Fentanyl addicted while pregnant

[SaraahOConnor]

Hello all,
I'm in trouble and in a lot of need for help, advice and hopefull words.
I'm addicted to Fentanyl for 6 months now. Before that I took temgesic 0.2 (= same as subutex/suboxone).
I didn't use those meds with 'the help' of a doctor but got them in my hands by the illegal way...
I only have 2 25ug and 2 50ug fentanyl patches and some tramadols and it's all gone. I want to taper down 'cause I'm 3 months pregnant and want to give birth to a non - addicted and healthy baby with a healthy mom.
Can you please help me how I have to taper them down?
Also important to mention that I chew on them, I don't put hem on my skin. I chew +/- 25ug a day... Please help? I'm so so ashamed...

Kind greets,
Sara

[gnarly_1]

Hi and welcome to the forum.....well being pregnant you really need to get a doctor involved....they should be able to taper you off with a short acting opiet  please see your obgyn b/4 you try to do this many will keep you on until you give birth  it is vital you get your prescription from a doctor or your going to risk loosing you baby when the drug shows up in its blood at birth keep posting for support.....Gnarly

[dominosarah]

You need to see your OB and tell him/her what you have told us.  This is very important.  Fentanyl isnt anything to mess with as it is very strong and you dont have enough to taper down safely being pregnant as the baby feels everything you do and then some.  I know you are scared but telling your secret will lift a ton of stress off your shoulders.  Do you have a supportive spouse?  First baby?  We understand what you are going thru so please keep talking to us, we care~

[KC617]

i had a miscarriage trying to do it on my own. then after losing the baby i got a lot worse! get to a doc ASAP!

[dominosarah]

I am sorry that happened to you.  I hope your words speak to her~

[SaraahOConnor]

Hello all,
Thank you for the answers... I'm on day 3 and have cut my use of to 12ug per day. I try to wait as long as possible for me to handle the w/d's... And then I chew on a very little piece of fentanyl.. The w/d's are not completely gone but are doable.  And everything is still prettydoable.I expect to come off it completely next week and hopefully have a healthy baby...
I understand your concerns with me wanting to do this alone, but I'm supposed to be clean now after several hospital and psychiatric stays... This was my last chance I got from family, friends and my man. I don't want to lose them, I was stupid to use them because I have severe back - pains. Ironic that I didn't used them for a high, just for the pain. I have to do this by myself...

[jifmoc]

Sarah- you will lose. If you do this on your own, you will lose.  You are trying to get clean and bring a baby into this world by lying. You are crossing your fingers hoping to have a healthy baby? Your child will get taken away from you if you're not honest. If you tell your dr, at least you have a chance. Get your pride out of the way, stop trying to save face, and think of your BABY, who is the innocent in all this. Tell your obgyn now.

[SaraahOConnor]

I want to tell my story so others in the same situation can pull force out of this.
On the 11th febr I quit CT coming from 6 a 12ug daily.
Today is day 7 and I feel the physical symptoms are starting to reduce, the psychological ones are much heavier right now.
I feel depressed and scared but can cope with it just with saying that everythings gonna be ok with a couple more weeks.

The first 3 days I lived in bed, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't drink, FREEZING cold and - very frustrating - restless limps (have to move my legs, arms constantly). Due to the lack of fluids and food (couldnt hold it in, threw up several times a day), I still feel weak and a 70% of the person I was.
On day 4 I went to my doc (think I needed an hour to get to him while I normal do this in 5min), told him (begged him) to give me suboxone or temgesic. Thank god he wouldn't give this to me. He said i was on day 4 and the worst should be over now.
He gave me loramet 2mg for sleep - aid. Past 3 nights i took 3/4 of a pill to be able to sleep (still have that awfull restlessness => when will this past?...).
On day 5 I felt strong, doc gave me an ultrasound and thank god everything is perfect. It's a little girl. She's strong and healthy and WILL BE BORN SOBER! This is what i wanted and i did it.
Day 6 felt like i was stepping back, this is where the mild depression kicked in.
Lost 6kilo's, lost (temporarily) joy in life but i will have a healthy girl who has a sober mom (and she swears she will never use any of those disgusting, difficult to come off and addictive meds again...)

[SaraahOConnor]

I'm sorry for my english too, it's not my mother language.
Thank you all.
Sarah

[KC617]

i really hope you are sober still but for some reason I just dont have high hopes because of no support.  I am seriously concerned knowing that fentanyl is not something you just come off of.  I have my own addition problems that I continue to work my program but I also have loved ones who are currently on a struggle with getting sober from Fentanyl.  One family member OD and would not be here right now if here 9 year old didnt find her in time, and the other one has 2 kids and keeps moving from place to place because no one can help her without her helping herself.  I have been doing research on it and to find out it is 50 to 100 times more powerful than oxy or heroin is really scary!  I really truly hope you are doing well but I just dont see it possible without working a program... please update I really hope you and the baby are doing well, from the deepest part of my heart!

[SaraahOConnor]

Hello all,

I'm proud to say I'm 3 months sober today. My babygirl is very healthy and big for her 23 weeks.
It is true that it's difficult to stop -esp CT - without any suport, but I'm a living example it can be done...
After being sober for 2 months I still had restless legs, slept terrible and my body was so weak. But here I am, gained a healthy 7kg's, eating only healthy foods and try to deal with a life in pain. When I abused fentanyl I used it everytime when I had a little pain, I had difficulties struggling with the pain coming up again. Had difficulties to see how beautiful life can be (still not see it everyday tho...), but I'll (and that beautifull little creature inside me) be fine... Just wanted to update my situation, it's not something I'm proud of but I'm happy when I see where I am now. No drugs, no pills, no nothing.
Grts, Sara

[jerry4664]

a true warrior thanks for the update stories like yours gives hope to those looking to jump or wondering if they can make it another hour day week etc. best wishes to both of you..

[dominosarah]

Thank you for the update!  Congrats on 3 months clean!!  Keep us updated on your pending arrival.  

[gnarly_1]

Hi Saraah .....thanks for bringing us up to date.....well count your blessings nothing went wrong  im so happy to here you and your baby got threw all of this.....the thing about addiction is it doesent stop just because the drugs do........your still stuck with the addict in your head...as you can see the mental aspect is harder to deal with then the acute withdrawal...I call it the mental ''mind screw''  and these feelings and emotions wont go away on there own....this is why we push aftercare so hard on the forum.....you can see a tharpist a substance abuse conslor even the past of your church but you need to dig deep inside to figure out what is driving you to use  for me the N/A progam has worked the best  it is a simple 12 step progam that treats the addict...it is free the meetings are olny a hour long and the support is second to none....it will give you some place safe to share with others that will understand....you know it sounds like you have been struggling with addiction for a wile...hence the family giving you your ''last chance''  they should be very open to anything that helps your recovery....please dont try to skip this critical part of recovery  more then likely it is why you have struggled b/4  just google a N/A meeting  in your area and just check it out...as always keep posting for support.....Gnarly