help

[jsilovepb]

i have been with my girlfriend for 8 months and we both have had are problems..we both partied and kept things from each other and eventually broke up about 5 months into our relationship..when we got back together i came clean that i was still doing coke and that i wanted to stop and she said she would be there for me..we have both dabbled a little bit with it here and there but only a few times..but i know im done for good..she has had a opiate problem for a few yeats and when we met she told me and i was very proud of her and respected her for that and i told myself i would always be there..we had our problems through out our relationship and our ups and downs which led to her family not liking me which ***** because there good people and  wish they would see how much i love her and give me that chance..but now for the last month i found out that she has been taking pills again which i would have been there for her but she decided to lie to me and its almost to the point where i feel she just gets defensive about everything i ask and dosnt see how much it changes her in a intimate, relationship way..i dont want to push her to stop because she has other stressful family things she is dealing with and i dont know if i should believe her when she says that she is stopping in a month..is it normal for someone to be defensive with there lover about questions about our relationship and why she lies to me..i care about so much and dont think she realizes how much and lately i feel that she is more in love with them then me..i just want the loving,caring,sensitive,and most amazing person i have ever known back like she was..what can i do? how do i go about this?
j

[atthebeach]

when it comes to addiction yes it is normal to be defensive and to lie. it is all a way to
cover up the use. i have lived with my drug addicted husband for 14 years and he has lied so much i have no idea what the truth is and you know what after awhile neither do they. you said you had partied i am sure you had lied also if maybe not to your gf but probably to  your parents,( not sure of your age). yes the drugs definitely become more important than anything. my husband and i have 5 children and even though he said we were more important his actions said something different. there isnt much you can do until she comes clean with herself first then you. either you stand by her through this or move on. i can now say my husband is in rehab and has been clean for 30 days. it is possible.
debbie

[micheleTX]

Hi.  Well unfortunately, that is the addiction with opiates.  Addicts will become very defensive when questioned or confronted with their addiction.  Also, sorry to say, they take away your sex drive - well, alot of people say that...not sure, but they did mine.  You said she has an opiate problem - do you know how many pills she is taking?  I am so sorry you are going through this, it can be very hard to deal with someone else's addiction.  You are at the right place for answers!  Keep posting okay?  Lots of people here know alot about these things.
Hang in there :)