just and update I have 95 days clean

[solost170]

I know that i have been on and off of here lately, but I check in from time to time I have been busy with getten well and spending time with my kids and well letting my brain heal itself finding joy in the small things that surround me, 95 days ago i was in the pits of withdrawal and it was no joy ride, my detox was not pleasant it was the hardest thing I have ever been through but I can tell you it was the best thing I have ever done, I know I never have to go through it again as long as I stay away from the pills that put me there. I have also been to court over the guy who attacked me during my detox, I sit and kinda laugh about it I was sick and weak but I fought back just like I have done with my addiction I fight back, well anyways the guy gotta 5 years probated but at least he got something outta the deal a record and he had a black eye and a busted lip, he found out that even though I'm only four foot eleven and weigh about 95 pounds at the time of the attack he found out that little doesnt mean weak. and Iook at my addiction the same way just cause it is bigger than me doesnt mean it is gonna win, I fight everyday with everything I have inside of me to win this and 95 days to me is amazing I'm very proud of myself I have had so many things thrown in my path and I have managed to stay clean. so my message is this you can win yes it is battle but so many things in life are. this is no diffrent than fighting for your family your job so on and so on we fight everyday yes i have my weak days when the laundry is pilled up and there is so much for me to do I think I could take a pill and fly through all this but then I realize that it just my addiction talking and I dont need to take anything to get through my day, I may be a lil slower than I used to be and the dishes may sit for a lil longer than they used to but it does get done and I do it all on my own with out chemical help. I have found that without pills I'm a better person when I quit using I found the most amazing person and that person was me I found the real me and that is priceless love and light guys hang in there its worth the fight the roses smell so nice on the clean side of life the light is so much brighter and clearer hang in there guys you will find your peace

[Ben727]

Glad to still be chasing you ;) Congratulations!

[littlebit667]

Great post!  Keep thinking that way and you will stay strong.  Congrats on 95 days.....3 months is huge.

[Nursey7]

Very proud of you!!  You are such an amazing sweet and genuine person- it comes through loud and clear!  Keep up the work honey- Life is great :-)

[ImDONENoMore]

I'm happy for you - well done!

[kyle505]

You should be very proud of yourself...That's a no brainer.

[Sonrissa]

This is so inspiring and uplifting to read! Congrats on your clean time and you should be so proud of all your hard work! Now you are reaping the rewards! You have found yourself and your wonderful life! Keep moving forward, continue to stay strong, and continue to inspire us! I hope you come around often! Take care!

[solost170]

first I thank you all for your kind and encouraging words it means alot to me. that goes out to everyone, this goes to kyle, my dear friend you have been there with me sense my very first post so you know my journey and you know how hard I have had it. attacks court cars jobs kidney stones so on and so on. I have had fincial and personal problems and I have made it so kyle thank you so much your posts always make me smile and make me proud of everyone exp myself many many thanks to all of you who have held my hand through this journey of becomen a clean and better person. love and light solost who isnt solost anymore I'm a total diff person than I was when I picked my name for this site I have found that I'm so found now. LOL always your friend and fellow addict

[selfinduced]

yay, yay, and yay again!!! You done good! Keep it going.....

[ImGettingClean]

Very inspirational - Nice post and Congrats on 95 Days! That is a tremendous accomplishment, you should be extremely proud of yourself.

5 more days and triple digits!!

Keep your guard up.

Enjoy Freedom.

Nick

[kyle505]

"...when I quit using I found the most amazing person and that person was me...".  GREAT LINE! Simple, to the point.
You continue to amaze me and are an inspiration to everyone on this forum.
Congrat - try to post more. Thank you.

[solost170]

thank you for your lovely words exp the amen to the dishes and laundry, I was like you I was so hard on myself during the begining of my journey I guess I expected that I would just get well quick and be back to my old self before the pills, but it takes time for the body mind and soul to heal and I quit being hard on myself. My kids have been my inspiration the look on my daughter and sons face its the look of mom we are proud of you, when I quit I told everyone about my addiction that was so hard to do but I found that I wasnt fouling anyone my kids knew about it and were understanding and so was my bf. I get alot of my strength from my kids my daughter brags on her mom she says mom quit and is doing great. and I could never imagine seeing the look of dissapointment on those kids faces so that and my own will of simply i dont want to use anymore gets me through. bottom line to quiting is you have to want it with all that you have inside. love and light to you keep the fight up because we are  so worth it.