I am at my last chance to be normal I think......

[winthewar]

Well I have been on here for sometime and have never gotten clean I will use up my script that should last a month in 12 days then I will buy pills or turn on my please help me to get friends and family to give me pills that they honestly need and I am so tired of it.  I don't function anymore I exist and when I don't have anything I am a mean and nasty person.  I have used something weather it be coke turned to meth and now for the last 10 years pills.  I am currently on unemployment and have the time to get clean.  Let's not joke here i am a serious addict I can make you believe me to get what I want and I have been this way for well I can't remember not being this way.  But I am so tired of it and can't function anymore with or without the pills I sit here and pace the house doing nothing atleast the bare minimum to keep the family going and I am so tired of it.  My biggest fear is how will I be when I get clean how will I cope who will I be will I like that person will my family like that person?  I don't hide it well anymore my kids see me going down hill and say mom you out of pills isn't that sick it's sick.  I have been on here tried the taper not for me I can't do it no will power gotta tell the doc the truth and cut that off after 10 years which I am deathly afraid to do.  Talked to my mom this morning and was brutally honest about how I deceive and work even her to get my way.  I am completely out of pills today and took immoduim this morning I have said and done all this before no reason for anyone to believe me or help me never been able to make it past maybe day 4 or 5 but I'm gonna give it a shot again and pray that because I have let everyone no I will lie cry and manipulate and not to believe me I will get threw it this time not asking for anything but a little hope I'm honestly completely broken and done with this game.

[jifmoc]

Hi, I recognize your name. Getting and staying clean is simple. It's not easy, but it's simple.

Like Gnarly said, did you cut ALL your access? Tell your dr. now. Don't allow your fear to determine your action. You're afraid? Tell him anyway. This won't work otherwise.

I'm sure you know about detox. Stock up on all the stuff from Thomas recipe.

Most importantly, get into AA or NA immediately.

Good luck, I hope you are truly desperate this time. That's when change happens. Let us know how you're doing. Don't disappear, okay?

[gnarly_1]

Hi....well congrats on wanting to take your life back....if your ready to do what it takes we can guide you along  first off you need to cut ALL sources that includes doctor friends relatives.....you need to make sure your house is pill free....stock up on the basic stuff a case of gatoraid epsom salt for the bath  ez to fix meals some funny movies for the long nights up.....the rest is up to you....the best thing you can bring to the table is a positive attitude it makes the difference between being uncomfortable and suffering....suffering is a choice  this is 1/3 phyical and 2/3 mental to be ready to fight it out on both fronts...I have said this a million times but ''you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile''.... that should be your mantra for the next week.....then the most critical part is aftercare....long after the pills stop where still stuck with the addict in our heads  I recamend the N/A program the meeting are only a hour long and will give you some place to share where the people will understand with time you will loose the very desire to use  something I always thought was impossible...just know this aftercare takes less work then using 24/7 we look forward to helping you...........Gnarly........