help! withdrawls while taking care of children

[shelby001]

i was wondering if any out there had to go through wd's while taking care of young children?  how did you do it?  any advice?  i tried to taper but was unable, i just couldn't do it, so now i'm preparing to go through wd's while caring for my twin 19 month olds?  will i be able to?  i'm getting really scared.  i REFUSE to get another prescription, i am so ready to be done with this, it's killing me and my family.  i live in a very small town and we just moved here so i haven't made any friends, friends who could possibly watch my kids for any length of time during the day.  my husband is always out of town for business so it's just me.  i want to get off this stuff so bad, the pills are no longer really giving me enjoyment, i'm actually getting really irratated, sad, and angry from them, it's time to quit!  unfortunately i've been riding this rollercoaster with pills for about 6 years so i know my wd's will not be pleasant in the least bit.  each time i've quit (run out) the wd's have seemed to get worse so i know i'm in for a difficult time.  
anyway, just looking for some support from any of you "caregivers", just need to know that i CAN do this!!
thank you, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[mom2rachie]

Hun, I KNOW how you feel..... all I can say is when ou're ready, you're ready.  You'll know it.
I woke up one morning and literally said out loud that today was the day I was either killing myself or getting help.  I went to my first meeting.
I was DONE.
I would NEVER tell anyone how to get clean, but I can help by telling them how I STAY clean and that's all I can do because that's all I know, for today at least. The ONLY reason I KNOW HOW to stay clean a day at a time is because I have learned to listen and listened to learn from the countless others who have come before me.
And I am confident that JUST FOR TODAY, I don't have to use.  Tomorrow could suck big time but right now, as I type this, I'm clean and I can't ask for anything more than that.
Best of luck to you!
xoxox

[emilyanne]

Hi There! I was clean from pills ( anything I could get as long as they were painkillers ) for two years and recently had a relapse...I've been on ten mg percocets, about ten a day, for about 3 months. Today is my 2nd day without anything, and I have a 4 year old. I'm a stay at home mom, and my son is very active. I don't know if this will help you, but what is helping me is this thought process: I am a wonderful, attentive, loving mother and I'm actively involved in playing with my son, taking him on outings, etc. The way I look at it is, one week of "the flu", where I can't do all the things I normally do with him, WONT KILL HIM. As long as your children are loved, fed, clothed, etc, then they will BE FINE if they have to go for a week or so without your constant attention. Today has been pretty rough, but what i've done is said mommy has the flu, and id love to play with you but i'll need to do it while laying down on the couch. I curl up with my heating pad and he sits on the couch with me and plays cars, etc. Also, he's been watching ALOT of tv the last two days. He is normally allowed 30 minutes a day, in the morning only, of tv time. However, it WONT KILL THEM to spend more tv time for a week. Your kids wont remember a MOMENT of this week when they're older, but what they WILL remember is if you die from an overdose or liver damage.
Go to the store, buy a gate, child-proof a room that has a comfy area for you to lie down in, and let them entertain each other. ALSO, take baths WITH THEM!! My son is a little too old now to have a bath with me, but 19 months is not. Squeeze on in there with them and read them a book or make bubbles for them to splash around in. It won't be easy...its hard for me with only one, and he's 4 and old enough to entertain himself for 20-30 minutes at a time, but this will be so worth it. I've noticed that in the mornings, i have the most energy, so as soon as I wake up, I make lunch, get snacks together, sippy cups, etc, so that all I have to do is pull stuff out of the fridge and feed him when it comes time. I hope that helps some, and feel free to post to me anytime. We can get through this together!!!

[shelby001]

i have to agree with you mom2rachie.  i do believe some, including myself, don't feel absolutely, without a doubt ready to get clean.  the reason being, the pills make you feel good.  i had severe depression about 10 years ago.  i mean really severe depression.  i would have done ANYTHING to get better.  i went to therapy, tried different medications, made myself eat right, went to group therapy, got help from my family, talked with God daily, exercised (even though it killed me) nearly check myself in, you name it i would do it.  why, because i felt like total and complete **** and i didn't want to feel like that, i wanted so badly to be happy again.  with being addicted to pills, pills that make you feel great, things aren't that bad, i feel good so it's much, much, more difficult to quit.  that's why i believe a lot of people wait until they absolutely have hit rock bottom before they become clean, for the simple reason they don't want to be in that place anymore.  you know, to be honest, i haven't told anyone or seeked a doctor out to get help getting off this **** because i know way, way back in the recesses of my brain, i don't want that being in my medical charts.  crazy and as stupid as that seems i know i think, what if i need pain meds in the future (have horrible back problems) i would NEVER be able to have them again.  sick but true.  not that i'm not going to try my absolute best to get off these pills.  i'm a fairly intelligent person and know what this use can lead to and hate all the lies and scheming and know it's not a way to live but i'm not anything like i was 10 years ago.  anyway, i do agree with you.  that's what makes addiction so hard to deal with, especially these pill because they make you "feel good", a false good but good nonetheless and you can funtion where someone who has an alcohol addiction may not be able to.  i'm kinda just blabbing now, so i'll stop but i definitley see your point.
shelby

