PLEASE HELP ME! ASAP PLEASE I FEEL SO ALONE

[mommyof32b]

So I am 22 years old and I am going to be 34 weeks pregnant tomorrow, with my 3rd child. With my first 2 I did not have a problem with drugs or anything and I have always had my kids in my care and I love them very much as well as I love the one I am pregnant with now. With this pregnancy, before I found out I was pregnant I had gotten into a problem with heroin and when I found out I was pregnant with this one I stopped immediately. Well sooner than later I started using again (I do not shoot it up I just snort it)

I need help. I have read so many stories about babies going through withdrawal in utero, and I was so terrified, that I just kept doing the drug. I have never upped it, but I did try to decrease my dose (which is just 1 pill a day that I separate to last all day, I do not get high I just do it to not be sick)

I have not told my doctor about this problem, but I am so afraid I'm going to get my daughter taken away. I feel so alone and so scared. My fiancé is the ONLY person who knows I have been doing this and he has a bad problem with It himself.

I have tried many times during my pregnancy to get off of this drug, but I feel my baby move around as if she's having seizures and I honestly believe she was having withdrawals from the drug so I just kept the dose regular the entire pregnancy so I didn't hurt her.

I feel so alone, and I am crying and in tears as I write this post. I love my children. I AM a good mother. I did not come here to be judged but to get help. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I just DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL HIM ABOUT THIS. Please help me. PLEASE.

I don't know what to do! How to help me and my baby, and how to not get her taken away. I have kept all of this in for so so long and now I just can't take it anymore. I know I need help, I know it. I just want my baby to be okay, and to be able to come home with me and without any of my or his family members knowing what I've been doing this entire time.

Please help me, I'll do anything for help and answers.

[mommyof32b]

Okay, thank you so much for that information. I really hope so! Thank you thank you thank you.

[dominosarah]

Make a call to the drs office if they havent gotten ahold of you in a bit.  As for the weight....I have a feeling once you get off the H you will start gaining some weight.  Talk with your OB about this too the next time you see him.  

You have taken such huge steps these last couple days!  I am so happy and relieved for you!!

[mommyof32b]

Thank you all again, for those who have given me advice. I honestly am shocked in MYSELF, that I didn't reschedule, and that I didn't lie to him and tell him it was pain pills. But I knew deep in my heart, where all of you touched me at, that I had to. For myself, and for my precious baby inside of me. I'm kind of on edge and emotional today, and hoping he doesn't forget about the phone call he told me he was going to make to try and get me some help. Is there ways to go about getting help on my own if he forgets? I will call the office here in a couple of hours and try and see if he's found anything out that will help. I just wanted help asap, and right now you guys are the best and only help and support I am getting. But I promise to you all that I am and WILL follow everything that my doctor directs me to do, and honestly I'm LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING SO. I couldn't be more happier to get help, I am just so drowned in relief....STILL it's like I just told him all over again, I feel like a new person. I know my daughter won't be taken away from me, and that she's doing perfectly fine. Her heartbeat is at a steady 150 yesterday, blood pressure was good, and I was measuring perfect.

I do have another question I would like to ask of you all, I eat and eat, never throw it up (unless I have very bad heartburn) but yet, I have only gained MAYBE 5 pounds this entire pregnancy...but yet I'm measuring how I should be. I WANT to gain more weight, I WANT FAT on my daughter when she is born. Not just skin and bones. Although the doctors tell me she's getting all of the weight, I just want myself to weigh more, and her to weigh more too. People tell me all the time that I look like I'm having twins, or I look like I'm about to pop....but I', not...Please help me with something on how I can gain weight, quickly, and not to where I have to eat a million things because my heartburn lately just can't tolerate it.

Thank you all again for your support, I've been thanking the good Lord for you all every single day that I wake up, and I LOVE coming to this forum and talking to you all.

Xoxo

[atthebeach]

Oh huni good for you! That was very brave if you, it could so some courage and you do it. I am very proud of you. Well done. I am sure you feel so much relief and a huge burden has been lifted.
I am so happy for you that he was so supportive and is going to help you.
Thanks for the update.
You are doing awesome.
Keep the faith.
Debbie

[dominosarah]

I am so proud of you!!!  And i am impressed with your doctor too.  Not all drs are supportive, pregnant or not.  Oh this is such a relief to read.  I knew you would feel better once the truth came out.   Now that we have this out of the way we can start helping you with the mental part of this addiction.  Just look how far you have come since you posted yesterday!!!!!!

[HenryS354]

I am so proud of you!  You have taken the first step to becoming a new woman!  Methadone isn't the end all/ be all, and in this situation may be the safest option for you and your baby.  It is far riskier to detox babies in utero than after birth which is why he is suggesting that you be maintained until you give birth and then start the actual detox process.  Take it day by day, and follow ALL of your doctor's recommendations.  Now, go get some good sleep now that you have some peace of mind.  Thats a huge load off your shoulders, now comes the leg work.  You've got this! :-)