Need someone to help/listen (Norco Detox)

Question

Ok I'll try to make this as short as possible but if it ends up being long I apologize in advance!! So I'm a 34 yr old women who has 2 amazing children (17 & 11) but because of my daily chronic migraines I've been taking about 9 Norco per day (10/325) for the last 10 years. The prescription for many years now has been 180 pills every 3 weeks so yeah it's a large amount of pills and an extremely long time being on them. So if you'd asked me 1 1/2 weeks ago the thought of stopping never crossed my mind but that was before things came to a breaking point with my husband. We've been married for 9 years and together for 13 but the only reason I stayed through the hell that was my marriage is to get my meds!! When my insurance ran out while we were engaged we got his doctor to start writing the prescription under my husbands name (he had a bad car accident not too long before so it wouldn't raise any suspicions) so that the insurance would cover them. Well this has been going on now for almost 10 years!! My husband is a chronic liar who has not only lied to me constantly for the last 13 yrs but also cheated on me and stole money from my daughter (17 yr old is from a previous relationship). Now most people would've said enough is enough many years ago but I knew if I left I'd have to give up my pills because no way in hell was another doctor going to start me out on that type of thing especially the way they act with migraines these days.

So anyway about 9 days ago I finally had enough when I caught him talking to yet another woman on Facebook (and they weren't having a "just friends" conversation). I stood my ground and told him I was done and wanted a divorce. Well I think he's done all these things over the last 10 years knowing that I'd forgive him each and every time because he was my only way of getting my pills which I couldn't live without. I just can't do it anymore and decided that the hell of withdrawl & detox would be so much easier than the hell I've been living in for almost 13 years!!! 

I have been planning my detox for the last few days and I'll be starting it next Monday when I run out of my last prescription. I'm actually almost excited in a way because these pills have taken complete control over my life. I have to plan everything around them to be sure we aren't gone or out of town when it's refill time! I refuse to let him and these pills control my life anymore and want to just get this over and done with so I can move on. 

Anyway I'd love any advice for detox that you have to give and will try to be on as much as possible during the process for guidance & support from those who know what I'll be going through. I've prepared my shopping list already of all the things that might make it a little easier (thanks to the Thomas Recipe) and I know it's still illegal but I also asked my brother to please see if he could find me some anxiety meds. I've had to go a day or two without pills in the past and oh boy it was PURE HELL especially the RLS because that is a problem for me to begin with. I almost wish I could just afford to go to that rapid detox place in Cali cause they keep you sedated while you go through that first few days when the physical symptoms are at their worst. 

It's funny because other than my Norco I haven't taken another drug in the last 10 years including alcohol, cold pills, sinus meds, ect.... I really did have respect for the meds because they worked quite well controlling my migraines and while I did sometimes take 1 more per day than it said on the bottle I didn't really abuse them (other than them being in my husbands name instead of my own). 

Ok I'm sorry for the rambling but I didn't know where to start or how to end so please I'm welcoming any and all help, info, advice, whatever you've got go ahead and dish it out I can take it :) I just want to be happy and healthy for myself and my children because being married to someone who mentally abuses you the way my husband did it turns you into someone you don't even like to look at in the mirror. That little fact makes me sick because I've always been the one who sees everything like the glass is half full and I have a HUGE heart. I'd give my last piece of food to anyone who needed it because that's just me and the way I've been raised. I've always cared more about others than myself (I guess I'm a bit of a people-pleaser). So now it's time to get ME back because my true self got lost in the fog of medicine and the bitterness of being married to someone who treated me like nothing more than a piece of ****. I'm done putting up with the lying, cheating, and stealing and I want my daughter to know that this isn't the way a marriage is supposed to work and you shouldn't let a man put you through this stuff!!

So back to the detox I'll be taking my last pills on Sunday so from past experience by Monday morning/afternoon I'll be feeling yucky and thankfully I have AN AMAZING family who will be helping me out. My brother and his wife will be keeping the kids with them for at least the first 5 days (the length of time depends on how I'm feeling) because I don't want them around me when I'm that sick especially my 11 yr old son who won't even find out his dad left until I pick him up from camp on Thursday (he's very emotional and would think I was dying). And my mom is going to stay part of the time to help me out if needed but I asked her to not plan on staying the whole time because that would make it harder on me. I think this is almost something I need to partially go through alone (not sure why). 

Any help, advice, or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated :) I just love that I found somewhere that people will understand what I'm going through and can help with even the smallest advice to make it even 1% easier!! 

Thanks for taking the time to read this extremely long post :) 
Kelly

LostInMichigan2012 · Answer

Thanks so much for the words of encouragement!! I have made my first big step as I've now been clean 26 1/2 hrs :) Feels good to say that and although I know w/d will get worse the next couple days there is a light at the end of the tunnel and seeing posts like yours makes it even more real!

smartgirlbadecisions · Answer

lost, you will SOON BE FOUND!!!!! i am so proud of you!! i am on day four and i KNOW you can make it honey!!! i am already feeling good, keep fighting this good fight, you can DO IT!!!!! 
(and im sorry about your daughter, but she is in good hands, so you just get yourself better so that you can be there for her sober, for the rest of your life) xoxoxo

LostInMichigan2012 · Answer

Bryan,

Thanks! It's been a hard day especially since my mom had to take my daughter to the doctor (no way I could) and found out she has mono. She's so sick and I can't even be there for her so that's extremely frustrating. I will get through this though if it's the last thing I do!!!!

