Aa
Back Again and I need HELP!!!
Those of you who have followed me on my journey know its been a long road. I never have been addicted to anything in my life. I had a surgerical injury that caused me 19 surgeries later and 3 yrs of being sick. So thats the short of it how I got hooked to pain pills. I successfully have got off them several times now. Recently been clean for 6 months. Last month I was rushed to ER for my issue and went home with a script of Norcos. Took all of them and yes more than prescribed. Got some more, bought some more, and I'm done!!! Been a month back on. Today is day 2 of no more pills. I am sick!!! I am depressed. I can't function and I hate these pills. I have really realized that I am addict and need help. I need to go to counseling or something. I need to admit it to someone. Just needed to get this off my chest. I loved being free and myself again. I want it back. Scared for whats to come tonight....no sleep....crying...
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Just wanted to check in with everyone!!! I am much better!!! Clean....sober...skinnier.....and feeling wonderful. Sleep ***** but ROME wasn't built in a day, so I will take what I can get. I worked all week, survived the weekend, and actually feel good. I have very little mental issues. Was devasated earlier this week. Crying, moody, but today I feel wonderful. I just wanted to check in with you all and thank you for your support. The WD's are horrible for me. The fear of them and the fear of running out of pills are the biggest fears. Now I don't have either cause I'm clean! That feels amazing. I even had a migraine so bad, I took tyelonol and I was fine. This freedom is worth more than anything.
Hang in there, Dee. Try to keep busy and remember we are all pulling for you here- we ALL know what you're going through and can feel it in your posts. Keep your head up, Girl!!
I barely have eaten today. Its night time and I am freaking out. Crying and then angry. I just wish this emotional roller coaster would go away. As far as Xanex goes...I never liked the stuff ever....so I have some just to sleep. They are so not my thing. I want to be like all those people out there who have their lives back. Seems like a distant dream.
I understand you have real pain issues, a lot of addicts do, and no doubt it's difficult. You admit that you're kind of powerless over them, and you haven't been able to take them as Rx'ed, so that's good that you recognize that.
You need to work with your doc to come up with a plan. Just because you're an addict doesn't mean your pain issues won't be addressed, it will just be much more difficult.
Careful with the Xanax too!
You need to work with your doc to come up with a plan. Just because you're an addict doesn't mean your pain issues won't be addressed, it will just be much more difficult.
Careful with the Xanax too!
I took a Xanex to sleep last night and thank you I slept 7 hours. I feel rested but my stomach is sick. I go back to work today since I quit. This will be interesting. Hope I work though the day. I could stay home and take a vacation day but I think sitting at home is worse. All I can do is cry when I sit still. If I am busy it helps the time pass. Thank you all for your support.
I have come clean with my docs...but I have a very complex medical history...with bilary strictures and liver duct strictures....that have all been replaced with intestine now..my intestines kink and stricture and I am SEVERE pain..I don't take these pills daily even think about them daily when I was off of them. I was on them for these issues for 3 years and sooner than you know it I was hooked. I just don't know what it is about these things. I was really sick. The doc prescribed me a small amount and I want to take all of them. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do this with anything. Its so depressing to me. I am tired today and sick. Sicker than two days ago.
I agree with all of the above.
The most freeing move you will make IMO is coming "clean" with all of your docs, and any practitioner you would get meds from . They need to know you're an addict so that there's accountability. With them not knowing, there is none, AND also they are one of your main sources.
IMO, that needs to be your step one, talking to any and all of your docs, telling them what's going on and ask them for help. Then, tell a trusted person in your life, so you're held accountable on THAT end.
Then start formulating your plan. Your plan needs to cover pain scenarios, you and your docs need to come up with an acceptable way to handle situations where you're in real pain and may really need something for pain.
You need to plan for aftercare...therapy, meetings, etc. You can never do too much but you can always NOT do enough. The latter will get you in trouble. An addict must never become complacent. The guard must always stay up.
Best to you, good luck!
The most freeing move you will make IMO is coming "clean" with all of your docs, and any practitioner you would get meds from . They need to know you're an addict so that there's accountability. With them not knowing, there is none, AND also they are one of your main sources.
IMO, that needs to be your step one, talking to any and all of your docs, telling them what's going on and ask them for help. Then, tell a trusted person in your life, so you're held accountable on THAT end.
