First Day of Suboxone Withdrawal

[Bobydigi]

Ok, I've been reading this forum for the past several hours, trying to prepare myself for detoxing off of Suboxone and Ritalin.  Both were at one point prescribed, however due to loss of insurance, I've had to continue my addiction on my own.  I should also say I'm physically addicted to valium as well, I'm a complete addict and so incredibly tired of my life and the person I've become.

I started taking suboxone 2 years ago, started at 8mg, and have been steady at 4Mg now for a year.  Yesterday I took 2Mg, and can already feel the Wds starting.  

I have failed two other times I tried detoxing, but I just recently had my first child, and just want to be happy with myself, my child and my life again.

I've been taking about 75-90Mg of ritalin dually for the last month or so, and was hoping that the exhaustion that follows withdrawal from ritalin would help me get some sleep.  I'd really like too kick valium also, but after taking for six months straight, I'm terrified of how bad that would feel to quit all three at once.

Both other times I've tried quitting suboxone I've made it to day 3, and once to day 5, but relapsed both times.   My wife is wonderful and knows about what I'm going through, and I've given her the rest of the suboxone I had left.

Can anyone who maybe had a similar experience tell me how long I can expect the physical part, and what I can do to be successful this time?  I want sobriety more then anything else in this world, I owe it to my child and my wife, but an terrified I won't make it through again.

Thanks for aNY ones insight or help.

CJ

[Bobydigi]

Thanks for checking in.  I'm really struggling with my decision to stop CT at 4mg.  I've spent numerous hours today pouring over the Web about other petioles experiences, and have started second guessing myself already.  I recently have gone into a very, very deep depression, and really want my old self back.  I'm not sure whether it's the Ritalin, the suboxone, or the valium which has caused this major mind funk I'm in, but I want to feel again, emotions, laugh, smile, I've noticed a change in my personality and hate the person I've become.  It's difficult to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror even.  I took a tiny crumb of suboxone this morning at four o'clock, and have spent the entire day regretting that moment of weakness.  I've been on valium now for about 9 months, and have weaned down to 17mgs a day, and I'm ok with continuing this until another time when I can quit it n by itself, but I am afraid if I use it during this CT wd that I'll increase my dosage and start all over again with the taper.

I took a week off of work to do this, and I basically have started the clock all over again by taking a crumb this morning.  I have to be back at work Monday, and I'm wondering now if I can do this successfully in 7 days.  

I'm just so angry with myself for being such a drug addict, I'm stuck so badly, and would really like to just do a thirty day residential program, but seriously doubt 1. I could afford one, and 2. Keep my job after taking 30 days off.  I just don't know what to do. Maybe just kick the ritalin, and keep tapering suboxone and valium, or try to make it through the next 7 days CT from both.

[Ann2497]

How are you doing?  Melatonin and valium are a good start for sleep.  I used benadryl but some people do not respond well to benadryl and find that it makes RLS worse so only use it if you have had success with it in the past.

[JHo_Only1way1015]

Um yes, it is a good idea to talk to a Dr. about stopping anything, but I have had many stays in rehab and have quit cold turkey on all of the above mentioned drugs. Only drug I was given was Katapress (for lowering your blood pressure). The only drug I would never go cold turkey from would be Methadone because that can cause mental or pychotic break downs. I am not trying to tell anyone what is right, just what was right for me and that was cold turkey.

[vicki595]

So, you're going to continue this cold turkey from 4mg of Suboxone and however much Ritalin ?

Get Alteril for sleep. Hylands Restful Legs for RLS along with apple and orange juice. Immodium will come in handy. Start taking some vitamins and minerals. Eat and keep your fluids up.

Good luck

[Bobydigi]

Sorry didn't mean to post that, but day 2 here I go.  My wife is very understanding and Robert, and I don't know what I would do with out her right now, except succeed!  I'll never forget the look of disappointment I got from her the last two times I tried and failed, I CAN DO IT THIS TIME! Unfortunately I cant prolong this anymore as I've already taken time off of work to go through this, it's now or never.

I'm approaching 36 hours without box, and definitely can feel the WD.'S coming on, yawning, restlessness, back ache.

I really appreciate the support I've received here, and hope after I make it through this I will be able to help others.

Anyone have any OTC remedies they can give for Rls, our sleep?  I took valium and melatonin last night which worked well, but I know the next three to four nights are the worst.

[Bobydigi]

Hi Guys, thanks so much for the great support.  I just wanted to clarify that I'm only quitting suboxone and ritalin, I've decided not to quit Valium yet, as this is one of the few drugs that can actually kill you.

I was rather surprised that I slept for 12 hours last night

[quitinoxys]

I again have to agree with Vicki, he is taking three types of drugs (barbs, opiates and stimulants) each with their own dangers with w/d. BobyDigi should seek medical advice before stopping valium and/or ritillan. It could be quite dangerous.

