last ditch effort

[BeyondScrewed]

I think ive been going about this all wrong. I get so angry about where I'm at and what ive done to myself that I try to drop down way to far way too fast. Then when I cant take it nymore, instead of trying to just take the edge off I go nuts and end up right back where I freakin started.
My new goal is simply to sutvive on my scriot alone. Ive told all my sources that if they consider me a friend in any way, that they will ignore my phone calls from here on out.
I also told my sister that my next Dr appt is on Thursday. I am bringing the paper directly to her. She is going to pick up the scripts, hold them, and under no circumstances is she to give me more than what I am supposed to have. Unless I get sent outta town for work.
Please everyone, cross your fingers for me.
I cant live like this nymire. I have no joy, no hope, no drive to do nything. This stupid G** D***ed little blue pills runs my life. And ruined my life. I want my life back. Please........let this be the start FINALLY of something I succeed at. PLEASE

[Free2agoodhome]

The days of "taking the edge off" are over man. You are an addict who can no longer take opiates/narcotics as prescribed.

I am the same way. If I take them,,,,even one,,,,I will abuse them. This is not a theory I'm testing about myself, It's been proven. Opiates/drugs  the great stealer of life.... of happinessy....I gave it enough of my life to it...no more,,,,

You will make it...put in the work....its worth it,,,,


Much support

Free~

[akitagurl12]

Those are some huge steps you took, telling your sources to STOP giving you pills and asking your sister for her help.  I am not familiar with your whole situation, but why are you prescribed the pain meds?  Is it a condition that has pain that could be managed without it, or in a different way?  I just know for me, once I crossed that point of no return and got totally addicted, my tolerance sky rocketed and i really couldn't just take a few or what would be a normal prescribed dose. Whenever I tried to limit my intake,  It only made it worse for me and actually created pain where there wouldn't have been any had I not been keeping myself in constant w/ds.  Not sure why you need it, I was fortunate not to have legit pain, I had only taken pain pills for the sole purpose of getting high. Ugh. Anyways, I really admire how hard you are fighting this, and as long as you don't give up, you will do this!