Need help getting off hydrocodone - discreetly

[missy812]

Ok, so I am a new member to this forum, but I have been reading posts for quite some time.  I started taking vicodin (5mg’s) about 4 years ago.  About 2 years ago is when it started to become a real problem. I started increasingly taking norco (10 mgs) and sometimes percocets (10 mgs), but only when I ran out of the norco… Perc’s made me nauseous.  The worst I have ever taken is 12 per day.   Up until about 4 months ago, my husband and nobody else in my family had no clue.  But my husband found a large empty bottle and caught me.  He was really supportive and he was there for me when I quit CT over a long 3-day weekend (I work), very shortly after finding out.  He took care of me and was very understanding.  Of course the first 3 days were the worst, but then after that, I still felt like **** every day.  Its hard because I have a job and daughter, and it was really hard feeling like **** every single day…  I stopped for 3 weeks and was really starting to feel better and more normal, then I got a kidney infection and had severe pain so I ended up getting back on them.  My husband has no idea that I have relapsed and I’m afraid to tell him because one, I know he will want to see my doctor and blame him, even though I have been the one weaseling my way to get them, AND two, I have a lot going on with friends and family this summer coming up - I know my husband will want me to quit CT, but I don’t want to feel like **** again (not just for the three days but the following weeks.)  That is one thing I know he will not understand.  He thinks I can and should just quit CT and deal with feeling like **** after that.. I also can’t miss any more work. I am ready to quit, I just want to do it with the least amount of symptoms and discretely.  If the worst could hit in late July that is definitely the best time for me work-wise, family wise, etc…

I need help determining what is the best, most discrete way for me to quit?  I can now take 6 per day, but the only reason why is because I ran out early and these last two days have been BAD. I finally got my refill today and still feel like ****.  The last time I quit CT, I took Clonidine to help and it really did, but I was still very sick – it just helped take the edge off -  I couldn’t stand up much at all.  Tapering is very difficult for me, but I might be able to do it if I really put my mind to it and if I heard some success stories.  The hard part for me is, I can take 1 (after 4 hours) and feel fine and normal, but sometimes I want to feel better than normal, I want the euphoric feeling, which I keep needing more and more to feel that.  UGH!!

Any advice? Thank you in advance for your time in reading this and your support.

[missy812]

Thank you all for your advice.

I guess I knew the answer to this all along, I will have to come clean to my husband.  BUT I just don't feel I can right now. Like I said, he will want me to quit CT and I can't.  I have too much going on and he doesn't understand the feeling of not only the 3 day w/d, but AFTER that... So, I will TRY to taper until I can do CT, which is late July... then come clean to him.

[worried878]

the tapering plan above sounds like a piece of cake...living it and actually doing it will probably not be in reality///a pice of cake///fact is addicts have no control over their doc or they would not be addicts in the first place...so how on earth can they successfully control a taper alone???  I have seen a few/not many/succeed and to this day i wonder if those few were really "addicts" or just physically addicted.... if u wanna find out if u r an addict or not..try to taper by urself with pills in ur house..and the truth of the matter will be staring at u like a bad nightmare

after quitting i realized how unimportant  keeping my secret was..the important thing is getting clean and in reality it doesnt matter who u have to tell...cos this stuff doesnt get any better..only worse as time goes on

[2_luv_not_judge]

OMG...I am in the same situation as you. My hubby does not know that I am addicted to vics. I started about 6 months ago. It started out mild of course...2 daily, then to 4, now to 6 daily. Sometimes I even taken up to 8 daily to achieve the euphoric feeling. I hate myself for it. I have such a beautiful caring family and this is my big dark secret. He is tapering down from smoking and he is doing so well. I in no way want him to find out about my problem. It will just make him screw up his great progress. I have not tapered down yet but that is my discreet plan. I have tried to quit CT and it is horrible. I think our best bet is to taper down. But we must be strong and have the willpower not to exceed our daily goal!! Like my daily goal is to taper down to only 5 pills a day for a week. Then 4 pills a day for a week. Then 3 pills a day for a week. Then just 1 pill a day for a week & then hopefully NONE!!
How does that plan sound? At least we would not be without it. CT is way to hard on us physically and mentally. I think tapering down is the most best and discreet way to quit.

