Is Being Clean & Sober Enough?

[YesLife4Me]

Today I went to an AA meeting at lunch time.  I was encouraged not to do this alone because you need after care and support and "Is being clean & sober enough" was the topic?    Short answer for me is that right now, yes.  It is putting me on the path in the right direction.  In time relying on just being off the pills won't be enough because that hasn't worked for me before, so why would it now?   Thank you to those who encouraged me to to go to a meeting!  

[Michymich]

Addiction is a serious thing and hard to stop but the result is short term the recovery canbe long term. You have many supporters world wide you just don't know it yet. All of us here are here for you you taken the biggest step so I think your on the road to freedom. You just have to keep trying its like riding a bike at first it's tough and wobbly but after a few more tries you become a pro and possibly begin loving it. The clean up is beyond words. Waking up feeling fresh and free looking forward to everyday. Having accomplished what you want is one of the greatest feelings. Your not given anything you can't handle it's just a challenge.

[ImDONENoMore]

Oh my goodness!  Well I definitely think you're on to something there on the whole people pleaser thing.... you've given me a lot to think about!  But I definitely think that's a huge part of it.  Being accepted by others?  HUGE part of it.

And also listening - SO important.  My g-d when I think about all that time I wasted thinking I knew what was best - I could do it on my own - I could handle it - but as soon I stopped using "I" and started saying "we" - meaning I told my husband, Dr.'s, pharmacists, that I was in HUGE trouble and needed help (course they all knew that already..)..but that began everything.  Suddenly I was accountable to someone else besides myself - which of course made all the difference in the world because obviously, I could no longer trust myself to make the right decisions and do what had to be done to get well.  Was that stubborn behavior?  Maybe.  Stupid behavior?  Definitely!

I believe in you - I can hear your conviction and faith in the process in your words.  But most importantly, I hear HOPE in your words.  You're on your way to a MUCH better life and I'm so excited for you!

[YesLife4Me]

I couldn't agree with you more about getting to the root of the problem.   I think in the early stages it is about concentrating on NOT using so you can get to work on the root of the problem.   Then comes a whole new revelation about oneself just staying clean won't be enough.  It will be about a new way of thinking and living.  That's what I want...really, really want.   (Even though my brain is trying to convince me at the moment that a substance will take me away from my pain temporarily  No thank you... I know where that goes!)  That's the battle I'm having right now.  

I was actually wondering about the people pleasing portion of it as well?   Is it that we try so hard to be accepted by pleasing others that we short change ourselves and turn to self medicating because our own needs aren't being met?  

I just listened today and it was what I needed.  

[OpenMind24hours]

I could never remain clean and sober unless I get away from myself for an hour or two and hit a meeting. Every time I go, I hear something(s) I needed to hear. But I have to keep going to hear these nuggets. I try not to think of what I'm going to say until its my time to share so I can listen. When it's my time to share, what comes out is what's supposed to come out most of the time, I guess. It's like when I listen and share I leave the meeting with refreshed brain matter lol.

[ImDONENoMore]

It's funny... seems like a lot of addicts are "people pleasers" before they become an addict.  Wonder what the correlation there is all about......

But nonetheless, IBK is so right.  It has SO much more to do with finding a new way to live than just giving up your DOC.  SO much more.  Hard to define early on, but with time comes more clarity.  Why you abused the drugs, why you hid it from everyone, why you tried to quit over and over again only to relapse continuously (so many of us go through that)... but all those issues come to a head the longer you're sober and they have to be dealt with one way or another.  Which is why you see aftercare talked about so much here.

But the new life "clean and sober" IS enough if you find the answers to those questions and just do the work.  It really is.

[YesLife4Me]

I had forgotten what a great support system it can be.  I found myself hurting when some talked about the pain and harm they had caused others and it made me think about what I had done to others in my addiction.  So many regrets.   The saying that you are as sick as your secrets really rang true when I started thinking about it.   I feel guilty, shameful, dirty, etc and that kept driving me to use more.  The only way out of the cycle is to come clean.  I'm gonna have to work on that step.  Admitting my faults is not an easy thing for me to do.  I'm too busy getting in my own way and  I've always been the one to be there for others and just suck it up.   The drugs just helped me cope with that.   I will go back tomorrow.  :)   Each day promises to be better than the day before and I am living proof of that!!!    

[IBKleen]

I am glad that you went to a meeting and hope you go again...a lot.

What they meant by is it enough is that we need to change things such as our behavior and our thinking when we get clean. So for me, just being clean is not enough. I spent years working on the things that caused me to abuse drugs in the first place. It helped me get to the root of my issues. The problem was always me, the drugs just masked the problems.

I celebrated five years last month and remain very active in the fellowships. If I think that I don't still need help or if I lose my support system is the day I will relapse. Been there, done that.

Keep going back. It works!

[weaver71]

Yey! Addiction is an I thing, recovery is a WE thing. I couldn't get clean alone, I'm sure I couldn't stay clean alone. Great topic. I don't think we can ever over do it in recovery. It's amazing how we hear exactly what we need to at meetings. I'm not sure what the Higher Power is, but something strange happens to those seek it. Be it the group, God, fruedian super-consciousness, something magical happens for those who seek it. Glad to see you are taking advice, that's one of my character defects. Thanks for the inspiration.