Need help kicking vicodin habit!!!

[Nissa83]

I have been abusing vicodin, percoset, oxys, anything I can find for 3 years, I'm up to 80-120mg per day. I took 80mg by 5:30pm Friday, didn't take any Saturday but flipped out on my husband in a panic attack and now he won't come home, woke up Sunday feeling like I was gonna day with all of what I know now are "normal" withdrawal symptoms, but stupid me just HAD to go out and seek 12 more 10mg vicodins, I took two today, of course I feel better...but here's the deal, I just started probation, I see my PO for the first time in 8 days and HAVE to be clean, I have a almost 5yr old daughter at home, a good job, and I don't want to lose everything!! I called a couple places today, one guy told me I need to go to treatment for a month, but how can I leave my job, my kid, my home for a MONTH? Then a lady said she'd sign me up for methadone clinic, sure my PO won't allow that! I could call my DR but he's clueless, I've been buying all my pills on the street for the last 3 years!!! WHAT DO I DO NOW???

[bama88]

welcome..im bama.
im hearing your stress and fear. glad your here with us today...wish on better terms. but you'll be ok. im sure your scared id be too...but you'll be ok. have you ever detoxed before? its not fun like getting the flu. but ya gotta do it. we will support you the whole way thru....your not alone. i took pills for over 8years. oxy at the last. so i understand the panic attack and viscous circle pills create. but probation is wow..got to pass a pee test. if you don't or can't get a doctor to prescribe them you've got to stop them.....im not being mean. oh no im worried for you.....so please please please stop and flush that poison down the toilet....your freedom depends on it. and get all the legal stuff for Thomas recipe...and settle in for a bad flu experience....are you working? or can you take off...im trying to help ill support you. I've been thru a oxycontin withdrawl and get it. but please detox and ill support you from the heart

[bama88]

nissa are you here honey...can you detox starting today? that way you look good for the probation officer? just wanna help...

[Nissa83]

thank you so much I'm really losing my mind!!! I have to work full time and take care of my daughter alone now, because during those terrible 36hours without pills I violently attacked my husband and he will not come home now!!! I only have two vacations days left, my boss is fed up with my constant slacking off and tardiness and behavior he has NO IDEA is caused by this addiction. I HAVE to be clean by Feb 27th at 5pm but how can i do this??? Can I possibly do it and go to work every day?

[littlebit667]

I am 60 and did not die from detox at home...It was not easy but worth it.  I am two weeks clean and fingers crossed will stay that way.

You have no time to taper....you have to want it worse than anything.  Here is some help!

I kept telling myself...YOU HAVE the FLU!  It will be over and I will feel so much better.  My brain seemed to get that and settled down a little.  It is hard, but doable!  The Thomas Recipe (bottom of the page under Health Pages will help.  I did not to the tranquilizers and had to cut back on the Ltryosine, but the rest really helped.  Imodium, Imodium, Imodium (liquid or pills if the liquid can't be found or you can't swallow it) will help.  I took double the dosage for a few days (personal choice) and it helped so much..even with the withdrawals in general and the opiate trots which sucked.  

Hydrate and eat!  Even if it is just a little every hour or so.  You have to eat something to keep your energy up as much as possible.  

If you have Restless legs..it is hit or miss what works.  Walking seemed to help me some.  Hot bath with epsom salts..a little.  I finally had to get my doctor to refill my restless legs meds (non addictive) to get some sleep.  If nothing works,your doctor might help.  

One hour at a time is all anyone can ask.  After 2 weeks it gets a little better and I started to say, One day at a time!  Your brain will do all sorts of things to get you to take a pill.  I found if I was hungry..the cravings got worse.  I would try to eat a banana, a few grapes or a few crackers to get that under control.

Good for you.  I hope all goes well.  You have made a good start coming here....this site has helped me so much!!!  Keep posting!!!!!

[Nissa83]

im thinking of trying to go to the dr tomorrow but don't even have enough money for my copay, my mom and dad might help me but god I'm 28 now I want to grow up!!!

[bama88]

yes listen to littlebit...and talk to us..we will and want to help you. look at this as a blessing. the probation is awful...but you've got to get clean and the probation will help. i jumped off a 120+ milligrams of oxies..worst five days of my life..but you'll make it. you've got 8 days to clean up. just flush them down the toilet now. and get this going!! spend tonight getting supplies at walmart ...but this is do able. pick up some protein shakes too. and good luck...it will be over like the flu...i loved popsicles...we want ya to get cleaned up with love and support

[littlebit667]

heck, hon!  I am 60 and still waiting for that!  :)  Do what you have to to get clea.it is too important!

