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Vicodin causing Anxiety and other questions
Hi, I'm 26, a mom of 3, a wife, a student and an addict. Those really don't seem like they mesh well with the latter one, but I really do feel I do a very good job considering.
Bit of my back story before my question(s). I have probably been taking vicodin for about 6 years or so. It was sometime after I got over PPD with my second child. I used to smoke pot with my girlfriends occasionally as opposed to drinking (I hate being drunk) but then it started giving me panic attacks, so I stopped. I guess vicodin took its place. It wasn't a daily addiction until about a year into the recreational fun of it. So for 5 years daily I would say. I did however stop when I was 9 weeks pregnant with my youngest (who is now 14 months) by tapering off from 12 pills a day to none over a 5 week period and managed to not only have no noticeable withdrawals, but stay clean. I took I think maybe 5 over a 2 week course when I was 32 weeks pregnant for horrible back pain, which amazingly didn't "awaken" my addiction and I was pretty proud of myself for doing it all on my own. Here is where my trouble came back. I always missed my little addiction and only quit out of concern for the health of the baby I was carrying. I really couldn't wait to be able to take a pill here or there guilt free when he weaned (I am a huge believer in breastfeeding for at least one year). After I had the baby, 2 different doctors in the hospital, plus my regular doctor and the hospital pediatrician both informed me that if I didn't take more than 3-4 vicoprofens a day during my postpartum recovery, the nursing child shouldn't have any ill effects but just to watch him to make sure as every baby and body is different. That combined with some research is all it took to start again. And happily at that. Currently, I take maybe 1.5-2 7.5/200 vicoprofen a day. Sometimes this is supplemented with 5/500 and 5/350 of normal vicodin when I am out of those. My doctor seemingly writes me 30 a month happily and combined with what my husband gets from his doctor for me, I am always set on my supply. And have been for the past 14 months.
So question number one. All of a sudden, they seem to be causing me anxiety attacks. I'm no stranger to those and can cope pretty well through one, but they are getting worse and more often. The only time I even seem to have them is when I am alone with the kids or by myself. If my husband or a friend or a family member is with me, I don't get them. But it does always seem to be when I am alone that about an hour after taking some vicodin they show up. It's seriously starting to affect my life and daily activities. They are at a point now where .5mg of Xanax does absolutely nothing for them. I tried starting a daily long term manager for them, but after finding I am allergic to both Lexapro and Celexa, I've given up on sheer fear of having a severe allergic reaction from any other one that is suggested for me to try. Why is this? Is there anything I can do for it at all? I really would love any suggestions and information on controlling it. It's completely different from the withdrawal anxiety I get when I need a pill, that one I can cope and function with. But maybe because I always have some or know I have some at home for later on.
Also, for those that have quit, what made you do it? I know this is an addiction that I will eventually need to give up for some reason or another. I can't go on until I die with it. But did any of you ever *want* to actually stop? And why? I love my pills, I truly do, and I love the wonderful tingly feeling I get in my belly when they kick in and the instant "upper" it gives me. If I can't solve my anxiety by any other means, I feel this is the road I may have to take and the thought makes me sad. I'm so attached to them. According to my husband and friends I've known since I was little, I don't have the typical mood swings of an addict and if I had never told them, they would never have noticed anything different about me. How did you guys cope with the fiending mentally? And with the physical symptoms? I don't get belly cramps and achy muscles, but I do get wicked sweaty, shaky and the hot-tingly feeling.
Thanks ahead of time, I know I wrote quite a book here.
