Go to the bottom of the page click on thomas recipe this will help with the withdrawals and the pain. Theres others on the forum that can help you to just hang on.
Welcome. You're in the right place. I was in your shoes 3 months ago. I know how you feel right now. I felt like I was totally screwed. I felt like the pills were eventually going to kill me, put me in jail or the psych ward. I feared the thought of withdrawal, because I too had been through it and it was no fun. My addiction ended up taking me to my own personal hell. I had to be willing to do anything to stop using. I had to be beaten. Finally, I was. I wanted to be clean more than I wanted to use. That was it for me. The detox sucked, but I made it through. Now, after 75 days, I have hope again, and freedom. I don't wake up and grab the pills on my nightstand and wait for them to work every single morning. I don't worry about when I'm going to run out or if my hook-up will have more when i need them.
Being clean means facing your life, and that's not easy, when we've spent so much time running from it. But it's extremely rewarding when you know you can handle whatever the day brings...CLEAN. Stick around. Keep posting. Jump in and don't look back!
Let me say I felt the same way about thinking I dont wanna b sober(300+days ago).Hadnt been n so long(basically on something since17or18(30now).1st u need2look n2aftercare w/o support u wont get through it.Also it takes longer than10,30,90days2feel100%normal sober.By that I mean yes u will feel better but u need aftercare&time2learn how2deal w/life w/o pills as a crutch2not deal w/stress,sadness whatever.U have2train ur brain not2celebrate,cope,get energy etc from the pills.When u start using u basically stunt ur developement of maturing n2an adult.N just a few months I feel like a grown30yr old(not a kid which I never realized til a few months n2sobriety.Please feel free to pm me anytime Ill tell u anything help u on this journey2freedom.I can tell u I have bad days but many more good.Cravings do fade.u cant do this alone.I c an addictipn specialist+therapy(therapy is for other stuff.Ur here reaching out thats a huge&u will get tons of support,no judgement.we r lile a huge awesome family thats disfuntional
Man this is tough going through it once again up and sooo tired and can't sleep I took a few Benadryl with no effect at all can't sleep this is crazy how I can't even get a night if sleep and it *****. It is hard to do this by yourself I have no body to lean on every one I have tried to get help does NOT understand the situation at all I hate people saying just stop and even heard it is not hard just don't take them. I want to smack them so bad but I know they just are clueless to the situation and don't understand and probably never will. I need some one to smack me so my head is straight I would love to get a very bad beating from some one if it would make this all go away and wake up from this bad dream. Unfortunately it is not that simple is it? I need help some one to talk to how can I give my email for support? A50stang is my email yahoo would be the place I don't know if that will work but I hope it does I hope some one can reach out to me and help god bless every one and especially those that have beat this.