10 days off suboxone ughh

[Kelly98_]

I just want to sleep right! Ive been on suboxone for 6 yrs and ive finally just quit cold turkey and its been ruff as ever but my pins and needles are gone now im just cold and clammy and never really comfortable yet! But I have to continue and at night im taking melatonin to help me sleep at least 3 hrs but what I wouldnt do for a real nights rest! I have night terrors and panic but for the most part I can sit still during the day and eat. Its not easy im not gonna lie but im trying to find a recovery center I can go into for at least 30 days! I need to keep positive about this and thank god I have a mother who cares because I almost slipped yesterday I even had her drive me to walgreens but she spied on me and saw me pick up a script of 8 suboxone my doc called in so ya cravings are still hard to deal with! But how long till I sleep right? Nobody should ever go on this antagonist because it is harder to get off of!

[Neveragain63]

Thank you for you post. We all need to know the evils of drugs. 9 days off subs. It started as a Friday night thing and 18 months later was a everyday need. I tapered to 1/8 of a strip for 3 days, then stopped 9 days ago. I take withdrawel ease, B complex, and eat. I feel ok, tired, weak, too much lethargy, but my body is pissed at me. This still feels soooooo much better then days 2-7. They sucked real bad.

[Kelly98_]

Hey guys wow day 29 and I'm sorry but my daughter got on my phone and erased my bookmarks so I forgot what my username and password was well then I went into my mail and found a way to get back in then it hit me when I saw my username! Lots of brain faurts this month! Well I'm only snezzing maybe once a day now! Lol there are symptoms others notice that I don't which is talking a lot! Anxiety is part of it I guess! But I feel great! I'm running up stairs and I helped this elderly lady today and it was like she was my angel by her preaching her prayers to me and the lord! She had the bluest of eyes and smelled of heavenly flowers everytime she hugged me! When really I guess I was her angel today! I had got hit hard 2 nights ago! I was having these thoughts that my kids were angry with me also finding out while my husband is in jail he is bed ridden in the hospital after a heart attack and a blood clot in each lung and needs a liver transplant! 29days ago I spent my first night in jail ever! 8 days I spent in their and had no choice but to go ct and this was my last hoora! Cus I lost everything! This was my bottom! 7 yrs ago getting on subs I wanted to be done! Well after 4 attempts in dtx for 7 days each time it never worked cus I had to go home to kids and I was sick like day one! This time I tuffed it out! It helped they go to school half the day! I'm on my own and my mother is trying to help and understand! My kids are lashing out at me! But not today! I think why I got hit so hard was the husband thing! My older daughters father died shooting up and this was in 2006 and my father died 6 months later after being sober 7 yrs! I'm not sure what happened but I've been numb for so long and now its all flashing back! So ya its emotional for sure! But today I was okay and happy! Today is all I worry about! What is it that people get offended when u say u have to be shelfish? I guess I'm also wondering why we want so much attention? Is this bad? Idk? But I'm loving that I'm experiencing little signs that god is there for me! Sounds silly but he is! I see it and I feel it and I don't want to ever lose it again! If I help me god helps me! Ya I like that! I only wish I quit suboxones and heroin and pills and uppers a long time ago! Somehow I still played mom and got my kids what they wanted but my full attention! These kids want me to listen! I'm trying! I tell them this and I tell them we have to understand on a level what were all going thru! They're asking people to please pray for me! I love them so much! Okay well I have to go pick my daughter up from work! I'm blessed to have had and still have all of your help! I'm trying to figure out the friend thing and communities and journals on here so sorry if I still haven't figured out how to request any of u! Lots of love! Bye for now! Tomorrow my big 30! Yay go me! Goodnight everyone!

[gopherboo2]

thanks so much for your care and concern..i didn't realize no one can tell a person on here how to taper off..my apolozies! but, you seem like a very strong person to me, and if you did this cold turkey, i admire you for that! im a weak person who won't or maybe don't want to give the strips up. I'm afraid I will start seeking the Vicodins back, or maybe that is just my excuse, but I'm tired of having to depend on pills or now the suboxone's. I don't know you, but Im proud of your accomplishments and pray to have your strength at giving this stuff up. Keep up your good work, and again, thanks for helping me as well...

[motye51]

Wow....that's freakin awesome! A rehab that allows you to bring your children!  That is a miracle unto itself.  You are a very lucky person you found that.  I wish you all the best and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!  Good Luck!