Bit of my back story before my question(s). I have probably been taking vicodin for about 6 years or so. It was sometime after I got over PPD with my second child. I used to smoke pot with my girlfriends occasionally as opposed to drinking (I hate being drunk) but then it started giving me panic attacks, so I stopped. I guess vicodin took its place. It wasn't a daily addiction until about a year into the recreational fun of it. So for 5 years daily I would say. I did however stop when I was 9 weeks pregnant with my youngest (who is now 14 months) by tapering off from 12 pills a day to none over a 5 week period and managed to not only have no noticeable withdrawals, but stay clean. I took I think maybe 5 over a 2 week course when I was 32 weeks pregnant for horrible back pain, which amazingly didn't "awaken" my addiction and I was pretty proud of myself for doing it all on my own. Here is where my trouble came back. I always missed my little addiction and only quit out of concern for the health of the baby I was carrying. I really couldn't wait to be able to take a pill here or there guilt free when he weaned (I am a huge believer in breastfeeding for at least one year). After I had the baby, 2 different doctors in the hospital, plus my regular doctor and the hospital pediatrician both informed me that if I didn't take more than 3-4 vicoprofens a day during my postpartum recovery, the nursing child shouldn't have any ill effects but just to watch him to make sure as every baby and body is different. That combined with some research is all it took to start again. And happily at that. Currently, I take maybe 1.5-2 7.5/200 vicoprofen a day. Sometimes this is supplemented with 5/500 and 5/350 of normal vicodin when I am out of those. My doctor seemingly writes me 30 a month happily and combined with what my husband gets from his doctor for me, I am always set on my supply. And have been for the past 14 months.
So question number one. All of a sudden, they seem to be causing me anxiety attacks. I'm no stranger to those and can cope pretty well through one, but they are getting worse and more often. The only time I even seem to have them is when I am alone with the kids or by myself. If my husband or a friend or a family member is with me, I don't get them. But it does always seem to be when I am alone that about an hour after taking some vicodin they show up. It's seriously starting to affect my life and daily activities. They are at a point now where .5mg of Xanax does absolutely nothing for them. I tried starting a daily long term manager for them, but after finding I am allergic to both Lexapro and Celexa, I've given up on sheer fear of having a severe allergic reaction from any other one that is suggested for me to try. Why is this? Is there anything I can do for it at all? I really would love any suggestions and information on controlling it. It's completely different from the withdrawal anxiety I get when I need a pill, that one I can cope and function with. But maybe because I always have some or know I have some at home for later on.
Also, for those that have quit, what made you do it? I know this is an addiction that I will eventually need to give up for some reason or another. I can't go on until I die with it. But did any of you ever *want* to actually stop? And why? I love my pills, I truly do, and I love the wonderful tingly feeling I get in my belly when they kick in and the instant "upper" it gives me. If I can't solve my anxiety by any other means, I feel this is the road I may have to take and the thought makes me sad. I'm so attached to them. According to my husband and friends I've known since I was little, I don't have the typical mood swings of an addict and if I had never told them, they would never have noticed anything different about me. How did you guys cope with the fiending mentally? And with the physical symptoms? I don't get belly cramps and achy muscles, but I do get wicked sweaty, shaky and the hot-tingly feeling.
Thanks ahead of time, I know I wrote quite a book here.
I too have developed a recent panic disorder after taking them for so long. I don't understand it. My addiction wants to take more but I can't. Honestly thank god for panic. It has made me want to stop. But if anyone has any idea why these episodes have started... Pls
Let me know.
Let me know.
i too never thought it was a problem i could always handel it but I too got aniety attacks when the drugs were wearing of and I figure I understood this side effect and I can handle it.
then I could not get going everyday without a pill, but I too still liked the feeling.
the day i did not have any percocetts I just planned to wait and WD hit me and I realized this same type of flu hit me many other times and after taking a few pills never thougth about it much.
I think that the WD scared me the most and that I to am an addict
i know during sometimes in my adult life I too could be drug free cannot remember when that was though.
it has not been easy.
it's you call but the anxiety for me happened always when I was coming down and needed to take more.
wendy
then I could not get going everyday without a pill, but I too still liked the feeling.
the day i did not have any percocetts I just planned to wait and WD hit me and I realized this same type of flu hit me many other times and after taking a few pills never thougth about it much.
I think that the WD scared me the most and that I to am an addict
i know during sometimes in my adult life I too could be drug free cannot remember when that was though.
it has not been easy.
it's you call but the anxiety for me happened always when I was coming down and needed to take more.
wendy
I agree with the one day you will have to take more just to feel normal. Vicodin is a narcotic and it's addiction properties will catch up with you which could be resulting the panic attacks. I wish we could take these pills with no concerns for pain or to feel better but it is not without a catch....the addiction. I wish you luck, it's hard to make a decision to stop taking something that makes you feel good.
