Random Ramblings on Day 16 and PAWS

[ScarrieAnne]

So I slept 4.5 hours, got up at 1:43am. I feel pretty good considering, until my dumba** started researching PAWS. Really?!? Another hellish nightmare to worry about, I really just need to stop with all the knowledge seeking, ignorance is bliss, right?. So I am just going to try not to worry about that, if it happens, I deserve it. I put my mind and body through hell for a long time, so it is to be expected that there will be repurcussions (sp?) See I cant spell this week, and Ive always been an excellent speller. I start the Thomas recipe today, as soon as I can force myself to eat something, the first week I as eating a lot this week I cant even stand food, Ive been living on protein shakes and bananas or apples. I know I am sounding really blah and down today, not my usual positive self, but there is a reason and all us females know what it is (sorry guys, its a fact of life) ugh. If anyone is informed or is living with PAWS could you respond? Id like to hear about it from someone that's been through it or has more knowledge about it than I do. it is also freezing cold for TX, rainy and crappy. my moods are strongly affected by the weather. theres a name for it but I think big pharma made it up to create more money making drugs. Have a great day all, don't worry ill be fine, just one of those days. XOXO Carrieanne

[ScarrieAnne]

LOl lulu I promise no more google, and its funny you mentioned it, but I was going to try to go to bed after midnight tonight. I know if I can wake up at my normal 5am, it will make me feel alive and like my old self, Im starting with an addiction therapist on Monday and I think that will give me some perspective as well, I just hope she is versed n Suboxone. If not I will have to school her lol. I know its still do early, I am so impatient, but I try to daty busy to get the days to go by quickly. Thank you so much for the kindness and advice. XX C.

[atthebeach]

Don't fear what could possibly happen tomorrow or next week.
We only have today. We bring so much anxiety on ourselves worrying about tomorrow. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.
The house can't always be spotless, we can't always make seven course meals.
Everyone has bad days, detoxing or not.
We have to learn to live life on life's terms. Roll with the punches.
You have made a huge step towards your recovery.
Be patient with the process.
Keep up the good work.
Debbie

[lulu747]

Hey-

Not gonna talk about PAWS because as everyone mentioned above- you don't have it.
I AM going to suggest, since you are only getting 4 hours sleep, that you go to bed later.
If you go to bed at 2 or 3 and wake up at 6 or 7, you will feel more 'normal'.  This is what I did/do.
I actually love the night, and I sleep waaayyyy better in the morning.  But I work an afternoon/evening job so it goes with my natural biorhythms in that I am the most active between 6 and 10 pm.
And Carrie Anne?  Stop googling things for the love of Jim.  I am with you, I can diagnose myself with a million things.  Just keep focused on one day at a time and walking that path to recovery.
You are doing awesome (and it is still very early days)
Proud of you....
Lu

[ScarrieAnne]

Thanks Doppel, see post below. I tend to research, freak out, put it perspective, and then calm down. its all good~cool like lemonade. XX C.

[ScarrieAnne]

lol thanks! I have a crazy peeka poo running crazy through my hose right now.

[ScarrieAnne]

The more ive read about it today, I think its just having bad days, a lot of addicts have underlying mental issues, like depression and anxiety. Even if youre not an addict some days are going to be bad, I don't currently believe in the whole theory, Its just addicts in recovery struggling and having to label it, or its big pharma making up a new syndrome so they can manufacture and market a new money making drug. Thanks for all the insight I am absolutely not worried about it anymore.

[EvolverU]

Morning Carrie Anne :)

Tsk..tsk! Eat what's on your plate before you go looking for seconds! ;)

I agree w/ Tony. PAWS has become a catch-all phrase that people tend to use to describe the lingering effects of healing from long-term use (I'm guilty of this myself as I had no other term to describe what I went through).. Worrying about this is definitely counter-productive it will distract you from the work @ hand, might cause you to miss the positive subtle changes that are taking place & might actually bring on negative stuff. The mind is uber-powerful (as you well know). All that exists is right now -- this current moment. That's all you've got to get through. Just one day @ a time, one hour @ a time, one minute @ a time.

