Aa
I try, but can't....
I have been reading a lot of posts on this site for the last two days and finally got the nerve to write. I've been addicted to Vicodin for 5 years now. I've been taking 5-6 5/500mg a day. I'm 31 and I was first introduced to this "nighmare" pill 5 years ago due to a broken ankle from a car accident. I was taking them as pescribed for the pain and once I healed I was still taking them because of the euphoric feeling I got. I was still able to get them from my dr. until I no longer had insurance and I could no longer see him. So...my older brother (I can't blame him for my addiction) is pescribed vicodin regularly for two slipped disks in his back. He doesn't always take them because he says they make him sick, so I have been making up excuses as to why he should instead give them to me plus I must admitt I have taken pills when I visit him. Well this has been goin on now for about 3 years...and I'm starting to really hate how I feel, the guilt and shame of keeping this a secret and being dependent on them. I am scared to death of the W/D's.
I forgot to mention, not only am I sick of this, my girlfriend and I have a 1 year old and i hate the thought of him having a drug addicted dad. She has no Idea I take these and I worry that she will leave me and take my son.Any advise would be appreceated.
I forgot to mention, not only am I sick of this, my girlfriend and I have a 1 year old and i hate the thought of him having a drug addicted dad. She has no Idea I take these and I worry that she will leave me and take my son.Any advise would be appreceated.
No problems man!! You can do this. A quick taper schedule for 5 pills a day is that you are awake 16 hours, which calculates into a pill every 2.5 hours.....sometimes it's easier to decrease the dose (i.e cut the pill in half and later cutting them in 1/4's) before you start lengthening the time between pills/half pills. It's a mental thing...............
so
get up 7 am take a pill-9:30 take 1/2 pill...noon take 1/2 pill......2:30 take 1/2 pill....you get the drift.
If you keep a whole pill for morning and a whole pill for bedtime as the last to be cut down this will help you sleep through the night (no waking up with WD's in the middle of the night and the morning dose will help with getting a bit normalized for your day of tapering). Just some suggestions. .
anyway-give me a shout on a PM if you need a more definative schedule.
Stay strong
Greebs
so
get up 7 am take a pill-9:30 take 1/2 pill...noon take 1/2 pill......2:30 take 1/2 pill....you get the drift.
If you keep a whole pill for morning and a whole pill for bedtime as the last to be cut down this will help you sleep through the night (no waking up with WD's in the middle of the night and the morning dose will help with getting a bit normalized for your day of tapering). Just some suggestions. .
anyway-give me a shout on a PM if you need a more definative schedule.
Stay strong
Greebs
Thank you so much for the information. I read several posts where the person tapered off. I am ganna give this a try...thank you for the formula. I need to do this. Thank you soooo much.
I was in the same situation as you. Mine started over a severe infection I got in my mouth. Do you take them every single day? If so, just 5 to 6 a day or more? I have a daughter and a husband and I feel the same way. I've stopped cold turkey plenty of times and let me tell you I was taking narcs a lot stronger than vicodin and a lot more than 5 to 6 a day. It's not that bad. You can do it! Anyway, welcome to the forum. Today is my second day being on here. You did the right thing by taking this first step. Everyone on this forum is soooo amazing and is soooo willing to help and support you in whatever you do. Please write me back and let me know about you dosage. I've been an addict for about 5 or 6 years. Heavy addict for about 3 years.
PS....meant to say you are "MENTALLY ADDICTED"-which is different from physically dependent....
We can set you up with a 'taper' plan if need be-it's a slower way to cut down your dose until you are down to almost nothing and then you can quit with minimal physical WD's. Keep reading....avisg or myself or NautyOne can set you up with a taper....
DO NOT beat yourself up. It is what it is. You have admitted you have a problem (which is 90% of the battle) Now you are doing something about it.
The mental part of your problem can be a bit trickier.
You are PHYSICALLY dependent and you are MENTALLY dependent. They really are two seperate things. Go to my journal entries and read up on PAWS (Post Accute Withdrawal Symptoms parts 1-3) .
Now for some straight talk for you to think about:
Time for some technical talk... One of the things which increases "dependence" is a spike in drug blood plasma levels. Addicts do this on purpose to get a "high". They do it by Snorting (Very fast delivery), IV Injections, Chewing up meds and taking on an empty stomach.
The above all produce the most amount of drug in the blood in an attempt to get a buzz. These spikes are one of the reasons we addicts get hooked faster than a COMPLIANT Chronic Pain Patient.