Then start formulating your plan. Your plan needs to cover pain scenarios, you and your docs need to come up with an acceptable way to handle situations where you're in real pain and may really need something for pain.
You need to plan for aftercare...therapy, meetings, etc. You can never do too much but you can always NOT do enough. The latter will get you in trouble. An addict must never become complacent. The guard must always stay up.
Best to you, good luck!
COMMUNITY LEADER
You need to get honest with your doctor. Leaving those doors open sets us up for relapse. Aftercare will help also.
If you really want to stop then your addiction needs to be a part of your medical record. Work with your doctor; find someone who you can trust. Have that person monitor your meds in case this happens again.
But I bet you know this. It is really basic. What's difficult is putting a recovery plan in place. If you don't you will relapse again and again. I did for 15 years.
K
But I bet you know this. It is really basic. What's difficult is putting a recovery plan in place. If you don't you will relapse again and again. I did for 15 years.
K
You know most of us have been on the YO YO ride and there will come a time when you will be tired of being on that string I promise ! Lets hope this is that time . So don't feel guilty about relapse it is so part of total recovery . Stay on the boards and read some of our old post and explore our journeys to this point . I think you will see what I'm talking about .. Stay strong . Jimmy
" I have really realized that I am addict and need help. "
Thats great...now its time for you to follow through. Aftercare is very important and you mentioned counseling which is good. Set up a plan now. You know the drill with the detox part. You are on day 2 so you will have a few more days of feeling bad and then the skies the limit. Just stay the course...look at what you did last time and how you ended up in this situation and what you will do differently so you dont end up back here again. Relapse is a part of the process (IMO)
Hope to hear how you are doing.
Always,
ABN
Thats great...now its time for you to follow through. Aftercare is very important and you mentioned counseling which is good. Set up a plan now. You know the drill with the detox part. You are on day 2 so you will have a few more days of feeling bad and then the skies the limit. Just stay the course...look at what you did last time and how you ended up in this situation and what you will do differently so you dont end up back here again. Relapse is a part of the process (IMO)
Hope to hear how you are doing.
Always,
ABN
Hi Dee
Just draw on your past clean time experience and know that you will get through this and I hope it does not take too long for you to start feeling better.Hang in there my friend. You can do this!! ;)
Just draw on your past clean time experience and know that you will get through this and I hope it does not take too long for you to start feeling better.Hang in there my friend. You can do this!! ;)
Welcome back! I just wanted to throw some support your way. It sounds like you know the drill with the withdrawls. I'm sorry you are going through it again. What are you doing different this time as far as after care and preventing another relapse? Have you cut off all your sources? I am glad that you are back here and wish you nothing but the best of luck!
welcome back!! sorry you are having to deal with WDs again....but you know it does get better...and sorry you have the health issues as well....how do you plan to control your pain, or are you pain free now?
as you know the depression, and all the emotions as well as physical are all part of the WDs...just hang in there....with a little time it does get better...don't psych yourself out about it...just push thru like you did before...and know we are here for you....take one day, one hour, one minute at a time...you will get thru this....and do you have some type of aftercare planned for when you feel better? you are doing an amazing thing by wanting off the pill roller coaster again....you are strong to realize that you need help. Keep posting for support, we can help.
as you know the depression, and all the emotions as well as physical are all part of the WDs...just hang in there....with a little time it does get better...don't psych yourself out about it...just push thru like you did before...and know we are here for you....take one day, one hour, one minute at a time...you will get thru this....and do you have some type of aftercare planned for when you feel better? you are doing an amazing thing by wanting off the pill roller coaster again....you are strong to realize that you need help. Keep posting for support, we can help.
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This doesn't need to happen to you because you just posted. You've taken immediate action! We are susceptible to relapse. But we do recover from them. You've stopped and now you're clean 2 days. Hang on to that recovery and run to the bank with it. I heard a good one at a recent meeting: "Remember that it's much easier to look from the edge down into the hole, then looking back up from the bottom of the hole." You're a winner by doing what you're doing. Keep coming back, work hard on your program of recovery and always know as addicts our addiction is lurking, waiting to slay us. Welcome back and congratulations on your decision to stop and post!