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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

My adictions and problems.

Well i am new here and i have been searching for somewhere like this for a while. Since the age of 5 i have been bullied because i was shyer and quiet. This has lead to a few problems.
I am spiritualist meaning i have a lot of mineral crystals round my room. Resently i have started sucking on them. I will suck amythist's to green agate. It sort of comforts me and i tend to suck them for over 7 hours waking time in my room. I get headaches and stomach aches while sucking them. I have accdently swallowed some and chewed on them till they break but i don't like swallowing them so i spit out all i can.

I also have a total addiction to many types of self harm. It can be not eating or the cutting with anything sharp i can find. I don't have a fear of death and i don't exactly welcome it. I will cut myself only at night i even have at 3am.
I will have banged my head agenst a wall.

I suffer from depression where i will go into a total low for a whole night or up to a month. This has triggers from bulling or just a random small thing.

Also i suffer from paranoia and will hardly leave a light off if my eyes are not shut and i know there is nothing in my room.
I am also loosing what i think its my memory leading to lower grades and more depression. most say this is due to my dyslexia but i dont think it is.


Please someone help me.
I dont know what to do.
I am scared of myself.
What do i do?


11 Responses
Avatar universal
You are welcome to send me a message. Im not very familiar with your problems, but i would ve open to talking. Sometimes that can help tons.
Avatar universal
Thank you very much. It would help alot
Avatar universal
Sweetheart, my heart breaks for you. I know how difficult it must have been for you to find the courage to post here. Is there anyone you can think of to confide in? I know you are in a lot of pain and I wish I could just reach through the web and hug you. My daughter had a friend who cut herself and she explained that it was to feel something physical and real. I just want you to know that there are people who do care about you. I care. Please, if there is anyone you can think of to confide in, please do it. I am thinking of you and praying for you, hun. I wish there were something I could do to help and hopefully someone with more knowledge will reach out to you.

I am thinking of and praying for you, Sweetie.
Avatar universal
I would confide in the boy i have a crush on but its a long distance relationship if we went out and i am scared he would not like me no more if i told him.
2119804 tn?1334864646
Is there a local community mental health organization where you might seek help? I'm almost 50, and I am a gay male. I am fine and confident now, but when I was your age I was terrified of myself and just different enough to attract a lot of bullying. I know how small it can make you feel. Even as an adult some times something will happen and I can almost remember how horrible that time was and I wonder how I lived with those feelings daily?

The first help I got was when a clergyman told me I was okay and it was okay to love myself. I hope you know that we are all imperfect - part of being human - and all deserve to love ourselves and be loved by others. Claim that for yourself now and don't let any bully drag you down.

I have no experience with self-harm but just the thought of what you explained scares me. I want you to be well and live a whole life. A compassionate counselor, whether it be a guidance counselor at school, a family doctor, a clergy person (and I am not saying it has to be a Christian), etc, can help you find the right avenue to address your issues.

I hope you get a lot of support here and that there will be someone to help. Peace...
Avatar universal
Hi there!  Do you have a good relationship with your parents, a teacher,mother of a girlfriend?  I think it's important for you to speak with one of these people. In other words, an adult.  The forum is wonderful but in this case you need a bit more. I'm sure you agree.

You know this is not good and very unhealthy for you. You need to get to the reason why sucking on minerals and cutting brings you comfort. There's so much help for this problem but you need to tell someone who is close to you.

Stay in touch with us...
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495284 tn?1333897642
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phoenix, AZ
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