[sw9281]

Is there a discreet way to cure cancer or fix a broken bone? Your focus should be on getting off the drugs, not trying to hide your recovery. Unless you are very lucky and the one of out of a thousand you have a real fight on your hands. Do you want to stop being a drug addict or not. Answer that question honestly for yourself and the rest will fall into place.

I also was able to hide my 5 year addiction and nobody including my wife knew. I got to the point where the quality of life got so bad I came clean to my wife. She cryed but stayed with me. I went to my Dr who wrote me all these rx's for a neck problem who sent me to a pain dr that sent me on the suboxone train. The point is I did not stop until I decided it was time and there was no option other than 100% success. If you are not at that point yet you probably will struggle, discreetly or not. Today is day 45 off the suboxone and day 111 off the percocets.

Best of Luck
Steve

[RANDO88]

You can go to a methadone clinic, but in my experience (5 times) most clinics let you raise your own dose for the 1st month. Without lots of self control,most people tend to push their dose higher than needed (getting a decent buzz) Also mixed with valium,xanax,etc. your can really fly. I found Suboxone to be far superior. It is not perfect & is expensive---but I found it worked wonders for me. Best Wishes, Rando88

[misslilac]

Since your husband already knows why not taper by giving him the pills to control the dose you get. That way no cold turkey and you are accountable to someone. I started a taper on Sat. ---only down by 1/2 pill and then was so sick of the pills that I wanted to take the lowest dose possible by Monday. I'mstill on my taper and a bit disapointed I have not dropped down from 31/2 per day but I'm trying to remember that the feeling of euphoria that you speak about STOPS at a certain point and for me the more pills I took to get that feeling which was 2-7.5-at a time the more nausous and low energy they made me feel. I think that's where the phrase chase the high comes from. You will at some point not get high or pain relief only sick to your stomach --remember that!!!  

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

This isnt really the kind of thing that you do on your terms. It should be obvious that the pills are the ones calling the shots. It is just something that you will need to do at some time. And good luck to you.........

[worried878]

everyone is different so hard to say what is best for u...i was at 80-100 mgs a day/mostly 100 mgs and tapering was sumpin i sukked at terribly...ct is how i went and for me it was just 3-4 days of feeling tired and flu-like...not as bad as some real flu's i have experienced,,,back to work day 5..it was later that the fun part started tho..the depression and extreme fatigue...without aftercare i woulda relapsed, i am almost certain..exercise and the aminos helped me tons..if u go with a taper it is best to let someone hold ur pills for u..good luck

[Cassie415]

Maybe you could try going to an addiction therapist for some long term help. Then someone will be holding you accountable but your husband won't have to know. You could make up some reason as to why you are there. I have been trying to stop on and off for the last three weeks but every time I reach about day 3 I start using everyday again. I went to my first appointment today with an addiction counselor. I did not want my parents to know so I told them it was for anxiety. I'm meeting with the therapist again on friday and  it has made me motivated to stay off to prove to him I can--and to myself. Instead of thinking how will i ever stay off the drugs for the rest of my life it breaks it into short term goals, like for now, I am just thinking about staying off oxycontin until friday, and then friday it will be only thinking about it until the next monday. It just breaks it up into shorter times which is helping me I think.

[ginsa]

I don't know if there is a discreet way to quit. Your husband has already been through this with you once, and he might just figure it out. It doesn't seem that it's possible to avoid withdrawl even when tapering, so that isn't going to help you hide your relapse. Some have been able to pass off acute withdrawl as the flu, but that's only going to account for a few bad days. If you really want to quit it seems the best way to go is to come clean with your husband. Have a plan to quit and ask for his help. Tell him that you need to do this when you will have the least amount of stress to cope with.  But you have to really be ready to quit. It takes time to start feeling good again. Being aware of this fact can help you cope when you are experiencing the depression, anxiety and fatigue that often linger after detox. No good will come from continuing to use, you won't be able to hide that indefinitely either. I wish you well. Keep posting.

[brokenn]

hello i know how you feel my wife thinks i should just quit CT too but she just does not know the feeling of the withdrawls you just want to get away from yourself and you cant... So now i am on a methadone treatment clinic where i go everyday to get a dose of methadone to be able to function and go to work. But still i fear i am going to have to withdrawl from this but im hoping through the support of this clinic i go to and friends and family and this website i just found not 2hrs ago with all the people who share my pain I am hoping for a positive recovery. I just hope there is a way to do this without the sickness but i fear there is not... good luck