getting clean

[stilltrying1965]

I want to say tht i will come of heroin tis time for sure. im 100% commited to acheiving my goal ( clean happy and liveing life the way it should be. My first step today was to flus the heroin i d left and that felt so good.( £150 pounds worth ) and tat made me so happy. I am so muc more determind to suceed to beat my demons my wife and i ad a long talk and Kim was right life cant go on like this no more. tommorrow,at 3 oclock tomorrow i will be into my second day. And the more days i get past the less likely i will go back on heroin and i also know that the longer i stay clean the less likely i will go back to heroin. I have to do tis has to be my last chance for if i dont my life will be over.And i do ave so muc to live for my self my wife my children and my family. I want them to be proud of me. heroin is one of the hardest drugs to get of it gets a grip of you quickly and wont let go easy. It talks to me telling me one more time except one more time is back on the road to HELL and i cant go on like that anymore. Iv let everyone down all my family i only want to see them get there dad, husband bros and sisters back living the clean good drug free life. we must all keep on rocking in the free world. when i was clean for 200 plus days last time oh our lifes were so better i want thst feeling again. nobody said it would be easy only worth it. now that is a real fact the good clean life. I know now i hve reached my bottom life just gets worse te longer i take it. So now i have my warriour spirit back and will enter the fight of all fights.And not if i win but when i win i will have to keep figting for my freedom heroin freedom that is what the good life is all about so willpower,curage and deternination. i think i have found those tree things .But i hope iv got it in me for my last fight god willing,,,,,,James

[daisy699]

James....just checking in!! I don't see any posts here from you yet just curious as to wat's up and how ur doing???Post when u can Ik i speak for alot of us that ur in,our thoughts and prayers...with love Daisy...and please remember post anything that may be goin on even if u haven't started we are not in judgement of you we just care :)

[Beccabeccalynn]

A well earned congrats to you seems like you have a very positive additude it's nice to see. You are so worth it.! Becca

[gnarly_1]

hey dude im so happy to here you flushed it....that took guts...now your on your way
to sobriety and b/4 you know it you will have another 200 days clean you can do this James ....I dont know what its like kicking heroin but I kicked methadone one of its brothers and it totally su@#ed so im praying for you will you go thew your detox
Im not here to shove God down your throat but he was instrumental in helping me with my withdrawals and also a lot of life issues....Jesus came to set the captives free
and theirs not much more captivating then addiction....he has much love and grace to give those that call out his name....you may want to give it a try...he helps those that ask and theirs nothing that can separate you from his unconditional love....good luck and God bless......Gnarly      

[Radiostar55]

James, we are pulling for you..Take it 1 minute then 1 hour at a time. And most important STAY AWAY from your dealer or friends who use. It's must!  You are a great father, Husband, and brother and lean on your family and us here at MH for support!

G

[daisy699]

Hi James!!! So good to hear from you!! I made apost this a.m as u were on my mind and I wanted to check in w/ u and no I am still here buggin you!!! look threw you'll find it:) Then to my surprise I got great news in hearing that u had flushed the reaming drugs!!!! A BIG HUG AND PAT IN THE BACK TO YOU!!!! I was so happy to hear that and now I am happy to hear ur feelin strong and determined...I thought alot of u last nite at the wake strange as it is (id even no u) but I no ur struggles and dire sit. which keeps playin on my mind..as i had said b4 I felt a connection from ur beg. posts about u and kim kicking as i was in the very same sit. I didn't write much just read and drew alot of strength from ur posts knowing I wasn't alone there are other h addicts on here strugglin to even though a drug is a drug and addiction is the same for all.....SUC*Y!! any way glad to hear from you! get on ur med help and start that tracker again and start putting those days together!!!Soso proud of u for makin the right choice for u and Kim and the kids....Daisy

[stilltrying1965]

thank you everyone i had tears in my eyes reading allyour posts, i didnt realise so many people cared and it as given me the strength, courage and determination to do this i believe all your strength yous are sending me is getting through as i feel stronger and more determind than ever and i ave been given anoter chance at life and i am going to grab it with both hands and hold on to it for dear life. I thank god that i am still here, although i dont shoot it up it still kills us as it does serious damage to our bodies and eventually our organs cannot take anymore and our bodies just shut down but im so glad that god has allowed me to still be here, but i know i av no chances left and i am not willing to take anymore chances my family need me i thank you all for your support it means so much to me. much love to you all....james

