convinced it's the properties in tylenol PM. I honestly feel like day 3 again. My back is KILLING me (but I got my period last night) and I have the hot flashes, which had subsided.

I'm on day 8, it feels like a controlled day 3 and I want to spazz out. I''m uncomfortable, I'm exhausted and everything is driving me crazy! My eyes won't stay open (i'm that tired) so I talk with them shut. I was doing great, I knew it wouldn't last but I didn't expect to feel THIS bad. I have no idea how people on more than a year of methadone who c/t cope. I don't. Maybe not having kids or a house to deal with is easier, I don't know.

Also I smell awful. I'm showering constantly and I reek! It's a sweet gross smell. I know it's the detox but it's gag worthy (to myself).  

[t_nuh_had_nuf]

It should be good to get to NY. It is very hard to do anything when you are not sleeping. Try to take small naps if ya can even 15min will help. This no sleep thing could linger for a while. Tylenol PM never worked for me. I know it is hard but you are STRONG enough to do this. Single mom strong! Have you soaked in a w/epsom salts? It is good for aches and also helps detox through skin- may help w/stank. You are doing great. Hang in there.. TEENA

[BamaIndian]

I can't seem to feel good. I have bone pain now (upper back). I did nap for 10 minutes but I can't seem to turn off my brain. It runs and runs then the heart racing begins. I need to shower and I feel like lead. I smell so bad I can't stand to sit here but I can't think to move. Worst day since day 3 or 5

[t_nuh_had_nuf]

Sorry you are having a bad day. Have you tried a hot soak? I spent my first 9 days in the tub soaking- several times a day. My pain was bad through day 9 also. I hope you are able to get some relief. TEENA

[gnarly_1]

Hi   hang in there jumping off over 20mg is ruff ...you'll make it but methadone symptoms come in waves just when you think its getting better you get slamed again the energy crash is normal it can take a wile for it to go a away your doing good so early on it take a good 2 weeks for this stuff to run its course coming off 20+ keep posting for support where out here for you and we all want to see you succeed........Gnarly

[BamaIndian]

I'm at day 9, so Gnarly I'm almost at 2 weeks (thank GOD). Isn't it 1milg = 1 day? I didn't get much sleep but I didn't take any sleep meds, I don't feel so lethargic but I am exhausted. I'm going to start tapering the Clodine today. I have a feeling it's too much now. I think 1 pill, cut in half and every 12 hours = good. I haven't taken buspar in 24 hours. It made me feel really horrible after day 6. I am soaking a lot because of the bone pain and taking 1000 mgs of tylenol every 6 hours. I have to otherwise I'm freaking out and climbing the walls.

I had a maid come in and clean today, I couldn't take it. Well worth the 40.00. I highly recommend it. I just told the service I had surgery and I stayed in bed. No one was any the wiser.

I did have heroin like withdrawals during my short 3 hours of rest. Out of nowhere and managed with clodine immediately. What I mean by this is that I was chills/sweating/kicking and hurting. Totally weird.

I'm still plagued with feeling feverish all the time, or too cold. I could handle that if I could SLEEP.

I'm a broken record about that but I'm sure you understand why. I'm getting "fuzzy" in the head now.

Symptoms check list:

1. No "runs" to report. Had them 3x's that's it. I believe my diet has a lot to do with this.

2. Still having chills/ fever/ anxiety but managed by clodine

3. No sleep :( No matter how exhausted it doesn't come to me.

4. Euphoria and desire have been back since 36 hours in.

5. Crying fits but they are short bursts

6. No depression just a want to go outside

7. I've been able to eat since day 5. Nothing huge but I am eating.

8. Bone pain managed by tylenol extra strength 2 pills every 4-6 hours.

No slip ups, no desire just a NEED to get this over with lol