My son is an addict

[ScaredMom17]

Hello, ScaredMom17 here.   I just found out a few days ago that my 23 year old son is addicted to Klonopin, first started out with Vicodin, a friend gave it to him for free once he was hooked, he started charging him, then he got into this klonopin somehow and is buying it from a hardcore drug dealer....I am so devastated this has totally altered his personality.  He says it makes him feel "smart" taking and abusing this drug.  I've read about the withdrawl symptoms, I'm so afraid for him.  He says he won't go to rehab, I don't know how to help him.  He lives with me, along with his girlfriend and 16mo old daughter.  I also found out that he stole jewelery out of my bedroom and took it to a pawn shop, I confronted him, he denies it, I cried, pleaded with him to get it back, he still denies he knows anything about it.  He is a habitual liar, even when he doesn't have to cover anything up, he still lies.  I have seen him be in a rage and a few seconds later, very calm.  He is in a downward spiral, I don't know what to do....any suggestions????  Thanks!!!     Thanks Joann, I'm really lame when it comes to this posting/forum stuff...... Reported Report this Spam
Abuse

[Ricksma]

Oh boy this sounds so familiar.....I too have a 23 year old son  with drug addiction (heroin). He is detoxing as we speak. He is in a room right now tossing and turning crying out and it is the saddest moment of my life, sadder than the last 2 times I've seen him like this.
I know it is hard to throw your son out, I say this with experience in doing that. My son at the age of 22 stole more stuff from my family then I care to go into. Drug addiction will do that to a person. We don't understand the pain they are going through when they can't have that drug. It is unbelievable. My son is loving and caring  but that drug is stronger than he is, than I am, than anyone in his life that loves him. He will do whatever it takes to get it. I had to ask him to leave. It was so hard and so sad. It had to be done. My mom took him in and to be honest I'm not so sure that was the best thing either. She is a grandma, she gives him money, buys his gas and cigerettes, for a time she was paying for his methadone, and guess what? He stole about 500.00 worth of jewlery. He is still living there and he hates that she gives him things, HE hates it. He knows that she is enabling him. That is why he had to come home to detox. She doesn't realize that she is hurting him more than helping him. She just wants him to be ok. Just like I did when he was living here. Bottom line Mom, your son has to hit the bottom to make his way up. He alone has to make the effort. No one can make him stop, but you yourself can make him stop hurting you and taking your things. You will be able to help him more if your not sad and emotional about what is happening in your home. The only way to clear that up is if he's not there. My son knows I love him, he loves me to and holds no grudge. He knows he was hurting me and his siblings. Now I can be here for him with a clear head and I'm much more supportive of him than I was when he lived with me. I was too hurt and too angry at him to want to help him. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to toss him out right now. Things are ok now. But if he does this again, you have to, for him, be strong and show him the door. He's got to know that a life of drugs is going to lead to a hard life for him. Just my opinion.
Trust me, I do know of what I say.

[LateAugust]

Having been on the roller coaster of a child addicted to drugs,  I would strongly suggest you get a drug kit and test him.   The pharmacist can direct you to the most accurate, and the 4 in 1 kits are the best for testing multiple drugs.

I wish it weren't true,  but I believed so many of the "mom I quit, I promise this time" blatant lies,  I am just trying to either spare you deeper pain from being lied to and manipulated,  or to know that your son really is quitting.

Good luck dear,  I know how very hard it is.....

[ScaredMom17]

Yes, I know I should kick him out, I just can't do it.  I have to keep an eye oh his every move.  His girlfriend and I are in constant contact while we are at work, trying to figure out what to do. My valuables have been removed from my house, sad to say, that is so hard to deal with!!  He just came to me and said he has never seen me so sad......maybe he has to see the hurt he causes to finally realize that he needs to stop.   He has been much better these past few days, he says he is not using, now I clearly know the signs, I don't see any of those signs in the past few days. Thank you all for your thoughts, these posts are so reassuring, to know there are those out there who understand and care.  Maybe I will have him read these posts as bandnmom suggests......yes the pain our kids cause us, gutwrenching!!!  

[sadinmichigan]

I am so sorry honey that you are going through this..ohh the pain our kids can cause ...I agree with all said above..especially if he is stealing from you..he needs to be put out of the house..I would not tolerate that kind of behavior and letting him stay is enabling him to continue this way..I know it *****..but he has to want to stop this..what does his girlfriend have to say about this?

[bandnmom]

Like addict200 said...he has to want to stop. No begging or pleading will make him change his way only he and he alone can do that. Maybe see if you can get him to come here and read some posts. That might be the little push he needs. Good luck to you and your family!

[addict200]

I know this is a very diffucult thing for you to be going through. It's not your fault. You can be there for him and help if he wants but he has to decide he wants to stop, no one can force him. You need to take care of yourself, that's the only person you can control. With a baby I know it's hard to kick him out but maybe that will be the best thing for him. I don't have the answers I wish I did, all I know is that an addict will use if they want to and no amount of pleading will make him stop unless he wants to.
Please take care of yourself and I will pray for you.

[dominosarah]

Is there a reason why he is living in your house??  You may have to do the tough love thing here.  The stealing is going to get worse.  He is 23 yrs old with a family.  He cant rely on you to keep taking care of things for him while he is taking your things.  You have to take a stand in your house.  I know this is difficult but he really wont stop until he is ready to quit. Please let us know how it is going          sara