[daisy699]

YYYYAAAAAAYYYY JAMES!!! I wrote a post this a.m askin about  u and got wonderful news wen i was directed to this post :) U FLUSHED...WOW Now that's a great jump start..U were on my mind at the wake and first thing this a.m as today is my 9 mos and last nite was really tough,that I want more than anything for sm 1 ik only threw a website to make it..I find it strange how god works..U helped me in the begininng while u and Kim were startin out and now u seem to be in the back of my mind????? U are in my prayers hope ur feeling ok physically please let us all no wen u can ...once a gain great job..Daisy

[cleanmom]

Congrats James on finding this wisdom within yourself. Don't lose it, because you have so many beautiful things you would lose along with it. And remember, should the occasion ever arise again (God willing it wont), remember to look through the drug, meaning if you use it, all of your struggles and crap will be waiting again right on the other side, if you were to survive another use of it. This strength is in you, all powerful and we are here to help pull you through. Lean on Kim, lean on us and other sources of support you can find. I'm here for you James, fighting the fight along with you........ All My Love and God Bless, Jacky

[worried878]

James..glad u r fightng so hard..glad u r seeking aftercare to help u fight this battle!  Keep posting

[vicki595]

James~~  I'm really glad you flushed the stuff...you know you had to...I'm very relieved for you.

Now,do the work. And it IS work. Getting clean is like a job;you do it every day.

You know,EVERY drug is hard to stay away from.It just depends on a person's drug of choice. When we're addicted,our drug always has it's claws in us.  Mine did...it was awful;I loved it and it loved me back.  I dreamed of it constantly.  It was no picnic getting off of it...I HAD to taper due to risk of seizures,etc... I felt like I was losing a dear friend.  I can never go back to that...I almost died James...  I'm going off topic here but I want you to know that I understand...

You need therapy and you need to stop numbing the pain of the past...You are the sweetest man and important to your family.  I'd really hate to see you end up like Thomas (Thomas Recipe).   Gone too soon...

Love to you and Kim~~

Vicki

[pharma9]

I am so glad you flushed the remaining H.That took sheer determination.Now get ready to fight the fight of your life and be determined to win.Get all the vitamins to help you and keep posting for we are all behind you..

[moonshyne777]

James,

  I think your set to conquer!! And flushing that must have felt good not to mention took a lot of balls. Your going to do it and you have my prayers and sending you big cyberhugs!!

Are you still doing the meetings? I'm going to start going this week at least a few times a week and start seeing a therapist very soon. I've realized that in order to be ok in my own skin I need to get help to let go of the past to be able to get and stay clean. Make sure lots of aftercare is in your plan, from everything I've read on here the people with lots of clean time incorporate a serious aftercare plan in their recovery and it seems that it really helps a them stay clean for the long run.

Way to go James!! Give it all you got and no doubt you will find yourself with another 200+ days very soon and just keep rocking on after that!! Eye of the tiger James, you got the eye of a tiger :)

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Put that Warrior Spirit in gear and get it done..............its nothing that you havent done before.     The only easy day was yesterday - -  tomorrow is yet to come.   Fight the good fight and win it!!  Dump the smack - it will not let you go until you either quit it or die.  trust me here - - i am quite lucky to be alive myself.

[jt808]

(sorry bout spelling in advance im at my work computer an its bad) ok buddy well sounds like u really kno wht u GOT TO DO and get straight for once an for all an i have got ur back 110% anythng u need or just feel like screaming ill b hear. i have also set a pplan for myself and i hope tht u can get this done and get back to how u felt when u were 200 days clean i kno it couldnt of been easy but just thnk back bout how great u felt and how proud ur family kim an ur kids were of u and get tht back plus alot more days there really isnt much more to be said bud u just gota do it i mean me an u been on here awhile bud an its alota the same stuff with us we talk about changing and quiting an this an that an quite frankly im sick of it i kno that the only way to do is is just put dwn the sht and just man up and walk the walk and im gona follow ur lead buddy i may be a few days behind ya but not many so stay striong an get ready to be in on hellva fight but kno that uve already kicked the  "H's" a-s-s before and he dont have anythng on u so take him out for once and for all. ill b here if ya need and so will all the others on here but u already kno tht so just ask if ya need somethn. and ill be right behind bud. an tht was sum tough sht by flushing tht garbage. GOOD LUCK & BE STRONG