Not the best way... will it be ok?

[inrealneed]

I don't know what I was thinking?? I had been on the methadon program on, and off for 3 years. Something really bad happend in my life 10 months ago, and that turned into me into a real mess... Shooting up 300-400 mils a day of the methadon. Now 3 weeks ago I went cold turkey off the methadon using ALOT of clonopins, and zan bars. Now those ran out(maybe ment to be)?? I was almost better except the chills, and a few other yuckies that we all know. So thinking I needed more benzos that I couldnt get have now led me into 4 days of herion. Please, Please someone tell me what to do? I cant go in anywhere(for a reason), and need to kick this at home? How far back do you think these 4 days set me, and what would be the best thing to stop me from crawling out of my skin??

[CATUF]

i'm forced to wonder what the reason is that you can't "go in anywhere."

your brief post paints a picture of late-stage active addiction and a life that's out of control.  no offense -- i was in the same position and (for me, anyway) it was a necessary stop on the way to recovery.

i always thought that going to rehab would be some kind of end of the world event, something to be avoided at any cost.  it wasn't.  it sure seemed like it when i was on my way and when i first got there, but it turned out to be a wonderful beginning.  i know a lot of people who went to rehab, and i don't know anyone who is sorry they went - most think it was the best thing they ever did.

CATUF
1985

[IBKleen]

You have a good attitude and that is half the battle. I am happy to hear you are getting help. Stick with us and let us know how you are doing.

[inrealneed]

I agree 100% I will, and I mean that with all my heart find a meeting tonight. I am starting a day time treatment next week. I need to be clean to start though. (LongStory) I wont ever get there if I cant get it out of my head that I will feel as sick as I did coming off the methadon. Yes, I also know I need head help. I'm a lost little girl right now battling a real bad addiction!

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,

As far as the physical withdrawal you will probably be uncomfortable for a few days. What concerns me is your behavior of running to the drugs over and over. You need to find out what the real problem is and learn to deal with "life" things clean and sober.

Nothing good can be at the end of the path you are on. You say you can't go to treatment, well you had better get some support somewhere. I don't believe you can do this alone and I think you know that.

We will be here to support you but you need support in the real world. You need to able to get a support group that you can lean on and learn from. Know what I mean?

Right now, hang in there. the physical will be over soon and I hope you take the steps to get some support.