New and fighting to get clean

[Workinghardtobreakfree]

Quick intro. I am 44. I have many physical back issues from a MVA 20 yrs ago that resulted in finally finding pain control. Now five years later I find that pain control came with a price. Addiction. I am tired of being a slave to medication. Tired of living in fear of running out. Of waking up feeling like death. Realizing I am waking up in withdrawal.
After a huge struggle weaning a months Rx into two months I ran out. The weeks before running out were horrible. Hell on earth. But the second day with nothing. WORSE.
I am on day 18 or 19 no oxy contin or oxycodone  after five years of 180 each per month.
Still having bad anxiety. Depression.
Good days are few. But thank goodness they give me hope.
Pain is still a factor in my life. But I want off these meds.
Any advice or support needed and welcomed.
K

[Pat1956100]

Really hope it helps.
You are so worth it and have done such a great job getting to day 19 by yourself.
Hope work goes well and will be looking forward to your update.

[Workinghardtobreakfree]

Thank you thank you. Just getting ready for work but wanted to check in. I think this place will be a god send for my success and sanity.
Will write more this evening after work. Thank you to each one of you. After reading I went to super store and grabbed 5htp a b complex and melatonin. I appreciate ALL the advice and encouragement. I hope to be as useful to you or another person one day with my tale.
K

[Pat1956100]

Yeah that's it.  I couldn't take it because I am on AD's.  That's why I never remember it.

[cleanguy]

Just to jump in with the 5htp... it works wonders for me. The ltyrosine helps too... definitely try it!  Just know that you can't take the 5htp with antidepressants. Great job on the clean time!

[Sonrissa]

I just want to welcome you and add my support! You have certainly come a long way! Do you have any support at home? Family or spouse? Have you spoken to your doctor about this?

You will find lots of support and compassion here! We've all been there in one way or another! Please hang in there and feel free to keep posting through your journey! Congrats on your clean time, it will get easier with more time! Take care!

[dominosarah]

Hi and welcome~

Congrats on getting your life back.  The depression is very common during this time.  Walmart has 5HTP that you can try.  If the depression continues then see your doctor.  They have many AD meds that are non narcotic.  Recovery is a slow process.  Our mind and body have to heal from the abuse it took.  Have you thought about talking to anyone?

[Pat1956100]

Welcome and congrats on your clean time.  18 days is fantastic
Are you sleeping yet?
There are some things you can try for the anxiety.  Valerian root has worked for many people here.
I use melatonin for sleep and it really helps.  I also have used it for anxiety.
The depression part of withdrawal is so awful and I find it really bad when you are coming off of oxycontin.  
It will get better.  
There are some natural things you can take for depression as well. I'm sorry I can't remember them but I am hoping someone will come along and tell you.

Hang in there and keep posting.  Lots of great people here.

[mamaof4410]

Your anxiety and depression will get better but you have to talk about how your feeling. This is so common with people that take legit perscriptions and become addicts and dont realize it until the meds are gone.
But you can do this. Think about your life before pain meds...Was it ok?
Thats what I use some days when I feel a little lost...My life was AMAZING before drugs. So I get back there if I really want to. So can you. Keep posting on here anytime you get that itch to use again. This site really helps alot. Best of luck to you.