[bama88]

are you sure doctor will prescribe? what's the scariest part of quitting for awhile. with everything going on with probation...do you need the stress of pills in your life? it sounds like they are ruining your life

[Nissa83]

I know, so you think I have to call in and risk losing my job to do this???

[Nissa83]

no i was considering asking the dr to prescribe me something to kick the habit, I've read about taking something like suboxon or something, but will my PO allow that?

[bama88]

we are talking about your freedom...if you go in dirty and they and they will pee you?? you'd violate your probation before it got started. you defanley don't want to detox in jail do you? no. so don't rely on the doctor...what are you gonna say to get pills? and again no disrespect. this is important stuff....you can't play with that thought....im supporting you...trying to help

[littlebit667]

Sub is tough and hard to get off of.  I promise there are other ways that will work.  

[Nissa83]

ok i can't get in my email for some reason so im back. i am broke and need to detox as fast as possible at home with missing as little work as possible. I saw the things I need; but all i have is some niacin, folic acid, and some benedryl. What else can I do to make this as simple as possible?

[littlebit667]

Imodium (liquid is best)!  Esp. if you are trying to work.

[Nissa83]

ok i'll try to get some, thank you

[Nissa83]

Ok, here I am at work, and I can't stop crying and I really don't feel like I should be here. I haven't really completely quit yet, I took one 10mg in the middle of the night and half of one this morning. I can't beg my husband to come home, he won't!!! I am sooooooo scared of losing my daughter.

[vicki595]

In what way did you "violently attack" your husband?  You can't do that and that is reason enough to stop this madness right now.

Are they doing a urine test in 10 days? We can't tell you how to pass it but I think it's safe to tell you that if you stop the pills now, you'll be fine.

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  You just have to STOP!  Plain and simple.  It will be hard.  Really hard, but you are going to jail if you don't quit.  I've been there with probation, and always tested clean, because I cleaned up my act, but I saw lots of people there who didn't and they left the office in handcuffs.  

Get some Imodium.  It will help.  Don't take any more opiates.  NONE!  Throw out all you have.  It's the only way.  

I'm sorry you're going through this!

[apike31108]

Nissa. I quit cold turkey starting Monday, Feb 13th. I took my last two Lortabs (30mg) Sunday, Feb 12th at around 9am. Today is my Day 8. I worked all of last week. I didn't want too, it was so hard to be here, but as you said you have to work. My boss as well is sick of me missing work, not knowing it's from being an addict needing to find pills. I worked all last week and thought it was the longest week of my life. I wanted to die. I hurt so bad, mentally I wanted to break down. Call your husband and apologize. He will come back. Thank god my fiance is a stay at home dad and has been wonderful and super supportive throughout all this. If I can do it you can. I know when people told me that I thought yeah right gimme a pill, but you can do it. You don't want to lose your child.

[Nissa83]

I hit my husband, over and over, that's how I attacked him. I just wanted to sleep and he kept waking me up and I just lost it on him. I made an emergency eval appt for tonight at 6pm and I'm going to be honest with them and see what they suggest. one place I called said detoxing from opiates isn't life threatening so they wouldn't help me. I just feel so weak, mentally and physically!!! I have BEGGED AND APOLOGIZED to my husband and he says this time it's too much and he doesn't want a divorce but he doesn't want to come back anytime soon either.

[Nissa83]

I have to see my PO for the first time one week from today now. I have 5 pills left and I was going to try to take two today, one tomorrow, one wednesday, then have Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (I see my PO monday at 5pm) to clean up. But God even saying that outloud sounds terrible!!! I'm such a wreck!!!

[kk1303]

you will still feel like crap tapering that fast. best to just stop now. you can ask a dr to prescribed you clonidine. its a blood pressure med but is suppose to help with opiate withdrawals. i don't have insurance and it only cost me $5. i still felt like crap, don't get me wrong, but maybe it helped? i dunno...it was my first time detoxing so i have nothing to compare it to.

[apike31108]

You should be fine. I think they said they are out of your system in the most 3 days? But make sure you don't go back to them when they are gone. It's so hard I know. Honestly I would start sooner than later though. You will be ok. It's hard mentally I know. I went through it last week. Your husband will be back. He will understand and forgive. It was the pills not you. You all will recover :)

[timeisthefire]

have looked into the suboxone program ? its possible that your dr is able to prescribe it or possibly find it on the street.it will take the "sick" away.depending where ur probation is they usually don't P-test for "sub" Good Luck