I have attempted to post a few questions but not working

[countache]

Hi all, hope this works . Second part of my day total crap. Took 5 mls at noon to stop stomach cramps and achy back and took an other 5 tonight for mental stress. Took Imodium too which prevented runs from coming. Had a very stressful night so far. My kid had a bad day. Trying to comfort him. Not so easy when I am depressed myself but I did what I could. By Thursday I will be done with the taper. You think symptoms will amp up even tho all I have experiences was seldom sweats and mild stomach and back cramps ? I was able to have a 5 mile run after the 5 mls at noon which stopped the symptoms. I am down for 5 10/325's a day two weeks ago which I took for about a year and more or less similar intake for about 4 years prior to that. Sorry to ramble. Just feeling sad and miserable tonight and would love to take an other pill but I AM NOT DOING IT. Anyway I have no way to get more as I deleted that " friend " who I want to punch really hard right now. I should just be punching myself as j got myself into this mess tho she certainly didn't help matters. She even has money from me that she never made good on. ( or bad on , I should say). Anyway this is life now so I have to pray and try to appreciate that j am still here.  Thank to all of you who are listening

[VICourageous]

I DITTO Gnarly all the Way here!! Very, Very TRUE and to the point!!!!!

I too started at the age 13-14 and got clean at 56. Addiction runs very deep. The hard part is the Mental and trying to live life Clean & Sober without running to get a substance to change your Mindset at the time. For fun,too party, too get wired up & work, any reason at all, up to having some bad things happen, it all has to be changed or worked on in a whole other way in life.We cannot do this alone. It is a WE thing like he said.
I also found that learning all I can about Addiction in a more Scientific way, has helped me to understand what type of drugs, do what to those Brain Chems and so fourth, However, it takes me to live the Spiritual side of life to get through these days. I really enjoy my AA because it seems to be so much more Spiritual. Both AA/NA are great Support. I also find my Church to be so Supportive too. We just need others to lean on for more Strength in these times. NOT someone or others that will drain all your good strength from you.
The physical part of the detox will be over sooner. It is the Brain Chems that have to adjust back after we remove these type of drugs.
Make sure you are drinking tons of fluids to help rid these toxins out too. Water is the best, and as I had said before, pick up some of those vit/min that come in packets to add to your water. You will find some vit/min to help relax you, to some that will help you get going. YOU still will have some w/ds and have to go through these so called stages, but the timing and the intensiveness of it all depends from on person to the other. Lots of factors play in, like age, health, how long on has used, and how many pills or such they have come off of. YOU can do it!!! Just take it min by min at first. It will take TIME & PATIENCE..Trust me, I still have these issues too this day and it has been over 3yrs. YOU will finally learn how to live in your own Mind and Body. The Physical, Mental and Spiritual, has to find it's balance and on it's own Time. Just stick around here for Support too, also you can help yourself by helping others along the way.
Hope you have a Merry Christmas!
Vickie

[countache]

Thanks Vickie. I will do as you said and stick around. I will try to find a good church in my neighborhood. All th ya Catholic school kind of pushed me back a bit. So many of those priests and nuns hard to connect with. But I know good ones are out there. Time to start counting my blessings and getting God back in my life. Thanks again and I will check in tomorrow.  Peace and love

[jifmoc]

What Gnarly said...times 2!!!

Count- just go my friend. After a while, you'll wonder why you waited so long.

[countache]

Thanks jifmoc. I know you are right !

[gnarly_1]

Hey girl.....well you had a bad day....this is life on lifes terms...your really doing great just stick with it....keep in mind this is 1/3 phyical and 2/3 mental...today you took some for stress ...you will find it a lot harder mentally... then physically....  like me and most of us we take the pills to ''just take the edge off it''' and they work well... this is where the ''mental mindscrew'' come in to play... it is hard to do life without mothers little helper and you will need to retrain your brain....most addicts do not have good copping skills  this is just one of the benefits of N/A it will teach you how to do life on lifes terms without the help of a pill...I started using one drug or another at 14 and dident stop until I was 47...I had no idea how to get threw life without something to take the edge off a bad day....I was tarifed at the thought of it...you will find getting clean is the ez part this is only the start  long after the pills stop you still stuck with the addict that is alive and well inside your head...I cant stress enough how important aftercare is...I have  tryed most  but the N/A progam has given me my life back  it gives your life structure  something most addicts dont have  it give you some plase to share anything that is going on where you wont be judged and the people will understand ...My wife was very support of  me and she truly wanted to help  but when I shared things with her I always got that ''deer in the headlight stare''...''normies'' just dont get it...addicts open up parts of the brain that normies never feel making it all but impossible for them to understand....with the N/A progam...one addict helping another addict is  without parallel  because one addict can best understand another addict....I know this may all sound foreign to you and the thought of going to a meeting with a bunch of strangers is out of most peoples comfort zone...I was tarafied the first time I went all I did was lissen went to another one and lissend more..all the storys people shared about seamed like they where reading my mind..how could they possible know the  way the very way I think  react and respond...the one common denominator...we where all addicts....after a few more meeting I finely got the courage up to share  and for the first time it was like a giant weight was lifted off me...I then stared to stay after the meeting to get to know some of the people  I found them to be friendly caring and full of support....today I have made many close friends and real friends that truly want to help and care about my well being  I no long feel alone in all this.. what I cant do myself we as a group can overcome when I rolled my jeep I was in the hospital for 10 days from the first day I had groups of friends coming up to cheer me up...to help me get threw what had happened  they even helped my wife by watching  the kids so we could spend some time together it almost killed me but I dident have to go threw it alone...enough said Google a N/A meeting near you and step out of your comfort zone and go  you dont even have to be clean  the only requirement for joining is the desire to quit...now you can choose to go it alone  this is not recameded most dont make it...this is a ''we'' program not a 'i' progam...you can sit there and get overwhelmed by all this  or just take the chance that this old dope fiend in phoenix az  may just know what it takes to do this...tonight you could be sharing how crappy your day was  and how alone you feel and exactly how tarafed you or of what is to come....I cant over emasize how much this will help in your recover  google a N/A meeting in your area and go...................................Gnarly..........................

[countache]

Gnarly Phoenix seems to be a great piece for healing. My bro came of heroin there. Been clean for 20 years. He ended up buying a place and going back there every few weeks to recharge even after all these years. We are New Yorkers but In Phoenix he has all his friends from NA  . He loves it there. He is coming back this week to be with us for Christmas. I will open up to him. Ask him about meetings in NY . He will be here Thursday. You have probably seen my big bro in the rooms out there. Thanks again Gnarly. Hard part will be sharing with my big bro that his baby sis who was always his good girl is in crises mode. I love him so much . I know he will help me. Peace and love and I will check in tomorrow.