Day 6 sub taper, Part of my story! Happy Easter!

[amaria]

Hi everyone, hope all our clean peeps (easter.lol) and our beginner peeps and all the peeps in their struggle are having a successful day. I started my day 6 on sub. Today, ended at 4 mgs. Yesterday. Overall a successful day! Many challenges are going on in my life right now. Gonna be as brief as I can. My mother and I both beat cancer 7 years ago, and in the past 4 mnths her struggle has begun again. I pray she soliders through this everday and God lifts her up out of this. She is my best friend, my everything. My stepfather is losing his battle to stage 4 cancer and is now bedridden. He is my dad, he's been there most of my life. (my father commit suicide when I was 11).  My heart aches at the thought of calling one day and to never hear his voice again. An all too familiar feeling. In the meantime, my husband and I are currently in the fight of our lives in not losing everything. Including our home. We recently got screwed out of 13,000.00 in flooring by our own business partner. Work is done, jobs look great, and we walked away w/nothing. My hubby did alllll the labor. Thats a lawsuit at this point. Wont be paid for a long time I'm sure.
So everyday he and I are on the hump trying to recoup whats ours and scrambling to stay afloat, while still making it to jobs and keep this house running. I'm writing all of this to all of you, or whoever cares to read, to let you all know, Smack dab in the middle of the chaois and heartache and many things I am not in control of, I'm chosing everyday to take control of my life and addiction. Not gonna lie, would be easier to pop a pill and numb it out for an hour or 2 to the next pill. But that hasnt worked for me. Because when the pills are gone, life is still going on. When I try to think about the main reason I MUST beat this addiction, I dont have one, I have many. So again, today, I'm chosing to take my life back, for myself and many others. I don't have Easter dinner in the fridge like every year before waiting to be cooked. (i looove cooking). I dont even know if I will have electric on Sunday, but as of today, I have my DAY 6, on taking my life back. I love you all, for hanging in there with me. :) And I hope I didnt bore you.lol.

[amaria]

Thank you to all of you! So nice to come to a place where everyone understands each other and the enormous support and inspiration! Today is my day 7, halfway through. Have taken less than my usual dose.  Would love to land on my goal, between 2 1/2 mgs. Or even 3 mg. thank you again! Have a wonderful holiday weekend everyone! :)))))))

[kimidfawn]

Wow you are a great woman and I'm praying for you I too am on day 6 of being off medication, Easter will go on weather you make Easter dinner or not, you recover has to come first, maybe you can ask people in attendance to bring a plate to lighten your load, I know when I get over whelmed it trigger the need to want to take something
Many many many prayer for your success, all things are possible through Christ

[sandstone27]

Hey there,

Glad to see things are going well for you....I'm so sorry about the business - I hope your day in court - whenever that is - sees you recouping what you have lost, and then some.  

I haven't been on the forum as much and I try to keep up with people's progress - you're doing great - just be patient and don't try to rush your taper too much.  You will be better for it in the long run.  As I've said before, you are very strong, and you've GOT this.  

Have a joyous Easter...

Sandy ♦

[gunn73]

u r doing awesome. just hang in there.

[amaria]

Yesterday ended well. I wanted to end at 3 mg. but ended at 3.5 mg. Had a pretty moderate headache, but dealt with it. Today, I took less this morn. So I can meet my goal of 3mg. At the end of the day today. Wish me luck, thank for supporting me! :)

[amaria]

Thank u soooo much Addicted2long. You are giving me strength also. Thank u sooo much for hanging in there w/me. GA, please dont let your fear of tapering get the best of u. And its ok for u to be on the sub. You are under a doctors care, and your going to get through this. I personally get stress headaches, and when I added the sub. I pretty much always have a headache. And I notice if I focus too much on it, it definitely gets worse. Im only telling you this because I dont want u to beat yourself up over being in pain, im afraid it will heighten your pain and fear of tapering from the sub. I am pulling from the gut everyday to make it to the next. Its not an easy road, alot of work and determination. Highs-i havent had any. Lows-plenty. I have yet to feel "normal" since I put the oxycodone down last sat. Night. But im chosing not to focus on tgat, and trying to keep focus on my sobriety. I have seen many people successfully taper off suboxone, when they are ready. I just want you to take this day to day, sometimed minute by minute. And please try to replace some of your doubts or fear with your successes, you already have some. And I know its hard, believe me I do, but try to keep a strong, positive mindset. It helps for a better body too. Hang in there, I'm right here if u need me. :)  Just breathe. Xoxoxo

[Addicted2long]

Thanks for posting your story..I feel for you and i know how tough it must be to have family members that are really sick. I have lost many members of my family to alcohol abuse and it's not easy to lose a loved one. You are a very very strong person to be able to stay sober and deal with all this. I admire you for that. There will be better days ahead and everything does happen for a reason. God could be testing u and u are proving yourself ten fold. I strongly believe that and I hope that everything works out with the guy who basically robbed u. That's terrible some people are just so corrupt and don't care about anyone but themselves. Your right though it will take a while before u get the money back thanka to our legal system being backed up so bad. Stay strong and do not let yourself get down about this. You've come so far and ur so close to being through the clouds. It will all pay off I promise u that. Hang in there and keep posting we all are here for ya. Take care, A2L

[GA_need_help]

You are doing this deal!  I have started physically hurting!  It just started yesterday.  I am still on my 12 mg of subs., and had to take an extra 4 mg yesterday to deal with the pain.  I am waiting to talk to my doctor on Monday.  I am wondering if my body is so conditioned to being in pain that coming home and getting into my normal schedule has made the pain come back again.  Any thoughts?  I am so sorry for how hard everything is!!!  I will be praying for y'all.
Big hug,
Marie

[amaria]

Thank u soooo much for your support, inspiration, prayers. I WILL get through this. I do believe where hope grows, miracles blossom. God, will bring my husband and I and my family with everything we need to get through this. I believe you have a part in it too. Have a wonderful weekend with your family.  :)

[gunn73]

hey Amaria
i wish i could be there to help. but i ll pray that life has beautiful surprises for u in the future.
u r another person i ve come to know lately who s very brave. i wish u all the best with everything. may all what u desire comes true.
God bless u
gunnu