[avisg]

While this is a great place the this isn't aftercare and it very important everyone get some .I have been clean about  well 500 days tomorrow . I have manged to stay clean because I have a recovery care program.As soon as you can I would look into something for yourself .Honestly the getting clean is the easy part staying clean is the hard part.

[mom2rachie]

I'm going to quote you here:
"This has been a God send to me because I am at home and the thought of trying to find a meeting for this kind of thing wasn't something I was willing to do. Here you don't have to look pretty, be in control or act like you are something you aren't.  You can come when you can and be supported by everyone who has been going through it too! "

In the Big Book of AA they say that we MUST BE WILLING TO GO ANY LENGTHS FOR SOBRIETY.  How many of us are?
Everyone here can easily say how bad they want to get clean and stay clean, although mostly I see people wondering how to get through withdrawals and rarely do I see people asking what to do next in order to get answers from anyone who has considerable (a year or more) clean time.
You say you weren't willing to find a meeting.  Seems strange that at our very lowest point, our darkest hour, that one wouldn't want to and be willing to do anything to be anywhere other than in that place.  

Just an FYI for all you meeting phobics out there:

You don't have to look pretty in meetings.
You don't have to have a special handshake.
You don't have to talk to anyone.
You don't have to show up.  
No one takes attendence although it IS a great feeling when you're missed and people actually DO miss you when you're not there.
You don't have to share anything about yourself if you don't want to.
Hell, you don't even have to give the dollar when they pass the bucket around.

THE ONLY REQUIREMENT IS A DESIRE TO STOP USING. End of story, a DESIRE... you can show up high or drunk and they would STILL welcome you.

It's so easy for us to say great encouraging things to other people and even to ourselves, sometimes even believing the words we're actually typing when we know it's a bold face lie because we are in the comfort of our own home. That isn't true for many but certainly true for some.
We aren't being looked in the eyes. We aren't couting on people to share their experience, strength and hope in front of us so we can see the pain in their eyes when they discuss the way they used to be and we don't have to show others the shame we feel when we first walk through those doors. We aren;t able to look at someone we would NEVER befriend in the "real world" and see how much PAIN we have in common.

I'm for whatever works for a person based on my personal belief that everyone is different BUT if everything you've done isn't working and if you are desperte to change your life not just interested in getting clean for a while, why not try NA/AA.  
It's saved MANY a person's life and after a while you don't go to meetings because you have to or because you want to use anymore; you go so you can help the new person who is barely capable of putting one foot in front of the other. You go to show them that it works, it really works!!!! (if you work it)

I can be anyone I want to be at home on this forum but in person, in REAL life, I can only be me and until I was ready to let people see ME for ME, I was still as sick as my secrets.
AA has taught me how to get and stay clean and it's also taught me how to be a better person, an accountable person who helps others because I should and because I can.

I know I'm going to get pounced on for this but God bless everyone anyway!!
    
  

[avisg]

Yup I sure did not only do I have them when I went threw WD. I was working with them .I just did it ,It was rough at times but in the end it helped me keep my mind focused (as much as I could .It not easy but it can be done .Is there anyone to help at all with the kids?

[cc70]

I am right there with you!!!! I live in a new place where NO ONE can no...today is my first day of Vicodine and I am staerting to feel slight w/d. I have 2 small children and I work full time. I am at work right now....I found an addiction specialist on line in a city about 20 minutes from my home/work. I am going today to get some meds to help me through it. It isn't much and nothign that will make them go away and Nothign like SUBOXONE......but I am hoping enough that I can pull the next 4 days off......I will call in sick to work if needed this week....but I have a house to run too and I have a husband who CAN NOT know either...I was clean and sober for over 13.5 years.....he has 11 years....he woudl be crushed and as much as I love him he is not compassinate and will be very resentful and judgmental.....so I called my one best friend who lives 3000 miles away and one local woman who I met at a meeting here in my new town about 3 years back...I can't live with the secret alone. Please stay in touch...I will say that this forum has been very helpful with people who have been through it all. I might suggest you try to see a Dr. and see if you can get on clondine or other light drugs for a few days to help through the rough spots. I am hoping it will help me enough that I will somehat function.....But I look into my lovely little girsl eyes and I am doing this for them!!! I am done...I am tiered of it all...I even flushed my last vicodines down the toilet last night (a very scary but liberating thing) and have no more refills and just excepting I am done...I may be uncomfortable but it will just be like having the flu for 4 days......let me know how you are doing!!!