All power to you & Big Props on day 16! ;)

[dominosarah]

The only PAWS you should worry about are the 4 legged ones!!  Focus on your recovery and stay in the day.   Congrats on 16 days!!

[weaver71]

I've done some research on PAWS, funny how I could never find a statistic on how many get it, in clinical studies. You hear things like, "Most people relapse due to PAWS," I think the layperson description of PAWS is any rough time after detox. Everyones emotions come back, it doesn't always feel pleasant, everyone has rough patches in life, it's not all because of drugs. IF I were to guess, something like .0001% of people get PAWS. That's pretty liberal though, because I doubt 1 in 10,000 people actually have clinical PAWS. Stop trying to get ready for what hasn't happened and probably won't happen. I have yet to meet a PAWS sufferer either. I have said that synthetic Opiates, like methadone, have a built in PAWS. The detox feeling is much longer than the 5 days to physically detox. That is me being cheeky though, it's just a long detox recovery, not PAWS. Focus on solutions of the future in this moment, avoid problems of the future in this moment. Eyes forward, head up, shoulders back, ready, March ON!

[dedicatedtostop]

Girl, I am here to put you in check:).... You can only focus on today! I have nothing to add to what the others already told you! And that weather, I think I recall you telling me just the other day when I was semi-complaining about the weather here, to bundle up by a nice warm fire. It's 20 degrees here and I can't seem to get warm. I am just laying on my heating pad for my back under a blanket. 16 Days is HUGE celebrate that in itself!! I am proud of you!

Hugz!

[ScarrieAnne]

not rambling, HELPING! They probably made it up to keep big pharma in business and people on opiates, suboxone is big money.I am ready for the long hard road to recovery I know I am strong enough and have enough fight in me to get through it, I already feel better than week one.I would not be doing this well without all of your support so thank you from the bottom of my heart, all of you. XOXO CarrieAnne

[ScarrieAnne]

Thanks Debbie, I don't think I have it, I was just concerned about getting it later, but Im not going to anymore.I cant worry about 6 months from now when Im focusing on staying clean today, this morning was the first time I have ever heard of it and it scared me, that's all..As I always say the universe doesn't give you anything you can t handle. XOXO and thank you

[ScarrieAnne]

THNAK YOU! all the mainstream medical literature make it sound like its a fact and it will happen to you, You just made me feel so much better! You are right day 16 is a huge accomplishment for me and I am going to savor it. I tend to obsess over things, Im in my head a lot but I am working on that,each day gets a little better. xoxo

[bama88]

I agree with ibkleen.  I've never really KNEW anyone who really had paws. I think someone from a physiological study or like you said made it up.  I don't know, I will tell you there are just bad days.  It is what it is....you know, but days change like our weather and so will your moods.  Just remember those bad days make the good days great.  The sour before the sweet.

Recovery is hard.  Life is hard.  But, there's a lot of good things that happen in life to.  And there will be a day you'll celebrate all this hard work and look at yourself and think...sucsess.

Now I feel like I'm rambling..lol.  Much support. Bama

[atthebeach]

On day 16 you are not experiencing,
Post acute withdrawal symptoms. (PAWS)

After years of drug abuse it can't be expected for your body to heal so quickly.

PAWS doesn't possibly occur until 3-6 months post
withdrawal. Here is a link about It.

http://www.medhelp.org/tags/health_page/45/Addiction/PAWS-part-1?
hp_id=39

Keep on keepin on.
Congrats on your clean time.
Debbie

[IBKleen]

You won't find anyone here who has been diagnosed with it. You may find some members who swear they had it but I am doubtful that they did. PAWS will not rear it's ugly head until six months out and it is VERY, VERY RARE. I don't know anyone who ever had it and I have been in and out of the fellowship of NA for 26 years..I met a lot of people to say the least. And I have been here 7 years. I don't know anyone here who has had it.

You need to focus in the moment. 16 days is awesome. But all you have is today. You will make yourself crazy if you start reading about things that will probably never happen. One day at a time......