How do I get my life back?!? Help please!!

[FairyDust25]

Please somebody any body help me.. or at least try to tell me how I can start to get my life back. I am a 25 year old married woman. I have everything. A wonderful husband. Kids. A big beautiful house and I get to be a stay at home mom. My life was perfect before I had my 2nd baby. I love that little girl more than life and would not change her for the world. But she "broke" me. Shes worth every pain I feel but now I need to get control of my life back.

It all started when I was diagnosed with firbo. A few months ago. Thats when I started taking Tramadol about 6 months ago. And then when the tram runs out I take vicodin laying around that I bouce between these 2 drugs for pain relief. I dont know what to do anymore. I really do have legitimate pain and I dont just take the drugs for a "high" but I have become so severely depressed over this **** that all I do all day is lay in bed. My body hurts with ever move I make and it depresses me so  much. I am not dependant on theese pills just to move and I dont want to be. I just want to be a wife and mother again. My husband is fully aware of what is going on with me and he continues to be extreamly supportive. I just dont know. I feel like my life is wasting away. Like I am just waiting around to die, and I dont know what to do. I am on Zoloft for the depression but it seems not to be working as well as I had hoped. I just need to find someway to regain controll of my life and STOP feeling sorry for myself. No one in my family aside from my husband knows what I am going though. Most of my family moved the AZ so I have no one. I have no one to talk to about anything. Please please please someone give me some advice. I know I need to get off the pills I just dont know how to do that when I am in so much pain. Anything anyone has to say.. please? Help!!

[janet19]

I wish all luck fairy, you sure have come to the right place for answers. I read a post today about tram's being addictive I was shocked when I heard it. I always thought they were non narcotic shows what I know about them, you also said you were using vics in between. first thing to do is get those out of the house if you can. Some of your pain could be rebound pain from drug use. I am an addict and I admit it easily these days. I have come long way in the past four months. Please try to get out of bed each morning and if you don't do anything else all day take a shower. Set small goals for yourself and you will start showing your self that yes I can do this.

You will be in my prayers and I wish you luck.

[bmdad]

Sorry you are so depressed and in pain but that will more than likely end when you do stop the pills. I did say "when you do" because it is exactly what you need to do. Although I don't have fibro I do deal with chronic pain as do many others here. Almost everyone will agree that the pills cause more pain. Even physical pain. You will find out that your pain will be manageable once you get off the pills. When withdrawing you will experience more pain than normal but that will subside. Don't think that after a week or two that you are in too much pain and start using again. It is rebound pain and it will get better. Opiates are not meant to take long term for pain. There are always other ways to manage pain and with technological advances there are new things to try all the time. The sooner you get off the pills the better. With tolerance you will keep needing more and more and before you know it your habit will go from what you are taking now to 5 times the amount or more. You might think that will not happen but I use to think the same thing when I was warned.
Now for the withdrawals. There are things that will make them more bearable. In the health pages, check in to the amino acid protocol. It lists a bunch of vitamins and supplements that will help your mind and body get back on track much faster. It also helps with the mental aspect of wanting to swallow pills. Be sure to eat healthy, push the good fluids, and exercise. Exercise makes all the difference. I know it can be hard to muster up the energy to do so, but force yourself even if it's just a short walk around the block at first. You will soon find out that you can keep on walking for a few miles. It feels great. Also do your best to not lay around. Laying around waiting for the withdrawals too subside tend to drag them out by weeks. I'm sure you get my point, stay busy!! Get some funny movies, do a jigsaw puzzle, pick up a good book, anything to keep your mind occupied. So, do not lay around waiting for the withdrawals to end. Before you know it you will have so much energy you won't know what to do with it all!
Just hang in there and know it does get better. It will take some time but it's worth every second of the pain we have to go through to get there. Keep a strong mindset and fight with everything you have. You will come out on the other side and it is a great feeling!
You can do this.
Best of luck!

Brian

[FairyDust25]

Thank you so so much for responding. Its so nice to know that I am not alone with this. I know the pills do more bad than good but how do you just stop when you are in such pain? I know I dont want to be like this anymore. When you said to "find my joy in my childerns precious faces, it really touched a nerve. My kids are my babies and I love them more than anything and I never really thought about it like that. Thank you so much for that insight. I am really trying hard to get myself out of this mess but I guess I can only go one day at a time. Somedays are better then others and then somedays are really bad!! But maybe when the pills stop some of the pain will stop? Well at least thats what I am hoping..

[Krassy]

Hey dont worry.....your not alone. I'll talk to you. I have Fibro too. I was diagnosed in 1998. I formed an addiction to pain killers. You dont want to go down that road. It's harder to fight an addiction than the underlying cause (Fibro).
    I have found a few things through the years that helped me. Moderate excercise, nothing excessive, I just turn on music with a good beat to get my feet moving. Do "silly" dancing in front of and with the kids. My kids got such a kick out of that.We laughed so hard.  It cheered us all up. (Even my husband was laughing, when he walked in on us!) LOL.
    Another thing I do, after the kids are in bed, I draw a hot bath, sink down up to my neck and just soak in it. Also a long hot shower beating on the back of my neck feels great.
    My advice to you is, put the painkillers down. It's hard, I know. But well worth it in the end. Let your body heal. Enjoy your children, find your joy in their precious faces. Find a new routine. Break out of the rut you're in. Try new things. I know that it is easier said than done. But please for yourself, your husband and your children, never stop trying.
    

[FairyDust25]

I would just like to clarify to everyone.. that i am in no way shape or form suicidal. I am just sad and overall depressed about the turn my life has taken... but I in no way want to inflict harm upon myself...