just want to talk

[sd_comedian]

I had  well have,( took my last yesterday)  habbit  wih  Norco. I have been taking 20 10-325 tabs at a time 4 times a day, sometims 5. Its gonna killmy liver and maybe me. I just got some detox meds but I have tried to detox twice  before but kept coming up with an xcuse why I need to get back on them I am married and have 2 young girls...4 and 12.  I want this to be over but its hard especially since my wife doesnt know how to deal with this or how to help me. So...anyone who would like to talk and help support each other would be great. ets help each other kick this nasty habbit for good. Also, any one who can give some  advice to my  wife on here on how to and how important it is to help me would be great. She is VERY upset and really does not want to even talk to me any more, just leaves mealone to deal with this on  my own. I need her and she doenset want to help me. I wish she know that I REALLY need her right now. Please help
.

[weaver71]

Hey, you might want to start a new thread with you current state. Sometimes these things get so long they get lost. Anyway, Opiates screw up our heart and lungs along with brain chemistry. That sensation in your chest sounds familiar, and I think it was my lungs trying to heal combined with anxiety, but I was on lots of methadone with liquor, so no acetomenophine. Your body needs amino acids, vitamins, and minerals to heal and start making natural pain killers and mood stabilizers. Be careful of the Pink Cloud, as they call it in recovery. The feeling of freedom you get when you first get clean is amazing and liberating and dangerous without after care. I am the master of relapse. You seem like a cool guy with a lot to lose, so I hope you start to set up a plan of support and counsel for when you think you have it whipped and are tempted. I know how you feel makes it sound impossible but that day will come, so remember how this has felt. I almost died so many times, and that was after I swore I would never use again and had been clean 3 years.

[sd_comedian]

I can deal with the pain I am  still having and the lack of energy but what kills me is the bug feeling I have in my chest,I just woke up with it and damn its bothering me. Feelos like thousands of ants crawling inside my chest.  So annoying I can sleep. Any advice for this to go away? OR how long I can expect this to last? Remembwr I was taking 20 Norco or  20  Percocet 10-325  at a time 4 to 5 times  a day. So like 80 to 100  of them. With this make it last longer because of the amount I was taking?

On the othewr hand I DID walk  about  a mile today. WOW! was I tired but  it did feel good to be able  to do  it. Wel, looks like some of you   moved on  from here and  I understand  but  the others who are  still with  me any advice for  these damn  bug  feelings in my chest  would be great!  Thank you so much guys,  even though i have nver met  you,  you   are helping me more than you  know. Keep me pushing   on and I  WILL  ,i  say  I WILL get through this. Than I plan  to help  others  both  her and throught  my   chemical dep  with my insurahve  or  vo  give  my  time when  ever         I can,  hank you all again, I wikk be  waqitinh for my  answwer     for  thrdr  dsdamn  bug feelingd

[sd_comedian]

Well, I am feeling a little better. I can actually walk outside for a block or so but then I feel like I ran 10 miles.  I have not been sleeping as much either. I am actually on my reg pattern with maybe an hour nap here and there. I cant thank you all enough for the kind words nd help. Please  keep them coming as the DO  keep me motavited. Thanks again.  Aslo, go to my inbox here and if you give me your email I will send you a copy of my stand up show I did with Charley Murphy and Joe  Rogan. Thake care.

[sd_comedian]

Hello Don, yes you herd right, I was taking that many. Ya, Crazy stupid and I am lucky to be alive. I do have great insurance and did get hlp. However they will NOT put you into inpatient for this. WEll, My primary Dr is great, the chemical dep program ***** with the rest of Kaiser.  The Therapist I saw gAVE ME A 5 DAY SUPPLY of detox meds and  I ran out today, He sais to just call and he would refil if I needed. I DO! I feel like a group of guy are beating me with baseball bats. I called and he is gone until monday and they refused to help me with the refil even though its in the records! Sais I needed to come in personaly. I told them in my condetion  it wouldnt happen and my wife was not here to drive me they said to either deal with the suffering or get in my car and get there. its about 35 miles from me and I cant even see straight. what a crock.

[weaver71]

When I could go a whole day with out vomiting, I started going to an AA meeting every day. Two things. I got out of the house and away from any judgement from my wife and my wife saw that I was doing whatever it took to get clean. After care is key. You can start building support before the pain goes away, so you have a plan when temptation strikes. Opiates are deceptive liars and make us into deceptive liars. We lie to ourselves and make are families go as numb as we are. We chose at first then it was a matter of survival. I thought I needed medicine because I was ill, but realized the illness was the medicine. Go to any means to stay clean and everything falls into place. My wife doesn't trust me, but she stopped hating me. We must seek progress over perfection. Keep up the good fight.

[atthebeach]

hey it is understandable that your wife is angry right now. i get it. i am the wife of an addict. the lies,deceit,manipulation,finance issues,hurts run deep. it will take time for her to heal too. just as it will take time for you to heal. i would definitely suggest counseling for both of you, do you have clergy you could meet with? a psychologist,martial counselor?
you should go to a support group, na/aa and she should go to alanon. there are people there in the same boat as her they understand and can support her. dont expect to much from her right now. just ask her to give it some time. time does heal. my husband used for 14 years of our marriage, lots of baggage, my 2 oldest children are also addicts. the good news is he has been clean for 2 1/2 years, we are healing, day by day. it will take time for the trust to be restored, for the damage to be fixed. it can be.
there is forgiveness. she needs some time to process it all and get through the pain, anger, and hurt. dont argue, just let her have her say,
getting it all out is a healing in itself.
keep the faith.keep up the good work, you are winning the battle.

sending prayers and hope,
debbie