dede

[dede2121]

i am back for awhile. i have had limited internet access.
but anyway. about 3 weeks ago i moved into my own apartment. i was feeling really good about everything. things were go. ing well. while moving i couldnt attend meetings so i slowly lost track of going.
need less to say i saw my sister in law and got a pill from her. i just thought to myself that 1 couldnt hurt. well it did. now i didnt take bunches of them just one or two here and there and not everyday. but the addiction is just as strong. so as of today i am getting back on the wagon. i really cant explain what caused me to fail but i did. and i have thought about this place everyday but was too ashamed to come here and admit failure.
luckily i am sick with the flu, again so i can use that as an excuse to be out of work. i dont think the withdrawls will be bad if at all since i didnt take too many.
i feel so bad because i failed you all. i just dont understand why i felt the need to take one again,
but i know what to do.

[dede2121]

i am still kind of tired but i am going to get up and go to a meeting tonight at a new place.
i guess i got too comfortable in my last quit that i forgot that i was an addict . i need the meetings to remind me.

[dede2121]

ahhh my friend jeff. thank you. i am trying again. i think i will win the fight. maybe i just have to stumble a time or two to get where i am going.

[jeffclowns]

just hang in there girl one day at a time ,i havent had munch internrt access myself  but saw u here and just wanted to say keep at it and you will win the fight ..god bless ...jeff..

[dede2121]

thanks mag and eye. dont know what i'd do without you all and everyone on here.
still struggling with being so hard on myself for failing. i am hoping this is it for feeling bad. hopefully this virus will go away completely in a day or two. and  the withdrawls also.

[eyeofhorus2010]

Good morning Dede, hope your feeling a little better today. Those times I would relapse after 40 to 50 days and use about as much as you did, my withdrawals were nothing more than mild RLS the first night and a day or two with a runny nose. I'm thinking you're already past the withdrawal stage of it and you're just dealing with that virus now.

Glad to see you're spending some quality time with your friends here at medhelp. I'll send you a message later. Feel better! Bob

[magnoliaooo]

     Yes I think if you started feeling better by day 4 before then you only have one more day!!!!  If you were only on the pills 3 weeks then I to think your withdrawls will be very mild. When I came off the last time I had been on them for a very long time so that is why I said my withdrawls were hard. I think you are well on your way to feeling better and I am so glad you came to the forum. I think your fatigue is also from the virus. I so wish you well I really enjoyed your post. Let me know how things go for you Stay in touch with us we are all here for you.

                                                                  Mag