NEED SOME SUPPORT

[wanttobecleanmom79]

Let me start by giving you guy's some background info. In 2005 I was in a car accident and because of that I had to do PT and during that PT was prescribed Loratab 10mg 3 x's daily and Soma's 3 x's daily. I was on that for about a year and when the doctor stopped prescribing it for me I had a neighbor who took methadone and oxycotin and was giving me both of those for about 8 months until I moved to Ohio in December of 2008, I didn't go through withdrawal to bad and was pill free until I found a connection up here, and started to take vicodin and percocets I took whichever I could get my hands on and I have taken those until my husband who also was taking pills decided to get clean and go on suboxone. and so I got off the narcotic's and got on the suboxone. I was taking a quarter of an 8mg tablet a day until his doctor switched him to subutex. When that happen I decided to get off the pills all together and went cold turkey when the withdrawals got to bad I decided to take vicodin on occasion to help with the withdrawal symptom, of course I did this without thinking about getting hooked back on Vicodin so I quit those cold turkey as well. and when the withdrawal symptoms got to bad I would take an 1/8th of a Subutex 8mg tablet. Today is the first day of not taking anything. Withdrawal symptoms have not been to bad. I am feeling tired, weak, lethargic, I have had a little bit of anxiety, energyless tightness of my chest being over emotional. I know all this is normal, but I have a few questions. Will I feel this way forever? Have I choosen a life with feeling tired and energyless forever, over not wanting to take pills. I just want my life back, I want to be able to get up in the morning and feel awake and alive. I am so tired of not being able to do that unless I get a pill in me and even then I was having to take more and more to feel that way. My back still hurts, but I can't determine if it is real back pain or if it is just my body my mind trying to convince me to take more painkillers. I know that it is the lather, but it feels SO real, but pain or no pain I am through with the pills. I just want my life back where it isn't dependant on if I got enough pills in my system to do what I want to do. It will be hard because my husband still takes his subutex and is currently thinking about switching back to narcotic's due to affect's from his stroke he had in December of 2010. I just can't live my life dependant on pills. Pills to wake up, Pills to get up and clean house, pills to do stuff with my kids. Pills to deal when I get angry or sad I just can't do it anymore. I feel as though I don't want to feel like the only way to feel alive is by taking a pill. I just need some support and reassurance. Someone who is feeling the same way I am to be here and let me vent or talk through what I am going through. thank you it is the end of Day 1 and I don't know what tomorrow has in store for me, but hopefully it won't be to bad and if it is I will deal.

Kaye

[gnarly_1]

HI well your in for a couple of bad days it usually takes about a week now sub will take longer like methadone to come around from but it is still doable you havent been taking that much that will help but sub is some strong stuff and the withdrawals can last a wile but we have a lot of members who have made it threw at higher doses then your taking so it is very doable stck with us here read some of the other posts this will probablly take a goood 7 day week to start to feel better ...keep posting for support good luck and God bless.....Gnarly

[wanttobecleanmom79]

Sorry I haven't figured out how to edit but this is also what I am experiancing. So far this morning I have only been up a while, but I feel drugged out and I seem to be seeing things in double form. I feel like my head is spinning. My chest feels tight and has pains shooting through it, but I guess that is what you get for using for 10+ years. Also my nose is stuffed .

[Slim_Shady]

Hi mom, you do have a battle ahead of u as did I. I quit cold turkey 20 days ago, and i Feel like I could work in a pharmacy and stay clean. I had all of your symptoms, and for 3 to 4 days it was PURE HELL, for 3 more days it was mildly uncomfortable. After a week, I could see the light at the end, and I'm comfortabley running to it. The way i see it, I flat out deserved the pain I suffered during withdrawals for what I put my family through.

What i can promise you Mom is, IT WILL GET BETTER. How much better or when truly depends on you and your fight. Personally, I hate to lose, I will not let anyone or anything control my life any longer, and u can do the same. Take a stand and fight your life. We are here for u.

[wanttobecleanmom79]

Today is day four and I am experiancing the same symptoms, except my vision is blurry and am seeing double, when people talk to me it is in slow motion, I know it is me and not them I have asked. Also the hot and cold flushes have hit. One moment I am hot and sweating and the next I am freezing. I hope this helps.

Kaye