I gave in...sort of.

[rmrobbie11]

Hello all. It is day 12 and boy was it rough. I had a swift and complete breakdown today. I LOST IT! Panic attack from hell then just got really depressed and started crying and apologizing to my poor husband for over an hour for everything I've put him through these last 2 weeks. Bless his precious little heart. He just hugged me sand held me and told me it was alright and don't worry, things will get better. Anyways, this episode was so bad I finally found a county mental health facility that would let me pay based on income. Which I don't have much because of my habit. So I went there today and was given zoloft, which I've taken before and Ativan for panic for the first couple of weeks until the zoloft builds up and takes over. I really didn't wan to be a slave to more pills, but my therapist is saying that since I had depression when I was a teenager that doing the vicodin for even a short time might have awakened the depression all over again, if that makes sense. I hate the thought of taking more pills to make myself feel better, but my doc says that my brain may not heal on it's own if I really have depression again and that I may have to take these for the rest of my life. The good news is I still haven't taken any vicodin. Although I'm not gonna lie, today was pretty tempting. I was actually thinking about it for a minute, but my hubby told me it would be pointless. It would make me feel a little better for about an hour or two and then I would have to start the whole thing all over again. It wouldn't be worth it to throw away 12 long days for 2 hours, at the most, of feeling better. God he's such a smart man. And he's all mine. I'm so lucky. Anyway just wanted to update everyone and let you know that it does get better. You have some good days and you have some bad days, but even as bad as my day was today, I learned a lot about myself and I got through it. And I feel so much better for it. Whoever out there is contemplating giving in and taking just "one more pill", DON'T! See a doc, a shrink, a priest, whoever you need to. Just don't give in. It's worth it to keep going.

[rmrobbie11]

The zoloft works wonders for me. I've taken it before so I know how it will effect me. It has a few side effects when you first start out but after a few days they go away. Actually I didn't have any side effects this time. And it's not just for depression, it works on anxiety too. That's why I've been taking it. If you're really interested you should ask you doc about it. They say it takes a few weeks for it to build up in your system and get the full effects, but I've only been taking mine for 4 days and can already feel a little difference. You should see about trying it. The worste thing that happens is it doesn't work. But there are plenty of antidepressants out there. I'm sure you'll find one that's right for you. Good luck.

[Addicted2long]

I am on day 39 and struggling with depression pretty bad and really thinking about starting an antidepressent. What did you say you were taking zoloft? I took prozac many years ago for about 3 months and it didnt really work for me I felt like a zombie and didnt have any motivation. I am going to talk to my therapist this week but you talking about how it helps you make me really interested if it would work for me. I had never had depression before and am really not the same as I was before. I dont have major depression like Im not crying, suicidal or anything like that I just am lethargic, feeling of guilt, lack of motivation, and what not so well see if it will help me too. It does take awhile for them to build up in you i kno but u can feel it after a day or two. Good luck to you and I hope it works out.

[rmrobbie11]

Day 15 and hanging in there. Dealing with this a lot better since I saw my doc about antidepressants. They're supposed to take 2-6 weeks to kick in fully, but I can already start to feel them working. My depression is dying down and I have almost no anxiety. Best decision I ever made. Well that and quitting the vicodins in the first place. Just wanted to give everyone an update and let you know I'm still here and sober.