Being compliant means they take only as directed. The goal of compliance is to maintain an even blood plasma at the minimum amount to treat PAIN and NOT to produce euphoria (a high).
Since the blood plasma levels are lower, the levels of dopamine at the synaptic cleft do not spike so the receptor sites do not downregulate or decrease in number in response to the initially MUCH higher level of dopamine released as a result of spiking.
Addictive dosing behaviors, the large doses associated to Spike the blood plasma level, vs the lower low dosing and more often which is the KEY factor to the physical changes the brain makes which cause dependency.
Dependency is the actual physical changes to your body which cause withdrawal. Addiction is the BEHAVIOR of taking the drugs to get high, not as prescribed, and when not needed for clinical reasons. It is the un-manageable behaviors associated with lack of control.
Which comes first... Dependence or addiction? Usually it's addiction, but it can be the other way, but the key issue which causes the progression of addiction are the behaviors.
Addiction is what makes you take more and more, spiking doses, etc. This in turn increases dependence. The higher your dependence the higher the tollerance... Round and round you go. The addiction merry-go-round.
How to break the cycle? The only way is to change the behavior. That is a very difficult thing. Pain is usually a very good motivator. So is Euphoria. When the pain out weighs the euphoria one starts to consider breaking the cycle. Unfortunately the pain being eliminated by the drug is a driving force. Then the addict associated the RELIEF of th pain to the drug instead of the drug being the CAUSE of the pain.
SOoooooooo what to do? Break the cycle.
Many have to hit bottom to do that. That's the point where the pain of using overwhelms the relief of using. It's an emotional point which is different for different people. Not every one has to hit a bottom to quit. The sooner you quit the less pain and suffering you have to experience.
For folks who are on smaller doses and their disease has not progressed very far, they have not felt the extent of pain addiction can cause. Only conceptualizing how bad it can get may not be good enough to motivate a person early in addiction to quit.
Intellectually we know what lays ahead. We hear the truth from others, but yet we continue to use. It is not until we get a glimpse of the pain that lays ahead do we become to believe we need to quit. One HAS to believe that in fact addiction does lead to the loss of everything and eventually Jails Institutions and Death.
Addiction is a lot easier to nip in the bud physically but maybe not emotionally because one has not experienced the pain first hand. Some need more pain than others to quit. Some don't make it and end up end stage and their addiction wins.
If you want to get off of the pills you have to change your behavior.
1) STOP SNORTING your pills!
2) Stop spiking your dose!
3) stop taking enough to get high
You will never quit until you do that. Weather you can or not is up to you.
You have to come to a point where you make the decision you want to quit. The en you have to make a plan then you have to execute that plan. SIMPLE .... but not easy.
The solution from a clinical point of view for you at your point of addiction is so easy. A simple taper, and change the behavior. In short break the cycle.
How to do a taper is easy. Changing the behavior is the HARD part, but you have to want to change.
If you are taking 6 pills a day... then start taking them in even doses and don't take like 3-4 at a time. 24 hrs divided by 6 = 4 hrs. So only take one pill every 4 hrs. Then take 5 pills in 24 hrs. That's 4.8 hrs. Then 4 pills a day... break pills into 1/2's so you have 8 1/2 pills. and take 1/2 a pill every 3 hrs. Etc.
If you can't stick to a taper give the pills to a friend to dispense.
Mean while .. you have to start changing the way you think and the things you do... You should educate yourself... Good place to do all of that is NA or AA. It's FREE and takes up time. It forces you to be doing something other than sitting around with nothing to do and just thinking about using.
It's not the only way, but it's a good place to start. Take what you need from it, and leave the rest.
If you take the same amount or less every day and don't spike your dose you will eventually quit.
30 mg of Hydro can be tapered to 0 in 2-4 weeks painlessly. The PAWS will be minimal too.
The ball is in your court. We can not make you do anything. Only YOU can.
When you are ready is up to you. If you need to stay "out there" using and see for yourself how bad it will get that's up to you.
My recommendation.. Start to QUIT now! It will be a whole lot easier.
Stay Strong,
YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Greebo
DO NOT beat yourself up. It is what it is. You have admitted you have a problem (which is 90% of the battle) Now you are doing something about it.
The mental part of your problem can be a bit trickier.
You are PHYSICALLY dependent and you are MENTALLY dependent. They really are two seperate things. Go to my journal entries and read up on PAWS (Post Accute Withdrawal Symptoms parts 1-3) .
