Withdrawal and Depression

[OxyDout]

I finally got to post!! I have been experiencing severe withdrawal/depression the last few days, so much that I have found myself crying on a few occasions, I have been feeling like there is no way out of this awful life style, and if I get close to being clean, I get scared when I think of leading a sober life..... I can't handle it anymore, I lie to everyone, I hurt everyone and I waste all my godamn money on drugs, what the hell is the point?  If it weren't for people in this forum, its a possibility I might not be here right now.  How do I ease this pain, physically and mentally....... I would appreciate any and all posts. I hope I make it through this, I'm not feeling so well.  GWH  I will be here all day.

[GOD]

It's funny that you mentioned the GAGGING.. I thought it was only me! haha! but, I did find a solution. I take a drink- (Water) -about a half of a mouthful, don't swallow, tilt my head back like I'm going to gargle, then drop the pills in, and THEN swallow. Pretty silly, huh? but it works!

[OxyDout]

Ok, this might sound weird, but does anyone else struggle with gagging when taking any pill. I am taking supplements right now for lighting, plus some multi vitamins and I gag every time I take something. Its definitely related to taking vicodin, I gag just thinking about it, its awful, but does anyone else have this issue, if so, what do you do......... its awful.

GWH

[OxyDout]

thanks groovy, have a great time with your daughter, give her the attention for the day, that way you will think less of your situation.  I wish you luck, have fun!!! talk to you soon.

GWH

[1fortheroad]

where is that angel again?  i could use one right now, and i don't think it's on my shoulder right now.  i have to force myself to get up and go...sitting at the computer all day won't help me, and it is gorgeous out today...my daughter just got home from kindergarten, and i am determined to spend the day outside at the park or something...so, i won't be posting for a few hours...stay on track today gwh...you are doing great!!!

[OxyDout]

I'm here for you, if you need to talk, you also have my email, I hope you feel better today, I know your strong enough to do this. If I can do it you can, and trust me I never thought I could even get this far. My brother used to tell me that this would be cake. I am a fitness freak, I have dieted for 20 wks at a time eating protein shakes, bars, chicken and rice, and NOTHING ELSE, so he told me if I had the will power to do that then this would be nothing, BOY WAS HE WRONG!!! I would take a diet from hell any day. This is the most difficult thing I have ever gone through, but I"m DOING IT AND SO CAN YOU!! just stay positive, you will see the other side, and as kip would say KEEP POSTING AND KEEP AN ANGEL ON YOUR SHOULDER.

gwh

[1fortheroad]

i know it needs to be supervised, but i beat myself up over the fact that i can't control this myself...it makes me worried about the future and what else i won't be able to control.  i'll get more toward the end of next week.

i feel ok - kind of tired and unmotivated, but that seems to be my general state of mind these days.  i'm not taking enough bup to feel good, but i'm taking enough not to go into major withdrawal...as i've said in the recent past - i really screwed myself bad on this one.

i wish more people posted more regularly...as you said, i too look forward to reading people's posts...they really do save me from sinking into depression sometimes.