Painful Times~

[dominosarah]

Many of us are going thru some very painful and devastating times on the forum.  There are so many questions and no easy answers.  These are the times where our addict brain goes into overdrive.  Our emotions are very foreign to us and we dont understand or know how to get thru the pain.  Our first thought is to use as we think this will help.  I can guarantee that this would only set all of us back and destroy us.  Using is NOT an option for us.  Nothing any of us are going thru is a reason to use.  We have to walk thru our grief, feel our emotions and place one foot in front of the other.  We have to stay close to those that support us and love us.  It is okay to feel things and i for one am grateful that i have been given another chance at life.  Together we will walk this path together~sara

[Teresa1717]

You are so right Sara and my urge to use tonight is SO strong and because of that I am on my way to a meeting! I cant let my grief destroy my future!! Thank you so much for your words and your support! All of you!!

xo~~Teresa

[Sonrissa]

Hi Sara, I know that my "urge to use" is so great right now, and none of this is directly happening to me! I have had such feelings of doom, and insecurity lately, and I just don't know why!

Anyway, my heart goes out to those of us who are struggling and suffering with all kinds of losses right now! We must stay strong together! We must keep fighting those urges!

Thank you!

[Dane74]

You know as i am approaching 9 months clean time, i am learning that life has its up's and down's, good days and bad, tragedy, laughter, happiness, etc, but as addicts we really didn't feel any of this, and now that we are clean its like a baby, we have to learn how to deal with life on lifes terms. It sounds so simple but when we medicated ourselves it just took all the pain and hurt away temporarily and then all the negative feelings would come back and we go ahead and just take so more pills, and so the cycle continues.  We are so strong for beating this addiction and we have to use our strength to live life free and clear and open minded.  I pray that one day we can be strong when faced with some sort of tragedy, loss, and just be "normal" and deal with life like non-addicts do.  That sure is my goal, I'm not there yet, i still crave, i still find it a challenge to stay clean, but i am noticing it does get easier.  There is so much HOPE for us, stay positive and fight, we can all do this!!!!

[Abby_916]

You are so right, Sarah. Today is just one of those days where I want to just  pop a pill and make these feelings "go away". Like you said though, using is not an not option. What we really need is each other right now. I know I need you guys a lot today. Good luck to us all.

[Brightfutureahead]

Sarah your words are encouraging and so true. There is a lot going on these days, for many of us, but there is strength we can all pull from on here...it is amazing

[Pat1956100]

What a great post Sara.
I hated how my first instinct was to reach for a pill when I was so upset yesterday.  I am so glad they weren't there.
I am so glad that I found the strength to post on this forum and so grateful for all the support I received.
It sounds like this forum has saved at least 2 people from relapsing this weekend.
Let's keep doing what we are doing and help each other win the battle of addiction.  It's working.

[IBKleen]

What a beautiful post honey. It seems everyone I talk with is having a crisis right now. I want so much to reach out and help and sometimes I don't know how. It pains me to see the members I have grown very fond of hurting. I want to take that hurt away. I am going to stick real close here and talk with as many people as I can. Together we can all get through this. I can't, WE can.

[conhall]

Thank you for this post Sara:)
Using is not an option. One foot in front of the other one day at a time.
I get up each day and first thing I see in the mirror is a post it Note that says
"getting clean is the easy part (the physical WD) staying clean (mental part) is where the real work begins"
Each day my life has gotten better and somedays are hard very hard and I struggle but I do the basics remember that the pills will never change my problems they just make them worse.
Everyday that I am clean is a better day than any day I used. This time last year My life felt hopeless and now I am working on making positive changes each day in my life.162 days clean  Thank you for this Post! thank you for all the people on this forum that remind me that I am never alone God Bless you!

[Bkitty]

This is so true. I want to numb these feelings so bad. I am so scared right now and all I want to do is run and hide. Hopefully tomm will bring some much needed answers. Im saying a prayer for everyone on here tonight and Im asking God to hold us all real tight. Goodnight. (((hugs)))~Bkitty

[akitagurl12]

Thank you for posting this, Sarah.  

[dominosarah]

I know you want to run and hide.  It comes down to that "fight" or "flight" issue.  Flight is what we are used to and when our past thoughts comes a knocking, we dont answer as we dont live there anymore.  We stand and fight now cuz we are so worth it~

[Free2agoodhome]

Nicely put

During thoughts of temptation....some small voice says to me " Just for today.....i'll pass on screwing up my life up"

I hope that voice speaks to everyone during those moments , as it has for me.

Thx sara

[dominosarah]

This is how my life has gone here, It was a wednesday when my mom passed, my coworkers dad passed on Friday, my mom's funeral was on that Saturday@10:30, my daughters consumer(who i also knew) died at 10:35 that Saturday.  I just found out 5 minutes ago a friend of mines brother just passed away of natural causes, he was 46 and a close friend of my brother.  This is just overwhelming.........

[Teresa1717]

Oh Sara :( Why are we all being tested so much??? I jsut dont understand it..Im so sorry...

[dominosarah]

I dont have a clue Teresa but we are survivors, we just have to be.

[Teresa1717]

I hope so Sara!  Its like being on a rollercoaster! Sometimes it makes me sick, other times I get incredible enjoyment out of it! Im just trying to hold on and keep from falling out!

[kyle505]

Thank you. This is the time of year (2 years apart) when both of my parents died. And, this will be the first holiday season in many years that I will be clean. It's like my head has its own podcast dedicated to the healing power of Norco. It never stops. But it does get better.
Thanks again.

[Success007]

Wow, powerful words from everyone.  It's very difficult time of year period even for the non user.   So it's really demanding . I didn't think about detox time, I just said enough.    A flighting moment hasn't tempted me, I'm scared to death of those pills,   I can't imagine starting all over,  day 5 but 3 week of tapering and being ill..... We all know this drill.  I pray it's our last time.  A
Fake scenes of life being good, now we face the good, bad and ugly. Whatever it is, " it's the real deal " .       Hold tight , we are like a team of sorts, fighting this together, miserably, but never the less, we will take away the prize of a healing mind.      I use to be an addiction counselor 12 yrs ago, if I go back,  I can now relate.     Stay strong ! Keep posting,  So proud of everyone's words on this post, thank you Sara  xox

[littlebit667]

The upcoming holidays come with their whole list of problems.  memories of those not with us, family gatherings with their dysfunctional interactions, etc.  We need to be very cautious during this time.

[clean_in_ks]

My belief is that true healing involves pain........
The new me has to learn diff ways to find comfort when in pain......
New ways are hard.......
Not masking pain is hard.......
But God always makes a way.....when there seems to be no way.
Living thru the pain without using will make us all stronger and even better able to "hold each other up"  Helping others helps us......
After the pain.......comes clarity...  and joys in our life taste that much sweeter!  
Blessings to all of you~

[dominosarah]

Thank you and you are so right~

[dominosarah]

Today we are all here, body and mind.  We have a baby growing, a friend who is showing signs of brain activity and pills in lock down.  Truely amazing~

[Pat1956100]

Anyone who is going through a sad time or just feel like they are going to use, please post.
I know it works.

[dominosarah]

How are you today Pat?