Day 4

[mynewlife123]

Well, I have made it to day 4 of my recovery from pain killer addiction.  I am sitting here at work trying not to socialize too much.  I think any physical withdrawls have surpassed, but now I am fighting with the mental part.  I seem to be irritated a lot and am afraid I might either go off on someone at work or throw something at them! :)  I know this is a day by day process and am trying to fight as hard as I can.  Thank you so very much for all of the support out there - it has really helped to know that I am not alone with this.  God bless you all!

[atthebeach]

ok that is good news. yes many times suboxone is used to help with w/d symptoms but usually in a detox setting.

[mynewlife123]

He gave me enough to get me through Friday - I have to go back to see him in a few days to see how things are going.  I have been on Xanax for 6 years ( 2mg) since I have constant panic attacks.  I have ( still am ) been on anti-depressants for about 15 years & was recently put on Ambilify to give my anti-depressants a boost.  I started taking pain killers just on occasion, but I loved the feeling so much, that I just continued to take them on a daily basis.  Started with just taking a half of one, but before I knew it, I was up to taking 10 all at once and a few more during the day.  Not only has this addiction taken over my life, it has also put me in a financial bind!  I'm so ready to get past all of this!

[mynewlife123]

Thank you Minn for checking on me - it means a lot!  What happened today that has caused your distress?  I hope all is ok with you - I'm here if you ever need to vent!  Take care of your self!  We are here to help anyway we can!

[atthebeach]

oh my. you got xanax and suboxone?? how many suboxone did you get??
that is another whole can of worms!!!!!

[mynewlife123]

Thanks for your kind words!  Right now I really do not have any support other than you guys on MedHelp - I am so glad I have the support of others that can relate to my problems.  I was able to get a prescription for Suboxine to help with the withdrawls & am so glad that I did!  It really is a great help to me.  Tomorrow will be day 5 of me being clean & am asking God to continue to help me through this tough time!  I am also thankful to all of your support & advice.  I am determind to stay on the path of recovery so I can get my life back on track!  6 years of my "old" life was consumed with wanting to get high & now I can see my "new" life at the end of this long tunnel.  I am excited to have a normal life again!!!  Thanks to all for listening to & supporting me.  God bless you all!! :)

[LostNoMore]

I want to also caution you about the xanax. Please don't take it for longer than a week. As Iwill said earlier, benzos are hell to get off once you're addicted. Much longer WD's. I was doing both but managed to get off everything 50 days ago. My WDs have been rough but manageable. Just
accept that you're going to feel like you-know-what for a while and keep yourself occupied, hydrated and things will get better for you. Take care.

[corbear]

I'm soooo sorry your husband said that to you. OMG it makes me so upset. I was so afraid to tell my husband about my addiction but I did and he is so supportive. I couldnt imagine him saying that to me. I feel so bad for you. You need someone in your life to support you during this trying/rough time. Well everyone here is there for you. No body sets out to become an addict to these damn pills. I'm almost done with my taper. Its been hard, really hard but i'm seeing it through this time. I couldnt of done it with the help of my husband. Hes amazing. He works afternoons, only gets a couple hours a sleep at night til our 2yr old wakes up. He has been taking care of him and the house. If it were up to me this house would be a disaster.
I hope you have someone in ur life to support you. Take care!!!!!!! We care about you!!!!!!!!!!

[jlannspr]

I also have an RX for xan's, but this go around have chosen not use it. Lord knows I don't want anything else to d/t from. The edginess is the worst for me after the physical symptoms. At day 15, it's not near as bad, as days 5-10. I was so mean and I know it.

[minn66]

Hi! I just wanted to share my support and let you know I am thinking of you during this struggle. I am having a rough day myself but together we can make it!

Love and blessings,

Minn :)

[IwillDoThis]

Yes I am with you, my nerves are so freyed right now even the windsheld wipers in the car yesterday set me on edge.  Be careful with the xanax - w/d from that is worse than the pain pills and i was on a low dose.  I'm 34 days off hydros and I'm 3 days off xanax and I am on EDGE much moreso than with the hydros.  I tried to go off all at once and just couldn't do it.  Because I was on such a low dose of xanax I never considered it to be an issue until I tried to come off - I was on only 1 mg at night, I wasn't abusing it and I've had to slowly taper down 1/4 mg at a time.  I wasn't really educated on it and I so I wanted to share my stuggle with you as a cautionary tale.

I'm so lucky I work from home and have been able to just deal with this at home but when I do go out I want to stab people in general and that is so not me.

Hang in there, you are not alone!

[mynewlife123]

Thank God I was able to get a prescription of Xanax to relieve the anxiety and to help me sleep!  Im still craving pain killers all day and wish I could stop because it makes me a horrible person to be around right now.  It also effects my concentration at work - i just want relief, as I know all of you do too.  Thank you so much for all of the support during this time - i have no one else to turn to.  When I spoke to my husband about how I am feeling, all I get from him is, " you did it to yourself"!  Supportive huh?  Thanks guys!!!! :)

[Sharon0255]

I'm doing the same here at work and trying to keep my mouth shut. I go to a noon AA meeting every day and sometimes again at 4 and it helps. I'm pretty sure this is a 2 meeting day. I'm hoping to start exercising more soon haven't had any energy yet.
I'm just so grateful I didn't loose my job while using that's a blessing but I have a lot to repair here a day at a time. Hang in you're doing ok even if it doesn't feel ok.

[jlannspr]

I hear ya! Everyone was asking me "what's wrong" even my friends. I'm thinking in my head, if you only knew!! haha, it does get better. I was so aggravated with the anxiety and agitation. I took my lunch breaks to go walking at the track, and try to get fresh air. Keep it up.