im on at night....again

[liscamdave]

hey guys...im on at night again...which is rare for me...but here i am..how is everyone. Im still on the sub, but only taking 2mgs like every other day..going to continue to taper and string the doses out until i dont need it at all. Im starting an addiction counselor and im so excited. Well..i hope you are all well. There are so many new faces here. Welcome all. And to my friends..i love and miss u all. I should be around tonight for a while...so hope i get to chat...

xoxo, lisa

[oxygirl487]

she did give me some percosets which i ended up taking 6 and i struggled to keep myself in control u know so i ended up flushing those.....when i took percs yrs ago i doid take them as prescribed but that was b4 i started abusing.....was just to much temptation for me and hubby really.......i still have 1 though (addict behavior for sure huh) just makes me feel better in some sorta weird way...like if i need it really really bad at least i wont have to suffer to bad .....i came clean to my dr and she still insisted i have a prescription for percs at least saying i needed them  .....i was like wtf?....i shouldnt have even filled them..but anyway i still consider myself clean from oc's for  2.5 months....some people didnt agree with that but i dont care..u know as well as i do oc's r evil  lol.....not trying to justify anything i just feel i have that right darnit  lol.....she also gave me tramadol ..i didnt take those...didnt even get them filled...hell i had a whole med cabinet full of those that i also flushed lol.....could u imagine being a fish in my neighborhood? lmao......thanks for listening to me...i need someone to chat with tonite...i am craving big time....even though ive had a good day   still craving  grrrrr...i hate this......so u still crave with the sub?

[liscamdave]

honey, you could never get on my nerves, so dont let me hear you say that again. I am here for you and you know that. I am also so darn proud of you. I remember when you came here, you were so upset and so lost. And now look at you, 3 months clean?? WOW. I am just so proud. You are an inspiration to so many on here. You truly are.

Now, cant your dr's give you anything to help with the pain? I mean anything non-narcotic? There has to be something.

I know what you mean about being alone. it is so hard for me when my daughter goes with her dad every other weekend. In stead of getting out of the house with my friends, I'd rather stay in and get pills. I haven't and with the sub the need to do it isn't there, as much. But I still want to sometimes and have bad urges. That is why I to start counseling. So we will see.

Anyway, chat away im here for a little while...

xoxoxoxo, Lisa

[oxygirl487]

oh i am sooo happy for u...at one time i remember u were very upset with yourself and i thought u might give up....words cannot describe how happy i am for u  omg i am soo crying right now.....we both had a really bad oc adiction and we r overcomming our demons...thats what i call it....hope the counseling and meetings help....ive thought about going to a meeting but just havent been physically able......

me im doing great almost 3 months clean feb 12th.. i have alot of pain but that seems to get better each day..i think the pills lowered my pain tolerance..my dr wants me to go see a specalist  for another spinal fusion..im not going thru that again..ive had 2already and its hell......today i actually went for a walk and im so proud of myself...no big deal to some but for me to walk for more than 10 minutes without meds or my walker im amazed  lol......as for cravings they r still pretty bad sometimes espicially when im alone...im alone right now thats why im on here so i wont get on my phone and call my "buddy"..so if im getting on ur nerves just say oxygirl  shut up   lol......hubby is also still clean......im just so proud of u lisa...i mean that ...love u girl and god bless u

[liscamdave]

GIRL....we are also never on together..this must be my night...lol..I am doing good, thank the lord. I am trying my hardest and I pray that i never go back. But I am trying to take all the right steps to avoid that. How are you? I hope you are well sweetie, I really do. I miss you and love you tons...

xoxo, Lisa

[liscamdave]

Hey girl...honey, I miss you too. We never are on at the same time. I am seeing all my girls tonite, you...shel and avis are all on. Um to answer your questions..the sub is awesome. I have heard some horror stories about w.d if you stay on it too long, so I am trying to do a short taper..I have only been taking it for about a month and a small dose at that. I may have some w.d but I hope not too bad. And it makes me feel completely normal. I waited about 24hrs before my first dose and it took all my w.d away. I hate the  taste of it, but it works for me. It makes me feel good and the cravings are gone. I am starting counseling, so I can figure out why I keep relapsing and I am also going to meetings. So hopefully, with the right tools I can conquer this demon. I am here for you girl, this you already know...how are you? Are you ok? Are you still clean? Are your cravings still bad...talk to me...

xoxo, Lisa

[liscamdave]

OMG....honey....how the heck are you. OMG..I  miss you so darn much. I have been leaving posts for you. I will email you tomorrow from work. I have soooo much to tell you. I cannot believe we are on at the same time. We NEVER catch each other anymore. How are you?  I love you honey and I have missed you sooooooo much. I should be on for a little while, so feel free to post or PM me....I miss you sweetie, so much...

xoxoxo, Lisa

[liscamdave]

hopsing...hey buddy. So good to hear from you. I am doing well and thank you for the support. I liked you right away when you came and joined our little forum family. Love and luck to you my friend...xo  Lisa

flmagi...hey girl..havent talked to you in forever. Things are going great...I hope you are well...xoxo Lisa

toxic...so far, so good. Hope you are well....xoxo Lisa

[shelby74]

Hi honey!

Sounds like you are hard at work getting clean again and seeing a therapist!  That is wonderful!  I am 36 days clean today and I have been seeing a therapist this time.  What a difference.  No more doing things on my own, only took me 11 years to figure that out. lol  I am so, so happy for you Lisa, I truly am.  love you and miss you sweetie.

xoxox

shel

[avisg]

You are doing so well hun , I am proud of you for going to see the counselor. You are doing really well .  
avis

[oxygirl487]

hey girl ive missed u so much sounds like u r doing awesome...is the sub working good for ya?...its weird im on tonite too...hubby is still at work and my kids r at my moms for a while (she lives next door)...so here i am all alone ...when im alone is when i crave the worst so yall can look out....posting posting posting    lol......how does the sub make u feel mentally?.....does it take away that weird feeling?  u know what feeling im talking about ...the outta place,what the hell happened feeling....love u girl and god bless u sweetie

[toxictome]

Good job on the taper...you sound like you're doiing great!

[flmagi]

Sounds like your doing great on the Sub. Hearing that keeps giving me hope. Way to go!!!!!

[hopsing94]

Aww Lisa you sound so good. I'm glad I got to see ya before I go make dinner and get the kids ready for bed. Keep up the good work girl and take care.