Percs have been flushed!

[Mominhell]

I've been back posting here and there for a couple days now and have decided I needed to do something drastic.  Last month I flushed 2 and a half weeks of pills and went back for my refill...WHY???  Ugh!  No looking back now...I can't live like this anymore!  I'm miserable and want me back!  I'm still on Fentanyl...75mcg every 3 days.  I'm not sure what to do about that.  Any thoughts?  I know it's crazy giving up the Percs first but I can't have them around...I love them too much.  So they are gone and here I am...feeling empowered but a little lost...I have a long road ahead but I know it's time!

[Mominhell]

Hi Lu!  My sweet friend!  I'll be writing a PM to you ASAP...rough nite and morning!  

Thank you everyone for your input.  My Pain Doc had me on Fentanyl and Percs for b/t pain.  I've had a slew of medical issues...Lu knows for sure.  But I've basically had 7 surgeries in 4 years and my last one was a complete disc replacement last October.  

I want to be clean but I also know that I'm on too much medication and want to feel like me again you know?  See where my pain is really at.  I have to get to the point where I can responsibly take pain meds without abusing them cuz they may be needed considering my conditions...or maybe not?

All I know is I'm ready now and want to do this!  

I'm about to sit and fess up to my hubby...say some prayers!

Thank you my MH friends! xoxoxo

[lulu747]

I totally agree with Connie CIKS.  This is what I pm'd you about.  But Connie and I are opposites.  I LOVED oxycodone and could never take it properly.  Hydrocodone does not have the same effect on me and it why I requested it when I had to go on meds pre surgery.  It makes me nauseous and I HATE being nauseous, and I never get a buzz.  This is what we are trying to do.  If you MUST take a pain med, and you want to do a taper (which you have to with the fentanyl) It is much more prudent to take something which you don't 'like' so much.  Any pain doc worth his salt is going to understand this.  You need to sit down with him, come up with a plan- I would take your husband to your appointment so that everyone is on the same page and you can get set up for success!  It's time to lift the burden from your shoulders and fight to get clean.  You honestly have no idea how much pain you're actually in.  I know I didn't when I was on that much.
I was pretty much EXACTLY in your shoes in 2010.  By December 2011 I was clean.  By February 2012 I was pretty much pain free- something me and my doctors did not think was possible.
So it may be a long road, prepare for that.  Having a plan in place will make you feel so much better.
I pinky swear promise.
Lu

[clean_in_ks]

I think if your pain doc knows you realize you have messed up by taking this into your own hands....that he may very well be open to putting you on another short acting opiate for breakthrough pain while weaning you off the fent.patch.  We each have different brain chemistries...and some people MAJORLY abuse hydrocodone.....and others MAJORLY abuse oxycodone.  If "I" were to need a pain med for some reason, I would make darn sure they did NOT give me hydros cause that's what I became addicted to and abused.

There are some very specific medical reasons to wean off the fent patch FIRST and then the short acting.  SO much stronger.....and the w/drawals are much different than a short acting opiate.  I would be honest and ask for his help......and then if he's willing to reduce your patch gradually and also willing to try you on another short acting....if you find yourself abusing that one, too.....it's time for someone else to be in control of your meds.

[saspan]

why do you even take percs when your on something as strong as fentanyl ?you should come clean with your doctor asap! what are your goals here. are you trying to cut back or get clean.?you have to make up your mind and tell him your an addict and go from there. you might want to consider some inpatient treatment,where they can detox you properly with a minimum amount of w/d's. your playing with fire wearing a patch and loading on top of that. don,t be scared to ask doc for help.  peace out!!!!!!

[Mominhell]

Hi friends!  Yes, my Doc can definitely taper me with the Fentanyl.  The thing is, he doesn't know about my struggles with the Percs.  Thank you for the thoughts and posts and reaching out...means so much to me.  I'm not sure what to tell him and when to tell him...I don't want to lose him as my Pain Doc.  Will he get mad that I flushed them?  The plan was to go down on the Fentanyl this month and the Percs would help with that.  I just messed up on the Percs so bad and well, what do I do?  I was at 75mcg every 2 days with the Fentanyl...he put me to 63mcg.  I worked it out having the 50's patches and 12's patches to still do 75mcg but every 3 days while I get off the Percs.  When I see him next I want to go to 63mcg but I don't know if he'll give me something for that taper pill wise...I can't have the Percs...I love them too much!  Ugh...what to do?  I'm so done with this roller coaster!  You are all so inspiring how you've battled through this...thank you for being there again...SO MUCH!

[marycarmel]

I agree with Pat about going slw with the Fentanyl. Very slow.  Can your doc taper you?  

[Gettingalifeagain]

Hi,
I certainly know what it is like to try and quit perc right away.  I tried to taper on my own, but it didn't help.  I needed to have them unaccessible to me, as well as alcohol, so I checked myself into a detox centre for 11 days, in order to be safe and away from the stuff that was killing me.  It gave me enough time to set up some aftercare, and make a plan, I had to reach out....

[Pat1956100]

Ugh Fentanyl is so brutal.  I think you need to go very slow.  Talk to your doctor about a good taper plan.
I know about the lover for percs and they are so easy to abuse for me.  I haven't had any for awhile but I still dream about the poison that they are for me.  
Most would suggest you stop the fentanyl first and then the percs but you hae to do what's best for you.  Everyone is different.
Good luck and be proud.
You're here trying.

Hugs
Pat

[Mominhell]

We aren't alone!  Be proud of the HUGE steps you've taken!  This is a battle that so many have own and we will too!  How long have you been on opiates for?
I've always received them through my Pain Doc for ongoing medical issues and I'm afraid of the pain that I'll have not having meds...especially when I'm off the Fentanyl but I need to feel like me again and see just how much pain I have you know?  Day by day...one step, one minute at a time right?  Thanks for writing and please know I'm here if you need anything!

[sodonemom]

Hi!
Good for u! I know very well what it is to LOVE Percs. I am currently trying to quit but not quite c/t. I might make it 24 hrs and then cave from the pain and take 2. But it's a far cry from 15 a day. So I don't feel like a total failure! I know this is probably only dragging my w/d out but it's the only way I've been able to cope so far. It's only been 4 days but everyday I keep trying to be strong. So good for you to be able to take control of your life. I don't know much about the patch but I do know it's considered to be super strong and maybe you will need some help getting off of it. There are lots if great people here to help. Keep posting is what they say. I'm new to this forum and mostly just read. But it does help so much to know you are NOT alone.
Take care.