[VICourageous]

I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! WAY TO GO!!! lol

[Kelly98_]

Thanks everyone! Its amazing I've made it this far! I'm so proud of me! I went ct and never threw up and yes bowels were a little off but not for but maybe half a week! Energy was a struggle and being cold and clammy wasn't fun! Lol I know my heat bill will be high this month! But I have 4 kids that I took care of after 8 days of quiting and it wasn't easy but I pulled through! They are certaintly happy now though! I'm going to a rehab and my kids go with! Its actually a halfway house but they have activities and such for the kids and I do meetings there! So I hope its a good experience! My concern is the kids leaving school! So idk if this will work just yet! Schools almost done in May! But I have my celebrating recovery meeting every Tuesday night! I love it! Everyones so welcoming and they offer group after the meeting! Yes it can be difficult quitting suboxones ct I do suggest tapering! I'm 120 percent better! I have counseling and a doctor and a nurse to watch over my mental state too! If u want more help go to e.r. and they willput fluids back in u and give u something for nausea! They also help u find rehab and counseling! But again thanks everyone I love u all! I love the positve spirit and positve advice u have helped me with! Can't wait for day30 and so on! God bless!

[motye51]

You are exactly where I was was!  Did opiates for 6 years and needed to quit, found the subs, went the 48 hrs without opiates and immediately went on 24mg of subs/ per day.  I didn't do any research either, I just needed to continue to be able to function (kids, bills, etc...) What we did was switched our addictions to something legal, that's all.  And YES, the subs are definitely addictive!!!!  I'm sure you know this by now!  :)  From what I've seen some people can taper and some can't....I happen to be one that couldn't.  If I could've, I would have just tapered off the opiates, as the w/d would have been much less.  I had to erase what I was going to put b/c I believe we are not supposed to put tapering info on here but taking less every week.  If your at 24 mg (3 strips) a day, try taking 2 for awhile.  I lessened the amount I was taking for about a week and a half before I quit cold turkey on Jan 1, 2014, and trust me, it wasn't pretty.  Today, I make 84 days clean, which is a miracle for me, but once I could talk correctly, (move, not throw up, etc...) I went to an N/A meeting, which is not for everyone, but it IS for ME!  If you can get yourself to a low enough dose though, the w/d's shouldn't be too bad (but your still going to have some). The subs half a very long half life (which is what I learned the hard way) of which I stopped taking them on Jan 1 but the REAL w/d's didn't start until the 4th or 5th of Jan.  It takes that long for this crap to start removing itself.  It took me approximately 3 weeks before I started feeling any real relief from the physical stuff, but again, I didn't taper, I just quit.  I myself am an all or nothing kind of person.... as most addicts are!  :)  You can definitely do it, but I suggest you enlist the help of your family or someone close, as having help makes it a lot easier!

[gopherboo2]

I am new here, and i have been on suboxone strips, 24 mgs. a day, and how do i taper off? i read that people have just stopped or cut down slowly. i have no idea where to start. I had been on and seeking vicodins for the past 8 yrs. and could not stand it anymore...i heard about these "suboxone' and how wonderful they were, how they helped take the craving for vicodins away. no, i did no research on subs, just wanted help and fast. I got right into a Dr. for these, but now i see they are just another mistake i made, and now i have to worry about not taking these anymore? I don't know what to do , as I realize I just substituted one drug for another? I have been on these 1 yr. now, and if I had only done more research on this, i wouldn't be in this mess...anyway, what im trying to say is i dont know if i can just quit all at once. I tried that with vicodin, and made it 1 whole month. I don't want to do this all over again! Can anyone give me any advice? I'm scared as I am back to square one. God bless..

[Sleeplessinca]

congrats on 3 weeks. what an amazing feeling right. im 2 days ahead of u and 3 weeks was big for me. so CONGRATS!!!!!!!

[motye51]

That's really awesome!  I'm so glad for you!  Are you continuing the meetings?  I do find they really help.  Keep pushing yourself forward...forward motion ONLY!!!!

[nursegirl6572]

That's awesome!  It's really proof that things DO get better with time, it just takes a while.  The more patient with yourself you can be, the less "tortured" you will feel, waiting to feel like YOU again.

Way to go, you're doing amazing, keep up the great work!  :0)

[Kelly98_]

Day 21! I'm so much better!

[Kelly98_]

Thanks kellygirl from one Kelly to another! I like that! You just made me smile! Thanks! You will be where I am one day I know it! I believe in u! Today is day 18 and its Sunday and I've been taking it easy today eating and watching movies! I had a friend trying to get me to go to walmart late the other night and I'm proud I told her no because she got arrested! She's suppose to be in recovery as well! But I'm watching what choices I make and I knew my mother wouldn't be happy! You see I have so much I'm fighting for and if this is what it took for my big wake up call and to push me to do what I've been wanting to do for the last 7rs then that's fine with me! I will be stronger after going through all of this! I feel almost 100 percent better! Lots of protein! Lol but a little hesitant on chores too lol! I'm lazy a bit but I push myself! I live in apts where there is a decent gym I just discovered last night so not today because my mothers at work and has the key but hopefully everyday this week I can go do some running and lifts and weights! I feel I need it! Well bye for now! God bless!

