how long does this go on

[Pcaz297]

To: all
Hi everyone,

I am a 57 year old male and find myself in this unreal situation. Since I grew up in the 70and 80's I have played with coke, meth, acid, and schrooms for 1 year or two at a time and stopped when I wanted to with no issue. I stoped smoking weed last march when I lost my job which I have been smoking daily since the age of 19.  

I am on day 9 from going thru an oxi detox at a local hospital. I was taking anywhere from 4-6 60mG a day for 2 years for pain from 2 bad back surgeries. I was laid off from my job of 20 years back in march due to economic conditions and have blown 2 interviews while I was on the drug. I need to get back out there and find a job b4 all is lost. My wife has developed several stomach and intestinal disorders since my severance has run out and I can't look at my 2 kids without going somewhere to cry. I have a history of depression and anxiety for which I take meds, but right now I feel like I did with my first bout of depression which lasted for almost a month. I am at the end of my rope. I keep pushing to do stuff but it only lasts a few mins and I'm back on the couch or pacing. I have been reading through some forums but can't find out how long this feeling will last. My Doctor guesses 2 months but if that’s the truth... I guess I need to hear something positive to help me through. Is there anyone out there that can shed some light on this dark situation????

[Pcaz297]

Hi Sway1,

I know the depression quite well. I think it's all part of the process. As far as cravings, if I never see Oxi again it would be just fine. My day 9 was tough also but keep moving and doing no matter how hard it is, it really works! I also think there is more than one person in our heads and it's there for every decision we have to make. Right now the only thing I miss is my weed. I have been smoking pot since I was 20 years old but when I lost my job in March, I immediatly stopped because I didn't want to blow any new job opportunity due to a urine test. in fact, I am on my way to another doctor today because since I stopped I can no longer control my blood sugar with diet ( I have type II) and my blood pressure is out of control (never had that problem b4 either) anyway, I'm sure this disscussion should be on another forum.

[sway1]

the activity is great. the 6 hours of sleep is probably your best friend. i am 47, and continue to yoyo. not taking anything that strong, but my body seems to treat all opiates the same when it comes to stopping. i believe alot of it is in my head and i think that pushes me into the depression. it's like a back door into the part of my brain that is ready to go get some more pills. i wonder, do non-addicts have only one person living in their heads? nah, just one not so darned efficient at working the other one.
sorry didn't mean to go on like that. day 9 is huge! hang in there. peace, sway

[Pcaz297]

Hi,

Thanks for the information and words of encouragement. I actually got 6 full hours sleep last night which is a first. It's too early to tell what kind of day it's going to be but looking at my hands i am not shaking as much. I just put out some more resume's but I am freeking out just thinking what I would do if someone called for more information or wanted to schedule an interview. We have a above ground pool in my back yard that has this deck attached to it and altough it has water that is in great shape, I still need to put the stairs in (look like a tiered wedding cake cut in half)  and power wash the mold from the stairs leading to the deck. Well, yesterday I actually took out the power washer and forced myself to spend 3 hours just to get it running and cleaned the stairs. I' am trying to stay busy and do stuff around the house but I still feel like ****. every step is a giant push. I will continue to post my progress and setbacks. Hey Dyingfor... If I can do this you can too. I am sure you are yonger than me and have more stamina, just push. it still ***** alot but you can beat this thing. As I mentioned in my first post, I take some antidepressent meds that I think are helping this. Maybe you should speak with your doctor and see if this could be a possibility for you.    

[allaboutmary]

Day 9 is great. Keep going and be patient with yourself. Soon you are going to have more good days then bad.  Energy can be slow in returning. Try and push yourself to get some exercise.  The people that exercise seem to recover twice as fast. It's hard not to be depressed in this economy. Keep reading and posting.  

[dyingfornormality]

That is the million dollar question "How long will this last?" It may last forever..maybe instead of thinking too far ahead just deal with this moment. Each moment you get through you are closer to having your life back. No one said those moments were going to be easy...
Like you I dabbled in drugs and could just stop..but not when I started on pills! I have relapsed countless times this past year because I couldnt deal with the depression that comes after the w/d's..I am now going into day 1 of w/d's and I dont know if I can do it! I dread what is to come, but I want my life back...this is about the 7th time Ive w/d in the past couple months, I get thru those physical part but the aftermath is rough and it sounds like that is what you're going though. I can only tell you to keeping fighting...its a battle that we somehow found ourselves in that we may battle the rest of our life. I cant answer all those questions...but I can say you are doing the right thing..may not be easy but in your heart you know what you have to do..so do it!!! One day at a time..this too shall pass..