Now for some straight talk for you to think about:
Time for some technical talk... One of the things which increases "dependence" is a spike in drug blood plasma levels. Addicts do this on purpose to get a "high". They do it by Snorting (Very fast delivery), IV Injections, Chewing up meds and taking on an empty stomach.
The above all produce the most amount of drug in the blood in an attempt to get a buzz. These spikes are one of the reasons we addicts get hooked faster than a COMPLIANT Chronic Pain Patient.
Being compliant means they take only as directed. The goal of compliance is to maintain an even blood plasma at the minimum amount to treat PAIN and NOT to produce euphoria (a high).
Since the blood plasma levels are lower, the levels of dopamine at the synaptic cleft do not spike so the receptor sites do not downregulate or decrease in number in response to the initially MUCH higher level of dopamine released as a result of spiking.
Addictive dosing behaviors, the large doses associated to Spike the blood plasma level, vs the lower low dosing and more often which is the KEY factor to the physical changes the brain makes which cause dependency.
Dependency is the actual physical changes to your body which cause withdrawal. Addiction is the BEHAVIOR of taking the drugs to get high, not as prescribed, and when not needed for clinical reasons. It is the un-manageable behaviors associated with lack of control.
Which comes first... Dependence or addiction? Usually it's addiction, but it can be the other way, but the key issue which causes the progression of addiction are the behaviors.
Addiction is what makes you take more and more, spiking doses, etc. This in turn increases dependence. The higher your dependence the higher the tollerance... Round and round you go. The addiction merry-go-round.
How to break the cycle? The only way is to change the behavior. That is a very difficult thing. Pain is usually a very good motivator. So is Euphoria. When the pain out weighs the euphoria one starts to consider breaking the cycle. Unfortunately the pain being eliminated by the drug is a driving force. Then the addict associated the RELIEF of th pain to the drug instead of the drug being the CAUSE of the pain.
SOoooooooo what to do? Break the cycle.
Many have to hit bottom to do that. That's the point where the pain of using overwhelms the relief of using. It's an emotional point which is different for different people. Not every one has to hit a bottom to quit. The sooner you quit the less pain and suffering you have to experience.
For folks who are on smaller doses and their disease has not progressed very far, they have not felt the extent of pain addiction can cause. Only conceptualizing how bad it can get may not be good enough to motivate a person early in addiction to quit.
Intellectually we know what lays ahead. We hear the truth from others, but yet we continue to use. It is not until we get a glimpse of the pain that lays ahead do we become to believe we need to quit. One HAS to believe that in fact addiction does lead to the loss of everything and eventually Jails Institutions and Death.
Addiction is a lot easier to nip in the bud physically but maybe not emotionally because one has not experienced the pain first hand. Some need more pain than others to quit. Some don't make it and end up end stage and their addiction wins.
If you want to get off of the pills you have to change your behavior.
1) STOP SNORTING your pills!
2) Stop spiking your dose!
3) stop taking enough to get high
You will never quit until you do that. Weather you can or not is up to you.
You have to come to a point where you make the decision you want to quit. The en you have to make a plan then you have to execute that plan. SIMPLE .... but not easy.
The solution from a clinical point of view for you at your point of addiction is so easy. A simple taper, and change the behavior. In short break the cycle.
How to do a taper is easy. Changing the behavior is the HARD part, but you have to want to change.
If you are taking 6 pills a day... then start taking them in even doses and don't take like 3-4 at a time. 24 hrs divided by 6 = 4 hrs. So only take one pill every 4 hrs. Then take 5 pills in 24 hrs. That's 4.8 hrs. Then 4 pills a day... break pills into 1/2's so you have 8 1/2 pills. and take 1/2 a pill every 3 hrs. Etc.
If you can't stick to a taper give the pills to a friend to dispense.
Mean while .. you have to start changing the way you think and the things you do... You should educate yourself... Good place to do all of that is NA or AA. It's FREE and takes up time. It forces you to be doing something other than sitting around with nothing to do and just thinking about using.
It's not the only way, but it's a good place to start. Take what you need from it, and leave the rest.
If you take the same amount or less every day and don't spike your dose you will eventually quit.
30 mg of Hydro can be tapered to 0 in 2-4 weeks painlessly. The PAWS will be minimal too.
The ball is in your court. We can not make you do anything. Only YOU can.
When you are ready is up to you. If you need to stay "out there" using and see for yourself how bad it will get that's up to you.
My recommendation.. Start to QUIT now! It will be a whole lot easier.
Stay Strong,
YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Greebo
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