[kellygirll]

good for you girl from one kelly to another lol you are doing awesome can't wait to be where you are i too have relapsed several times since i joined this forum but reading all the posts keeps me motivated and not feeling so alone thanks for all the info about you  its very interesting you got this girl keep on keeping on!!

[Kelly98_]

Aw thanks vickie! Well today is day 17 and again I slept great last night! I'm still dragging a bit and a little shakey but my legs don't feel like they weigh a hundred pounds! Lol so my thing is its getting very aggetating being stuck in a crowded apt and noway to go out and about but on my mothers schedule! She has me locked down! Which I'm okay with I just need adult time and meetings! I need to celebrate recovery basically! I did find a place to go to on Tuesday nights so I hope I can get there! Cus I have no firends by choice! I need good ones! Not ones that will suck me back in! Well need to do some chores and straighten my hair so I will write later!

[VICourageous]

Hi Kelly98..This was a very up lifting post to read. Give it to our Lord above..Nice job on what you are doing by writing this down. I had to do a positive and negative letter..Writing this down helps alot while we are working on staying clean.
I once read on here something that IBK said and it has stuck with me for way over a Year now..
I Might have one more RUN in me, But I do not have one more Recovery. (something like that).
Keep up the good work.
Bless
Vickie

[Kelly98_]

Okay I so far came up with 47 reasons why I need to stay clean! I'm looking and adding to it everyday! Keeps my mind off of bad stuff! When I tried writing down what would happen if I relapsed well 12 I came up with! So its weighing I'm gonna be positive and stay clean! I want it and I need it! Goodnight!

[Kelly98_]

Ya I know I still feel run down and a little aggetated but keep thinking I'm happy I'm eating and have hot water etc! The energy things is expecially hard for me cus I want to do do do! So I think that's why I'm aggetated! Oh and slight headaches have been coming on! I'm sure that's normal! Maybe that's my brain slwoly healing idk but what I do know is yes when I'm feeling my worst I think yes just a sliver of suboxone film could help but never! I immediatley try to focus on how far I've come and all the pain I've been through! I don't want to start this over! I can only take my recovery one day at a time so that's exactly what I'm doing!

[kuku4kokopuffs]

I'm glad you're feeling better. Hopefully you're over the hump and you'll start feeling better every day from this point on.

Be careful though. The last time I tapered myself off I felt so good, I thought why would I ever want to go back on drugs, and it wasn't long after that those thoughts of using came flooding back into my head.

[Kelly98_]

Well today is day 16 since I've been off suboxone! And wow 2 days in a row I'm feeling for the most part way better! I just slpet 11hours! Amazing! Still just a little shakey! But today is the day I'm going to my first N/A meeting! I've seeked counseling and got back on my bipolar meds! I believe we need counseling because if were addicts aren't we depressed? I'm a dual diagnostic issue that needs to take care of not only the addict in me but also the depression in me! So if I take care of both I believe I can stay clean! I do believe finding the reason why I began all of this in the first place will help me with my recovery! It hasn't been easy I'm not going to lie but my brain is healing! I feel it! Trust me if I can do this being small and scared and not knowing what came next then I believe others can too! Were stronger than we realize! I'm never looking back! I've relapsed 4 times! Relapse I believe also is part of recovery! I've never made it 1/2 a month so I'm happy! But I'm still aware! So yea me! I love me!

[Kelly98_]

Day 12 didnt sleep so be well this time but its going to be okay! I cant wait for the day I quit sneezing! Lol

[ywf27]

I know you have faith and it has helped me to remember that God helps those who help themselves. Stay strong. Keep fighting.

[Kelly98_]

I realized that yesterday! I had severe w/d yesterday day and the whole day before for taking melatonin and so last night I decided not to take it and guess what I slept 7 hours without it! But today I feel crummy again! Its only night time I feel somewhat better to get out! But that's also probably why I slept so good! I'm just tired of being cold and clammy and worn down! This is tuff but I can't turn back now! I'm having my mom pick me up appleas bananas and pears and grapes I just want to eat lots of fruit and do this naturally! I got it! And I learned I can't drink caffeine! I'm shakey enough most the day! Thanks for your comcern!

[motye51]

I couldnt agree with u more. Or SubHate. You both spoke the truth and honestly, this special "certificate" u need to prescribe the subs is ****! It's $$$ only! I was on it for 6 yrs and my Dr was never going to taper me. Be very careful Kelly, taking pills to be able to handle the w/d. This is something u must go through and if u make it too easy, it will be real easy to forget how u got there. Pills to cover pain is how.we started this **** in the first place. By day 11 I wouldn't have left my house, and eating??? It's the pills that are allowing u to do that so I'd be really.careful!