Need to reach out...

[loveandlight05]

So i have not been reaching out as much as I should. I thought I was doing better with the worrying, but tonight, I look at my one year olds and think I am going to be taken away from them. They won't understand. It will ruin their lives.. I don't know. I am panicking...

[dominosarah]

The Serenity Prayer helps me during difficult times~

[lulu747]

Great advice Robin!!! (:

[Merri123]

No your twins will never be fine without you. How could they. I was just meaning that you would have a little peace of mind knowing they were being taken care of if you aren't there. But no one can replace your love. Ever. And it would've hard.

I hope this coming year brings you answers and a resolution. I can't imagine you going to jail. So I will continue praying they do not indict, and if they go you have minimal punishment and keep your job. Like others said, you have already bee punished for this. And you have turned things around and overcome it. That says do much.

[NeverAgain127]

Hi hon,

This would worry me too.  And I'm pissed off on your behalf...the saying "Justice delayed is justice denied."  comes to mind.  On the other hand, if this WEREN'T taking so long, you wouldn't have had the chance to get clean and show how much you are doing about this problem.   Maybe it is a blessing in disguise.

Can you make a statement to the grand jury?  I'd try to.  I'd write something up that talks about your treatment plan, how long you've been clean, all the meetings, your sponsor, the works.   And it goes without saying that you'd talk about how very, very close you are to your children, and how much you mean to each other.  

Hang in there and try to think positive, hon.  Just TRY.   I think, in my gut, that you are going to be okay.  You are not a repeat offender, you have strong ties to your family and community, you have a home, and a job.  

Don't let the worry rob you of the precious moments with your children.  You are in my prayers,

Hugs,
-R.

[loveandlight05]

No, I refuse to sit here and think of how my children could be ok without me. They have a father, but it is not the same. I hold them when they are scared or sick. I teach them how to walk and talk. They are utterly 100% in love with me, their mother. Taking me away from them, dad or not, would wreck them. I have to fight for them.

The charge is fraud possession of a schedule 3/4 substance 2 counts so far. Grand jury takes a long time. This is not abnormal. There is no case yet because the grand jury has not met yet. It has been about three months. My attorney cannot tell me anything until they indict me. I have to wait. Please, God, let them give me a second chance. I have been sober since 9/23/14. That is the week after I was arrested.

[lulu747]

I gotta agree with our pragmatist Vicki.  Please listen to her, she is ALWAYS right.  No need to rake yourself over the coals.  I would seriously be SHOCKED if anything more than court ordered treatment (which you are already doing) would come out of this.  You are already putting yourself in prison with these thoughts.  So make a call tomorrow and see where you stand.
Hugs,
Lu

[vicki595]

Please give your lawyer a call and go over this with him/her. He should be able to ease your mind. Do you even know what the exact charges are? To me, this is so crazy. It's like a punishment in and of itself to be constantly worried.  I know the Atty. charges for phone calls but I think it's worth it.
Seriously.

[Merri123]

Breath. Deep.  You can't worry about what you don't know about. It has been sometime now. Several months? Maybe you are in the clear? I know they move slow and all. Has your attorney said anything? I can't believe he hasn't had any discussions with the states attorney office. If not maybe he needs to do his job.

Just try to concentrate on Christmas and the Holidays coming up.

Do you have a plan if something happens? Who would watch the twins? Maybe making a plan and making sure everyone is in agreement would give you some peace of mind. Not knowing is very very hard. But knowing what will happen if the worst case happens can make it easier. Maybe.

Chin up. You have come so far. It counts. Keep up with the positive and hug those lil ones always. You'll be ok.