Please help me get through detox :(

[NeedingHope4Me]

I know it is very different for everyone when they detox..BUT Im hoping for some type of help w/what to expect(what you experienced and how long and what you did to get through that helped)
I have Lupus & my body has always had issues w/horrible bouts of kidney stones.I was also born with congenital hip displasia had my first hip surgery in my late teens &back issues due to a bad car accident.
I was started off slow about 8 years ago & ended up after just one year going from a few Vicodin's a day to Fentanyl patches 100mgs& oxys for breakthrough pain. I lost my PCP(due to the HMO no longer being in exsistance & they wouldnt take cash or straight medical) &nothing instantly my DR wouldnt even help he refused to even taper me.BTW I was showing up to refill my script so i now had nothing immediately..I called every DR & no one would take what they consider a "cronic " care patient.I went through horrible withdrawals for a few days till i sadly decided to buy some from someone..I felt like a junkie &was miserable.Ive been getting them over the last 2 years this way including loosing every cent i had,pawning my possessions &begging everyone i knew.I wanted to die so many times.
I now have taken my very last dose of my fentanyl &have in my purse just 2 norcos.I have motrin &benadryl.Im going to have to do this no matter what..I need to know what your day 1,2,3 and up to week whatever it took to feel like the old you was like please..
Thank you very much in advance for any help..I may not be able to respond but i will be watching and hoping for anything helpful!!

[toothfairie]

hi....i know what you mean about no patience, i have none.....there are days....often that i want to feel better NOW....not a week or 2-3 but now......i know it's getting better but feels like it drags on sometimes......but you are doing SO great!!  we just have to learn to pace ourselves and know the good stuff will take time....thanks for keeping us updated....we are here for you!

[NeedingHope4Me]

Thanks guys for keeping me slightly sane..lol I just listened to random music and heard michael jacksons man in the mirror and have NO idea why i bawled so hard my tummy hurts ..awesome..

I am on day 6 now and actually dont want the meds as much as i want this because it feels like i gave myself no way out so now or never..oh wait I DID lol i have no dealer and no money for anything YAY ME!! ;) But i do admit that feeling of wanting instant satisfaction of all better me ..i in normal life have a patience tolerance of ZERO its so bad i stomp my feet and pout after five min of not getting what i felt i really wanted haha but thankfully i have learned over my 30 some odd years to control that impulse but wow with these strong meds its hard i wanna stop super hard ..

[toothfairie]

congrats on hanging in there!!  i know it's a rough road me and many many other people have been thru WDs.....but you have gotten this far!!  keep going!  we are all here for you....just keep posting and eat when you can but most of all hydrate!  you are doing great!!!  

[Pat1956100]

Wow, you are really going through hell.  I am not going to suggest you go out and get anything because I don't think you could do it right now.
As soon as you feel up to it (lol) get some boosts or ensures.  They are really easy getting down, taste good and are full of nutrients.  Also Gatorade.  You really need to keep hydrated right now because dehydration would really add to your problems.
I hope you will feel better soon.  Again, I have only detoxed from oxy and that was bad enough so my heart really goes out to you.
Keep fighting, and congrats on the shower and shave.  I bet you feel so proud for accomplishing that.

[NeedingHope4Me]

I just realized btw that its now 5 full days without anything ..wow..

[NeedingHope4Me]

Thank you for the moral support and for reminding me that this is as much for them as for me..actualy more for them tbh because i could have lived in misery as sad as that sounds but they need so much more from me as a mom..i was remmebering back when i was the best mom ever and I was PTA president and helped in each of their classrooms..I would bring fresh baked goodies at the end of every week and a new movie for the class anytime one came out..I have only been to my kids school now )NCE  in many years and it was because my daughter was graduating from elementry..i took plenty of meds and was still miserable but i did it and all i wanted was to be home in my bed staring at this stupid screen..thats the mom i became and thats the mom i no longer wanna be..i just saw my youngest get up and i could barely manage a "morning" for him and it sucked but i had one win today already and that was i got up and took a long hot shower and even shaved..i feel like i at least dont stink lol yay me it was BRUTAL i was shaking and couldn't catch my breath sooo many times..oh well a win is a win and i will take ANY at this point..ok well i am feeling like i need to eat as much as im terrified of it i have to ..so wish me luck and PLEASE keep writing ..i am only getting through this with your guys help i mean it!!