Avatar universal

My adictions and problems.

Well i am new here and i have been searching for somewhere like this for a while. Since the age of 5 i have been bullied because i was shyer and quiet. This has lead to a few problems.
I am spiritualist meaning i have a lot of mineral crystals round my room. Resently i have started sucking on them. I will suck amythist's to green agate. It sort of comforts me and i tend to suck them for over 7 hours waking time in my room. I get headaches and stomach aches while sucking them. I have accdently swallowed some and chewed on them till they break but i don't like swallowing them so i spit out all i can.

I also have a total addiction to many types of self harm. It can be not eating or the cutting with anything sharp i can find. I don't have a fear of death and i don't exactly welcome it. I will cut myself only at night i even have at 3am.
I will have banged my head agenst a wall.

I suffer from depression where i will go into a total low for a whole night or up to a month. This has triggers from bulling or just a random small thing.

Also i suffer from paranoia and will hardly leave a light off if my eyes are not shut and i know there is nothing in my room.
I am also loosing what i think its my memory leading to lower grades and more depression. most say this is due to my dyslexia but i dont think it is.

Please someone help me.
I dont know what to do.
I am scared of myself.
What do i do?

11 Responses
Avatar universal
You are welcome to send me a message. Im not very familiar with your problems, but i would ve open to talking. Sometimes that can help tons.
Avatar universal
Thank you very much. It would help alot
Avatar universal
Sweetheart, my heart breaks for you. I know how difficult it must have been for you to find the courage to post here. Is there anyone you can think of to confide in? I know you are in a lot of pain and I wish I could just reach through the web and hug you. My daughter had a friend who cut herself and she explained that it was to feel something physical and real. I just want you to know that there are people who do care about you. I care. Please, if there is anyone you can think of to confide in, please do it. I am thinking of you and praying for you, hun. I wish there were something I could do to help and hopefully someone with more knowledge will reach out to you.

I am thinking of and praying for you, Sweetie.
Avatar universal
I would confide in the boy i have a crush on but its a long distance relationship if we went out and i am scared he would not like me no more if i told him.
2119804 tn?1334861046
Is there a local community mental health organization where you might seek help? I'm almost 50, and I am a gay male. I am fine and confident now, but when I was your age I was terrified of myself and just different enough to attract a lot of bullying. I know how small it can make you feel. Even as an adult some times something will happen and I can almost remember how horrible that time was and I wonder how I lived with those feelings daily?

The first help I got was when a clergyman told me I was okay and it was okay to love myself. I hope you know that we are all imperfect - part of being human - and all deserve to love ourselves and be loved by others. Claim that for yourself now and don't let any bully drag you down.

I have no experience with self-harm but just the thought of what you explained scares me. I want you to be well and live a whole life. A compassionate counselor, whether it be a guidance counselor at school, a family doctor, a clergy person (and I am not saying it has to be a Christian), etc, can help you find the right avenue to address your issues.

I hope you get a lot of support here and that there will be someone to help. Peace...
Avatar universal
Hi there!  Do you have a good relationship with your parents, a teacher,mother of a girlfriend?  I think it's important for you to speak with one of these people. In other words, an adult.  The forum is wonderful but in this case you need a bit more. I'm sure you agree.

You know this is not good and very unhealthy for you. You need to get to the reason why sucking on minerals and cutting brings you comfort. There's so much help for this problem but you need to tell someone who is close to you.

Stay in touch with us...
Avatar universal
i am female and bi sexual but at the moment i prefere to go with males.
i am scared to go anywhere because i am scared of my mum and to tell her. i do have like a spiritual building i can go to tommrow
1801781 tn?1461629469
Horseyqueen, have you ever been anemic (low iron)??  You may have something called Pica.  There are other reasons but that is one for girls and women.  

Nutritional deficiencies

    Although no firm empirical data support any of the nutritional deficiency etiologic hypotheses, deficiencies in iron, calcium, zinc, and other nutrients (eg, thiamine, niacin, vitamins C and D) have been associated with pica.

Here is an info page:   http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002505/

You need to get help with this if that is what it is.  Please talk to someone that you trust to get help.  
Avatar universal
i dont know but the only metals i chew on are knives and weapons.
2030769 tn?1343647674
Hi, I just wanted to tell you I think you are really strong to share your story with us and I will be praying for you to find the support and love that you deserve in your life.  You don't have to deal with this alone & I really hope you decide to tell someone who you can trust.  Maybe you can start journaling when you start getting the urge to cut yourself or eat the crystals. Sometimes just getting the thoughts out of our heads really helps.  This website even has a section on your profile to write.  I had a very difficult time growing up too, and writing letters to God really helped me. Good luck, you sound like a really sweet person and I hate to hear you going through so much pain..
1801781 tn?1461629469
PIca means you chew/eat things that are not food!
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