[Amysdone]

Shelby,

My heart goes out to you!  My evil drug is not the same (tapering off Tramadol), but the emotions must be as raw as what you are feeling.  I know all too well how the dirty little secret eventually becomes your hell right along with the meds.  My children are older now (10 and 14) and they have heard their share of "mommy doesn't feel well" over these past 5 or so years.  I have hidden my problem from them, but they knew I took pills for pain.  No one knew how many though!  

Do you think your husband might have any idea of your use?  He may know more than he's letting on and it might be the biggest relief to tell him.  If you are like me, you are ashamed for letting it get this bad and you don't want anyone to know that you are addicted.  However, by day 3 or 4 my husband could tell something wasn't right with me because I couldn't stop crying!  I had a break down and at that moment I think he realized that I was VERY scared, ashamed and that I just needed someone to listen to me.  After that, the emotional part seems to be getting better and that was only 2 or 3 days ago (I'm still in a fog at this point, but it's getting better).  Possibly try to get the courage to talk to him about this.  Even if you don't want to tell him everything, feel him out to see if he knew you were using the pills.

And MOST of all, get back here when you feel you can!  Read other people's experiences and post as much as you can.  This has been a God send to me because I am at home and the thought of trying to find a meeting for this kind of thing wasn't something I was willing to do. Here you don't have to look pretty, be in control or act like you are something you aren't.  You can come when you can and be supported by everyone who has been going through it too!

[shelby001]

no, my husband doesn't know.  i know the hiding and scheming to keep him from knowing has only hurt our marriage but for some reason i'm unable to let him in.  actually no one knows of my problem.  i've always been the "strong" one, the one who always took care of herself, so mentally it's been really hard to tell my husband, family or friends even though i know i would get support.  anyway, i'm in for the fight, i'm willing to go through hell to get better.  thanks for your support
shelby

[tim772]

You are going to be a great mother through all of this.  A walk to the park will do wonders for everyone involved.  Quick question, does your husband know or are you like most of us and hide it from everyone?

[mk1964]

Hey.
Yeah, just got to day 9 with a 7mth old and active 2 years old. All I can say w/o knowing who's around, if you can get help, even one person that knows what you're going through do it. The other thing...with each ache, pain, craving, bad days remember to look at them and realize that is why you are doing this. You can't see it now, but 7 days, which sounds like forever if you just HANG in there, light will come through the window and each day the drapes get open wider.

[shelby001]

thanks to everyone who has responded!  i know this will be a very hard week for me, i'm preparing myself mentally.  i just want to be a good mother during this time and am scared to death!  i will try and rest when they are napping and have a lot of "down time" with them.  a good walk to the park would probaly do wonders for all of us also.  
thanks for all the encouragement, i certainly need it
shelby

[tim772]

Don't have to tell you it's going to be rough. As mentioned above tell the kids mommy is sick.  When they take a nap, its time for you to take a hot hot bath or shower,  This will make it better for a little while. In fact take on when you can.  I took some advil and this helped with the aches and pains.  Try and eat what you can and plenty of water.  Trying to sleep will be rough but the kids will be down for the night and that makes it easier. Read other post for other ideas.  Oh yea try not to watch the clock it seems to move backwards.  IT DOES GET EASIER.  
Post here as much as you need.  This site is a saver.
Good Luck will be thinking of you.
Tim

[refusingbondage]

Hi - Congratulations on your decision indeed.  Its the best decision you can make for yourself and your children.  Basically just want to reiterate what the above posts says - I told my family I had the flu.  Rent lots of movies and cuddle on the couch.  Your children will survive for sure and you and them will be better for it once all is said and done.  Have lots of easy to make food around, movies, etc and yes, tell them you have the flu.  You should be feeling a lot better by the 5th or 6th day.  I know it seems like such a daunting sitatuation but you can do it - you will get through it.  Good luck and take care.

[milfmichelle]

I would advise you to just do what you can when you can. Prioritize. If everyone is clean, dressed, and fed (and loved), you're okay. Have some cuddle time, TV time, play on the floor time, etc.

Don't forget to take your vitamins and drink H2O. Try to eat something.

I have gone off of my pills before while taking care of 3 small children and it is not easy because they obviously do not understand. I'm also a fan of the "Mommy's not feeling well" to help you get by.

I will keep you in my thoughts. I am actually going through the same situation and taking care of a sick child. Congratulations on your decision and I hope you feel like yourself again soon.