Ugh... What did I do

[jibi07]

Here I am again I was doing so good got my 30 day keychain but went off track! Yes I relapsed!!! I'm so disappointed in myself.... Here I sit day 4 feeling like I want to die... Again! Been through this a few times keep telling myself I won't do it again but here I am! I'm so sorry!

[VICourageous]

Hi. I 100% agree with my MH Friends above. If you want to call it a relasp I  was on one for the last 40 years. I went into a place back n the 90s to get off the hydo/oxys and lasted one week and ran back. Then I went up the latter to the Methadone & 2 other meds for years.
I am going to be honest here it is not easy at all. I do not drink alcohol either.
If it is not some kind of pain and feeling sick or lonely, board, or just plain oh emotions that have to play, I would be on top of the world. OH Do not get me wrong it is a lot better not putting those friggen Substances in our body, but it takes work every single min of the day. I do think with more time the cravings get less. It is just that TIME word and it does take Time. So just get back up on the Saddle and Ride again..DO NOT Pack your bags and go on a quilt trip. It is not worth it!!
Bless

[HappyDays2Come]

Hi and welcome back! First and foremost, know that most of us on here didn't just quit and stick with it the first time (wouldn't that be fantastic if the majority did:)?). You have to recognize what triggered your relapse and remember to always keep your guard up. Don't give up or get down on yourself, instead take the steps to ensure that you won't relapse again. Aftercare of some sort, perhaps? Read addiction books, go to meetings, get into the middle of a recovery plan and be sure to gather a support system around you. Congrats on your day 4...that's awesome and keep that clean time sacred. You'll be posting your 30 days again soon so do not dwell on the relapse and, instead, look forward to your brighter days ahead.

[EvolverU]

I hear you & I know it's a drag to go through it again & again. Do you have any support in this? Anyone helping you out? Your slip was pretty brief right? So, you should be over the hump soon. Stick with it & try not to be so hard on yourself. (Easy to say, I know, I'm the last to talk!!)

[jibi07]

Not sure what triggered it .... Just stupidity ! I can't take this physical crap that I keep putting myself through! Most days I just wanna die, I feel like I'm on a ledge I'm terrified!

[EvolverU]

Hey Jibi! Great to see you & Congratulations on day 4! Try not to be so hard on yourself. It happens to all of us. The important thing is that you picked yourself up & are back 'at it'. Good for you!! Thanks for coming forward & getting 'witnessed'. (That takes cojones!)

I'd echo my buddy ariley13's questions re: Have you identified what triggered your slip & what adjustments you can make to seal that chink in your armor.

Soooo, how're you feeling, my friend? Again, it's nice to see you. I wish you all the determination, 'Guard-Upness' & patience you'll need to make this one Stick!

[ariley13]

Hi and welcome back! Please don't be too hard on yourself. Almost every single one of us has relapsed. Some of us have done it a lot. It's just par for the course, unfortunately. What you need to focus on now is, what can you do differently this time to make it work? What triggered you to use? What steps might you take this time to prevent another relapse? You know the drill here. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get right back on the horse. I'm proud of you for having the courage to try again. We are here for you.