day 6

[lesah]

I am not doing well.   Nothing helps.   It's going on 60 hours of zero sleep.  I am losing grip.  I haven't taken a pill but I do feel like I'm not going to be ok

[Yesidid]

You are not going crazy.  It is a phase we all have dealt with.  The lack of sleep complicates things. Another common mental issue for me at this point was the fear that I had damaged something in my brain and I would never be normal again.  No! You are not crazy and Yes you will get better.  Do you have anyone personally with you helping you through this? You are too tough for relapse: I think that we all can see that but having somebody with you can make a big difference. Also, do you have a doctor you can see. You have detoxed at home but a good doctor can recommend temporary medications for relief of the anxiety and sleep issues. Because they are Temporary Lesah but your brain is whacked out for now. So, do you have a trusted doctor? A roommate, boyfriend, husband?

[lesah]

Oh.. and I can't just take baths because of the type of splints they put on after the casts. I can't situate myself right to not get them wet.

[lesah]

I don't understand why is just now happening.   I should be getting better and it's worse.   It's torture to be so tired and just no hope.  I don't doze off.  I've been in bed in the couch in the basement. . I'm too hot or too cold.   My back doesn't hurt but it's an uncomfortable feeling that makes it impossible to relax.  Ive been literally trembling and crying since 6 pm yesterday.  I tried every suggestion.  Nothing.  In between sobs I pray.  I've never prayed so hard in my life. . No relief.   I don't have a Dr or insurance.   I'm on medical leave from work because I broke both wrists so there's no money.  It took all I had left to get casts put on.. The only thing I haven't done is go v to the hospital.   I'm afraid they'll put me on the syke floor and I have a one year old grand daughter I help take care of.  I don't go back to work for another month in a half.   I've already exhausted every penny.   I can't just go buy more things to try.  I prayed so hard for Jesus to take my dad and let it leave my head just for a little.   The images of him just run wild them seeing my mom yesterday.  Her not knowing me. . Omg it feels like I'm being tortured for being me.  No one understand.   My daughter says drink nyguil. Stop thinking.  But how?  She doesn't have an idea I was taking anything other than what she thought I was supposed to.  I don't know what to do.   I'm so scared.   I'm going to be my dad.  Or worse my mom.  Just an empty shell waiting to die

[lild713]

it should getbetter already if your on day 6th...Best of luck and trust me I stop and releaspe and lucky for these people but I always think about how it ****** up my life for past couple years and got me broke when I was working and saving and sold some stuff I wish I've had back =( I mean anyways hang in there! you can do it sound's typical but if we can then you can we all go through the same withdrawls.

[lild713]

I feel you on that and you're yawning non-stop correct, Dirahea and just tired and fall asleep randomly anytime?