I was off vics for 1 1/2 years and got back on them because we were going on vacation and my wife said that I deserved to feel good. It's not her fault, it's mine since I took them but I can tell you that being sober is the best. I'm taking them right now because I had a kidney stone and the doctor is still giving them to me. I won't be able to keep this charade up for much longer though and then I'm done. I'm NEVER doing this again!
I hate to know I'm going to have to put up with withdrawal again. When I went back on them I didn't really crave them at all. Since I didn't have a real craving for them I stupidly thought I could take them for a week and then stop...completely forgetting about withdrawal until it was too late. Like I said though, the good news is that I know you'll feel 'normal' again after being off of them for a while. I took them for 14 years and after 4 tries just decided to stop cold turkey. It ***** doing that but I did it and it didn't take that long for me to feel normal again without taking them. I'm going to have to do that again. I won't make the same mistake twice though.
I just don't have the willpower to stop on my own right now but that decision will be made for me in a couple of weeks!
I hate to know I'm going to have to put up with withdrawal again. When I went back on them I didn't really crave them at all. Since I didn't have a real craving for them I stupidly thought I could take them for a week and then stop...completely forgetting about withdrawal until it was too late. Like I said though, the good news is that I know you'll feel 'normal' again after being off of them for a while. I took them for 14 years and after 4 tries just decided to stop cold turkey. It ***** doing that but I did it and it didn't take that long for me to feel normal again without taking them. I'm going to have to do that again. I won't make the same mistake twice though.
I just don't have the willpower to stop on my own right now but that decision will be made for me in a couple of weeks!
Okay...there are some red flags here.
First,your husband is enabling your addiction. That's not good.
Secondly,you want help solving the anxiety and you don't seem to see the obvious answer : you need to stop the Vicodin. It's changing your brain chemistry and causing panic.
In order to stop the pills,you really have to want to. Otherwise it will not work and your habit will become extreme. Many of us made up our minds and just stopped. We felt like crao for a week but it was worth it to get clean.
We enlist support to help our recovery because we know we can't do it alone.
I promise you,the day will come when the pills no longer make you feel good. You'll need them just to feel normal. I have a feeling that's where this anxiety of yours is coming from. Your brain wants you to increase your daily dose.
When you decide to stop,come on the forum and we'll help you.
Good luck~
First,your husband is enabling your addiction. That's not good.
Secondly,you want help solving the anxiety and you don't seem to see the obvious answer : you need to stop the Vicodin. It's changing your brain chemistry and causing panic.
In order to stop the pills,you really have to want to. Otherwise it will not work and your habit will become extreme. Many of us made up our minds and just stopped. We felt like crao for a week but it was worth it to get clean.
We enlist support to help our recovery because we know we can't do it alone.
I promise you,the day will come when the pills no longer make you feel good. You'll need them just to feel normal. I have a feeling that's where this anxiety of yours is coming from. Your brain wants you to increase your daily dose.
When you decide to stop,come on the forum and we'll help you.
Good luck~
Eventually the pills will turn on you and the high will not be good. That is why I decided that I needed to stop. I am clean now for 5 months. I love the feeling of not stuffing a pill in me when I thought I need one. I like the new non nausea feeling and I feel I am making a healthy choice for once.
I always thought that no one noticed when I was high, How stupid of a thought my young grandchildren even knew. My choice to get clean was the best choice I have ever made.
So don't fool yourself and truly think about what you just posted. The irony is there in the post. Getting clean and sober is the best way to live and not living in a fog for the day nothing better than that.
I hope you decide it is right for you too.
I always thought that no one noticed when I was high, How stupid of a thought my young grandchildren even knew. My choice to get clean was the best choice I have ever made.
So don't fool yourself and truly think about what you just posted. The irony is there in the post. Getting clean and sober is the best way to live and not living in a fog for the day nothing better than that.
I hope you decide it is right for you too.
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