distraught

[valleypeach]

so glad I found this forum today. I am getting very scared. I started taking darvocet in 2005, my brother was supplying them. Then I hernieted a disc and was in terrible pain, the dr's prescribed vicoden and then Oxy. I have been on oxycodone for the last 4 years but have been able to keep the dose relatively stable. My pain mgmt doc prescribes 45-60mg a day but i only take about half that. I have been squirreling the reest away and now have several bottles of 15mg pills. I want to stop taking this stuff. i read that it can cause depression, which I have had a terrible time with. But worse, taking narcotics can trigger serious bouts of anger, crying and other emotional disturbances particularly if you have borderline personality disorder, which I found out I do have. I want off of these meds and want my old self back. But I cant seem to gather the courage to flush all of the pills. What do I do about that? Also, do you think that even though I have been using for 7 years, that I will have an easier time going CT? Should I try to taper instead? all help is appreciated!

[valleypeach]

Pitbullmom, very good point, I had not thought of that. I've read several posts that say a week between each step-down dose should work ok. I plan on stepping down 5mg/day until I get to 10, then go to by 2.5 per day.
I still havent figured out how I am going to bring myself to flush all of the extra. I guess that is the real test. I dont have anyone to help me step down. My husband doesnt even know I am taking these; I sleep in a seperate room (long story).
Thank you everyone for all of the good advice!!

[pitbullmom]

using for 7 yrs even if it was 10 mgs a day will  b hard to w/d from il tell ur dr u need  a taper plan most likely he will b happy u want off of them

[littlebit667]

someone else posted something that might help you get some point of reference!

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/Thank-you-for-helping-me-get-my-life-back/show/1770866

[littlebit667]

Tapering is always best, if you can!  We can't give a taper schedule, but I can say the slower the better.  You have to give your body time to adjust to the new amount..some say 4 days - a week between changes.  At the lower doses you may start to feel some withdrawal symptoms.  Those that were able to taper said the withdrawals were there, but not as bad as some of us who had no control and had to go CT! (like me).  Having said that you are taking about 30 mg a day??  Do you still have pain??  Have you considered what other options you have for pain management??

I understand you need to get off...I too felt that the depression was taking hold with them and found once off for about 2 months the depression got better.  

The pills tended to numb me and kept me from actually living my life and actually experiencing things like joy, excitement, sadness, etc.  So getting used to that has been tricky, but worthwhile.  I had to give myself permission to deal as I could.  

There are some over the counter tricks that will help so when you are ready we can share those.  Best to get them before you start detoxing if you go CT.  

Glad you got here!  I promise you will get support and others with more experience and better words will chime in.  

[Sonrissa]

Hi there and welcome! How much are you currently taking per day? If you have the discipline to taper then I think that would be the way to go! I tried to taper but I couldn't do it so I ended up going cold turkey! Either way will work! With tapering the withdrawal symptoms will be lighter but last longer, with cold turkey the withdrawal symptoms will be more intense but last for a shorter time! Make sure to read the Thomas Recipe at the bottom of the page for vitamins and supplements you can take to help ease the symptoms! Please post here with any questions or if you need support! Take care and all the best!