HELP ME, anybody

[drakeBpat]

Help!!!! What makes it easier to get thru day one to everyday after? I've been doing pills (vicodin percocet) for three years I wanna get clean because I hate waking up without it I hate even thinking about being without it of course when I have no money I'm without but I always find a way i never can get past day 2 and of course I got too stop and I have too want to which I do I'm just literally scares shirtless. (Excuse my language) its just the temptation of having it when its around or when its available also I just want to be able to have money extra money I work a full time job I pay my bills and but not only that its like a priority in my life... How do I stop and stay awayyy?!! I literally drive myself crazy and im up all night this is the only thing iv ever done but 3 yrs is along time....

[Sarbie]

Hi Drake what's happening?

[Sarbie]

One step at a time Drake. Reality check. And remember we will never give up on you. This is a safe place where you can come any time.

[Sarbie]

Do you really want to be free? It's not solely your secret, the people you buy from know, do they have your best interests in mind?

So why not call someone to get help instead of doc?

Do you believe in God? If so Satan is having a field day with you keeping you in bondage. Jesus dies to set you free, you don't need to be in fear, this is not of God.

[drakeBpat]

I have found some and I'm scared to give  this up idk y but I donyr know why this happen ing I was doing so good yesterday

[Sarbie]

Have you found some clinics to call?
Are you going to call?

[drakeBpat]

I know its just so hard at night and I know  ,

[Sarbie]

Drake read my last post. Nothing will change until you seek help. You don't need to be unassisted in the state you are in. But you are choosing to. Yes I know you are petrified of seeking outside help.

But what is reality? Should one be petrified, because its warranted? Is going to a clinic going to put you 'at risk' ?

Would you rather give in to your anxiety, not seek help, stay in hell or worse relapse?

What are you choosing?

You have insurance!!!!!!!!!!!! So many people in the country you live in have no choice but to go it 'alone' because they don't have insurance and a lot of the people that come here don't have any insurance or the type of insurance they have doesn't cover them for drug rehab.

[drakeBpat]

It is its so bad this *****! Its killing me!!

[drakeBpat]

And on top of that I am freaking about it  earlier when I was asleep I had a bad dream about it and that doesn't make it ANY BETTER

[Sarbie]

Drake pleeeeasssse ring and outpatient clinic so you can see a dr. They may give you meds to help with the anxiety etc, get you in to see a therapist etc etc. You don't need to be in the state of mind you are in physically alone.

Your isolation is causing this to be sooooo much worse then it needs to be.

[drakeBpat]

Ohhh not to well :( I have terrible anxiety and I wish I could just not go thru this I'm having negative thoughts of course and I just wish I could sleep it away ha its so hard my mind won't stop racing and I got paid today so what in the world is the first thing I would do. Buy. And I'm trying to just not go down that road

[Sarbie]

Hi Drake how are you going?

[Sarbie]

Awesome stuff. I can feel positivity coming from you all the way to Australia.

[drakeBpat]

I sure will thank you! I get off work in an hr gonna go home try to sleep wake up and get this thing Rollin I'm scared but I got this

[Sarbie]

Hi Drake, look up a few outpatient clinics and in the safety of your home call them. They will understand that the person (yourself) is not bursting with conversation, it is a big deal to make that call. They will help you on the phone to talk.

You have insurance take it with both hands and get the support you need. A lot of people who come on here, don't have insurance.

Just one step at a time, you came here, now make some calls. You can do it.

[drakeBpat]

They say, one day at a time I gues

[drakeBpat]

Okay I'm so nervous because like above it was said even though I'm free and open on the forum I'm not in realilty out here . it still my 'secret' and it sux I just pray I can get thru this i'm gonna get off work in a few hours and try to sleep away and wake up and stay busy ahhh its crazy

[jifmoc]

Drake, honey, you remind me of so many of us: panicking about the future.

I have a suggestion: call either the NA or AA hotline in your town (or any town, for that matter) and ask them best way for you to get to a meeting.

[dwhitti777]

Don't worry about what you are going to feel like hours from now. Just get through this hour...and then the next....and so on. Just find something positive to focus on for now.

[drakeBpat]

Worried that I'm gonna get bored and have all the time in the world to think. Im already panicinf and i have hrs ahead of me. And with insurance I think I can get help with anything I need! I'll have to look into it for this kinda situation

[dwhitti777]

When that happens it is good for you to post... but also go over to YouTube and watch some funny video clips on something. For some reason I've been watching funny clips from Judge Joe Brown. *lol*

[Sarbie]

Drake- I so hear you. What has you worried as hell, ( I'm sure I know but it will be good to get it out).

I'm in Australia, so please bear with me. You wrote you have insurance, just no Dr. Help-wise with the type of insurance you have, what will this allow you to access?

[drakeBpat]

Imn having a rough night. I cant eat relax.... Here comes the anxiety and i swear i just have the worst brain i can be fine and then boom my brain clicks and I am n the worst mood and my brain just makes it to where I'm starving for these things! This sux!!

[drakeBpat]

I really do want this ... Its so hard but iv gotten to that point ya know ? And yeah I love working night because like you said It passes time and tomorrow is my day off I'm worried as hell : {{  Life doesnt  stop for nothin