[vicki595]

"Just keep thinking that. YOU CAN DO IT!  Stop taking everything, just stop. Throw them away"

I need to disagree with that advice. I'm sorry. I think that's very dangerous for him...He needs medical supervision.

All the best!

[JHo_Only1way1015]

Dear Bobydigi,
      I am a recovering addict myself so what I am about to say to you may seem rude or insensative but it is the cold, hard honest truth.
      I used dilaudid (IV form) for 4 years. In those years I also used everything from Methadone, Vicodine, Morphine (IV), Fentenaol, Heroin (IV), and pretty much anything under the sun including Xanx, Valuim, and the list goes on and on.
      The only time in my life I EVER relapsed was when I used Suboxone. There is no way to get thru withdrawls other than to do it. It will hurt, you will not feel good at all. You will not sleep, you will not have any hunger, no control of bowel movements, and yes, you may even vomit. The body aches and pains will last about 3 weeks or so but are the WORST the first week. If you can make it thru the first week, you are strong enough to quit this crap for good! The lack of sleep to me was the worst. I went 6 weeks before getting any type of normal sleeping habbit back. I couldn't tell you how many times I watched the sunset and sun come up with only 45mins to, on a good night, 3 hours of sleep. I just kept thinking to myselft, and I hope this helps you, "I DID THIS TO MYSELF!!! I DID THIS TO MYSELF SO SUCK IT UP, DO WHAT'S RIGHT, DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, GET THROUGH THIS AND YOU WILL HAVE LEARNED NEVER TO GO BACK TO THIS!!"  It's sad but true, really. We have done this to ourselves and we have to punish ourselves for doing it. It may seem odd but it is a truely cleansing process  when you get done. You will look at everything in life diffrently. When my job or life gets stressful or I feel like giving up, I just think to myself, "I have gone through white knuckle withdrawls from opiates, I can do this with no problem!"
      
If you truely want sobriety more than anything in your life, expecially for your child, YOU CAN DO THIS. Just keep thinking that. YOU CAN DO IT!  I hope your wife is an angel like my soon to be husband is because you will need someone sober in your life to be there. She will need to understand you need someone by your side. Ask her for help. Write on your bathroom mirror or on a piece of paper around your bed, "I have done this, I have to do this to learn I will NEVER go back to this life and I will NEVER poison myself! I am one day closer to my new life with no pain and this will end, but till then, I have done this to myself and today is the day I will choose true life, instead of a Pill, no matter the pain I feel."

I'm not a spiritual person at all, but I have to say, you will be in my thoughts for a while and I wish you all the best. Please know that you can do this and the pain is well worth the beauty in a clean world thru clean eyes.

[quitinoxys]

I agree with Vicki you are taking three entirely different classes of drugs, each with their own dangers from w/d, you should talk to your doctor before you try to stop. You could be doing more harm than good if you try to detox from all three meds at once. If any thing I would try to taper off the subs first and I say taper as you are on a high dose of subs to just jump off.----Rick

[vicki595]

CJ-  I'll share a couple of things with you:

What you're doing is dangerous. You have essentially stopped your dose of Sub at 4mg. That's too high and you will NOT feel very good at all.

You need to speak with a doctor about all of these meds so you can be safe. Each of them affect different parts of your brain and that concerns me. They all need to be tapered...and you should not stop all three at once!

[gnarly_1]

Hey Dude a good part of this is all about attitude if you go into it with a positive attitude that will do more for your recovery then any other thing  if you start the poor me im to sick to take any more your sunk you have been on a powful narcotic its not going to be fun to come off off but we have a lot of members here who have done it methadone is my demon but sub is not much better I was sick for 90 days if I can do it so can you sub withdrawals like tomskat said can be from 3 day to 3 weeks ecentally your coming off 8mg your body never had a chace to adjust to 4mg even thats fairly high but it is doable read up on the thomas recipe post here for support we all want to see you get well and just know this is going to take some determination and perseverance you got to want it bad but if you do it is so so worth it in the end I endured 90days to make it out but im a little over 2yr clean YOU CAN DO THIS......Gnarly  

[tomskat]

Hi there...have you spken to your doctor about your desire to quit Suboxone?Are you quitting the Ritalin due to laack of insurance or due to addiction?Quitting all 3 meds without docotr's care could be dangerous.Tapering would probably be your best alternative.I'm sure others will be chiming in here as well.As far as the physical side effects,theya re different for everyone.You'll feel like you have the flu really bad for anywhere from 3 days to 3 weeks.Have you chacked out the Health Pages?There is a lot of information there that can be useful to you during this process.You want sobriety,as well as your life back.That's a huge part of being successful-you have to want it,and be ready to work at it.You definately need support to quit and be successful,whether it's from NA or even rehab.NA is good-it's free and easily accessible.You've found this site,where you will always be supported!Think positive...you CAN do this CJ.You have the will,therefore there is always a way!Stay strong and keep your guard up.Identifying your "triggers" will help a great deal also.Always here~A