Fireby29 · Answer

Hope your doing ok, sending you positive vibes.

Bryan

InNeed88 · Answer

Mary is so right Kelly,
I'm only on day 5 but girl i feel alive again, Its so great and to be honest the withdrawls sucked but werent half as bad as i thought theyd be. I was on Norco 10s for over 5 years. I know immodium and hylands restless legs both  reallllly helped that and a bunch of vitimans...You got this just buckle down and youll be feeling good before you know it

mary577 · Answer

Kelly, I think dreading it.....the unknown....is worse than the actual w/d,   Once you get into it, just hunker down for a few days and let it be.   It's not anything that you can't do.

LostInMichigan2012 · Answer

Thanks :) When I decided I was ready I made the choice to go C/T when my pills were gone (and my husband the supplier is of course also gone so no chance of getting more) so today is the last day. I took 2 this morning as usual then I have 2 left to take maybe around 3 & 6-7 tonight. I'm excited but probably will be more nervous when w/d actually starts to set in. I'll keep posting because this is going to be my feel-good medicine rather than popping a pill :)

mary577 · Answer

When you are ready to go, Kelly, just do it.   Post often for support and let us know how you are doing.

LostInMichigan2012 · Answer

Ok so I'm getting nervous now but also 100% prepared (well as prepared as I can be)!! I even made Pedialyte ice cubes in case I can't keep anything down over the next week :) I just want to get this show on the road so I can get back to the normal happy, bubbly, sweet person I always used to be. I'll keep everyone posted as the next few days will be hard I'm sure! 

Kelly

LostInMichigan2012 · Answer

I can't thank all of you enough for the wonderful comments and advice! I never in my life (at least the last 12 years) imagined that I'd actually be excited to start this new journey. I'm preparing and doing everything humanly possible to be as ready as I can on Monday for day 1 but I also know that it will be bad so I'm not fooling myself :) I just can't imagine that this will be any harder than the last 12 yrs have been and at least with this I know it's the first step in moving on with my life (life without mental abuse from my husband). I'll be sticking around during the process because I would love to know that there are people willing to listen and offer advice and actually know what I'm going to be going through. 

Thanks and please keep up the encouragement because it really does help me get ready for what's to come :) 

Be Blessed,
Kelly

selfinduced · Answer

YOU are worth the effort to get clean and out of your abusive relationship.Once you get well, you will see there is a whole life out there that is full of joy and doesn't involve chasing pills. Your daughter will benefit and feel safe in your care. To continue down this road is a dead end venture. You deserve to be happy, healthy and in a loving relationship where your mate don't count on your addiction to do as he pleases. Keep posting for support. At some point you will have to stop these pills. Better to do now then 10 years from now when your more dependent and the w/d's are harder. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

mary577 · Answer

Kelly, you are taking about twice the amount per day that I was taking and for twice as long.   I quit CT.   For me, I thought it was best.   I made up my mind and I quit.   I knew I'd feel terrible...and I did, but it was nothing I couldn't handle....and I'm no spring chicken....almost 66 years old.   I like getting it over with.   Some people can taper...and some can't.   I probably could have because there were still pills here (that were my husband's) and I could have taken them if I had wanted to, but I had no desire to take one....still don't.    I took them for five years and I had no plans to quit.   I liked how they gave me energy and though I have medical issues....the pain was secondary to that.

I just want to tell you that there is life without pills.   I was never inclined to take medicine either.   I had never abused drugs or alcohol.    Not that I didn't have my own "addictions"   (I stayed in a bad marriage for some horses that I couldn't afford otherwise and could never give up....but I had to come to some conclusions about what I could tolerate and what I couldn't.....trade offs.   Not that I would recommend anyone else to do something like that....but to each his own.)    

If you have been reading very much here, you know what to expect.   You know the worst days are usually 3 and 4 and it takes awhile to get your energy back.   I don't know anything about migraines....but there is bound to be an alternative to treating them.   Anyway, I just want to say hi, tell you to post often, and let you know that we will be here for you.   Good that you have the support of your family.    Don't be afraid.   You can do this!!

solost170 · Answer

oh lord does all that sound just like me, I was on hydrocodones 10/500 five times a day more than that cause they never lasted me long enough and neurotin and fiorcet for five years. and my bf has also cheated on me so I understand where you are comen from. I tried to taper oh boy for me that was awful finally fifteen days ago I took the plunge and did the cold turkey and even thou its hard still is i have my days where I just cant make myself go. I'm glad that I did it. cause I was like you found myself putting up with things I would never put up with just cause I had to have em couldnt live without em. but you can live without them and anytime you need advice or whatever everyone will be here for you , they help me so much and still are cause somedays are real struggle but then I have my good days which are amazing. hang in there it gets better love and light

Life360_Dave · Answer

Ive been on 6 per day of the norco for the past 4 years and also want to quit but have decided to do a cut down and then jump when im at a good level. For the past 7 days have cut back to 2 3/4 and am ok. I take 1/2 a tab in the morning. 1/2 at noon, 1/2 and 4pm, 3/4 at 8pm then 1/2 in the middle of the night. I tried to quit CT the first day and totally impossible as the feeling is way more than i can handle. Maybe not so bad for you but me forget it. Doctors say is dangerous to quit CT for some people. Its such an overwhelming feeling that it feels dangerours. Maybe better to get it out of your system slowly because you have been on them for so long.